Mean Girls Page #7

- Yeah.

- Yeah. Yeah.

Because I told my friend Janis

I'd go to her art show.

We've had these tickets for months.

You love Ladysmith Black Mambazo.

But she's my friend,

and I made her a promise.

I think Cady's old enough

to spend one night on her own.

I had learned how to control

everyone around me.

Hey. I'm having a small get-together

at my house tomorrow night.

- Is Regina going?

- No. Do you think I'm an idiot?

No, it's just gonna be

a few cool people,

and you better be

one of them, byotch.

- Fine, I'll go.

- Shut up.

I love that shirt on you.

Aaron Samuels was going to be

in my house at my party.

Everything had to be perfect.

And this time when Aaron saw me,

I wouldn't be caught

in some ridiculous costume.

Hey, guys.

- You look awesome!

- You look awesome!

I know, right?

OK, so I got enough cheese

and crackers for eight people.

Do you think that's enough?

- Yeah.

- Yeah. Oh, yeah.

OK.

It was not enough.

Somehow, the word had gotten out

about my small get-together.

Jason is here with Taylor Wedell.

He's just using her

to make you mad.

- Have you guys seen Aaron yet?

- No.

Dude, put on

"The Ramayana Monkey Chant".

- Do I know you?

- Deek! What up, dog?

She thinks she's gonna have

a party and not invite me?

- Who does she think she is?

- You're right, hon.

I, like, invented her,

you know what I mean?

Jason.

I have to talk to you.

Whatever.

- I love you.

- I know, I know.

Hey! Put that down!

Was Aaron blowing me off?

What's up?

Gretchen came to talk to me.

- Oh, no.

- Look,

I don't wanna hurt your feelings,

but I only date women of color.

I have to pee.

Get out.

- Hey.

- Hey.

I've been looking

for you everywhere.

Me too.

You look...

- New clothes?

- Thanks.

You wanna go downstairs?

No, no. Let's stay here.

Thanks for getting me

to come out tonight.

Yeah, sure, no problem.

I wasted too much time

being pissed off at Regina.

No more liars.

I would never lie to you.

I know, I know.

Although...

OK, listen.

I mean, I did lie to you once,

but you're totally gonna laugh

when I tell you, so...

Tell me what?

I pretended to be bad at math

so that you'd help me.

But the thing is,

I'm not really bad at math.

I'm actually really good at math.

You're kind of bad at math.

Anyways, now I'm failing.

Isn't that funny?

Wait. You're failing on purpose?

That's stupid.

No. Not on purpose.

Just, you know...

I just wanted a reason to talk to you.

So why didn't you just talk to me?

Well, because I couldn't.

Because of Regina.

Because you were her property...

- Her property?

- No. Shut up. Not her property...

No, don't tell me to shut up.

- I wasn't...

- God, you know what?

You are just like a clone of Regina.

Oh, no, no, listen to me.

You're not listening to me...

Oh, no. It was coming up again.

Word vomit. No, wait a minute...

- What is this?!

- Actual vomit.

Aaron!

Aaron, wait! Just...

OK. Call me.

- Oh, God.

- You dirty little liar.

I'm sorry. I can explain.

Explain how you forgot

to invite us to your party?

Janis, I cannot stop this car.

I have a curfew.

You know I couldn't invite you.

I had to pretend to be Plastic.

Hey, buddy, you're not

pretending anymore.

You're Plastic.

Cold, shiny, hard Plastic.

Curfew, 1 a.m. It is now 1:10.

Did you have an awesome time?

Did you drink awesome shooters

and listen to awesome music,

and then just sit around and soak up

each other's awesomeness?

You're the one who made me like this

so you could use me

for your eighth-grade revenge.

God! See, at least me and

Regina George know we're mean.

You try to act like you're so innocent.

Like, "Oh, I used to live in Africa

"with all the little birdies

and the little monkeys."

You know what? It's not my fault

you're in love with me or something!

- What?!

- Oh, no she did not!

See? That is the thing

with you Plastics.

You think that everybody

is in love with you,

when actually, everybody hates you.

Like Aaron Samuels, for example.

He broke up with Regina

and guess what.

He still doesn't want you.

So why are you still messing

with Regina, Cady? I'll tell you why.

Because you are a mean girl!

You're a b*tch!

Here. You can have this.

It won a prize.

And I want my pink shirt back!

I want my pink shirt back!

Hon, slow down.

It's like I can't trust anyone anymore.

Why are you eating a Klteen bar?

- I'm starving.

- Man, I hate those things.

Coach Carr makes us eat those when

we wanna move up a weight class.

What?

They make you gain weight like crazy.

Mother...

This girl is the nastiest skank b*tch

I've ever met.

Do not trust her. She is a fugly slut!

I found it in the girls' bathroom.

It's so mean, Mr. Duvall.

Is this true?

Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr?

Good Lord.

What's that say?

"Kaitlyn Caussin is a..."?

Fat whore.

OK, calm down, Miss George.

Why would someone write that?

That's just so mean.

Don't worry, we're gonna

find out who did it.

There's only three girls

in the whole school who aren't in it.

At your age, you're gonna

be having a lot of urges.

You're gonna want to take off

your clothes and touch each other.

But if you do touch each other,

you will get chlamydia. And die.

Coach Carr.

Cady Heron, they wanna see you

in the principal's office.

All right, chlamydia. K-L-A...

In here, Miss Heron.

- What's going on?

- Have a seat, Miss Heron.

- Have you ever seen this before?

- No.

I mean, yes, I've seen it before,

but it's not mine.

You better get your story straight,

Miss Heron,

because I'm not messing

around here.

It's not ours, it's Regina's.

Yeah, she's trying to make it look

like we wrote it, but really, she wrote it.

Miss Wieners, why would Regina

refer to herself as a "fugly slut"?

Miss Smith, this is no time

to be laughing.

We're gonna get to the bottom

of this right now.

Maybe we're not in that book,

because everybody likes us.

And I don't wanna be punished

for being well-liked.

And I don't think my father,

the inventor of Toaster Strudel,

would be too pleased

to hear about this.

"Made out with a hot dog"?

Oh, my God, that was one time!

"Dawn Schweitzer has a huge ass"?

Who would write that?

Who wouldn't write that?

"Trang Pak made out

with Coach Carr"?

And so did Sun Jin Dinh.

Hey! Hey! Settle down!

All right, hey.

No. You do not push and sh...

Do you have anything else

you wanna say?

No, I can't answer any

more questions

until I have a parent

or lawyer present.

Miss Smith?

Whoever wrote it probably didn't

think anyone would ever see it?

I hope that nobody else

ever does see it.

Mom, can you pick me up?

I'm scared.

- "Janis lan, dyke"?

- That's original.

- "Too gay to function"?!

- Hey!

That's only OK when I say it.

- Did you write this?

- No, I swear!

- Then you told somebody!

- She told!

- You little b*tch!

- You're a b*tch!

Yeah! Take your top off!

- Now, here's what we're gonna do...

- Ron, come quick!

They've gone wild.

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