Meatballs Page #4

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- What are you doing?

- Shut the light!

- Get up!

- Come on.

- What is this, breakfast?

- Hardware, get up! Up, up!

Who's the puppy?

What? What?

All right, gentlemen, big event.

- Operation Late Night Excitement.

- Another panty raid, Trip?

No questions, dog face!

Dress up and move out!

Tie him up.

Don't wake him. Tie him gently, now.

He needs his sleep.

On your guard.

Prepare to raise the casket.

Won't fit, Trip.

Spin him.

Company, rotate.

Right face. Right face.

Morning, Mr. Melnick.

- Hey, Mickey!

- Hello, Mickey!

Hey, Mickey!

- Hi, Mickey!

- Hey, Mickey!

- Sleepy?

- Hello, Mr. Melnick.

Morning, Melnick.

Lots of room, lots of room. Looks fine,

Dad. Looks good, Dad. Come on.

- Am I okay?

- Come on. Looks fine, Dad.

Sorry, Dad.

Yo.

You don't have to run with me today,

I know you got things to do.

No, I'd rather run,

it takes my mind off sex.

- Is your dad coming up today?

- He can't.

Mine can't either,

he's gotta mow the lawn.

Mind hanging out with me today?

- No.

- Okay.

- Hey, you got any kids in your family?

- No.

- Did you ever do any time? Prison?

- No.

- You know to hotwire a car?

- Not yet, no.

Well, you'll learn in class.

Did you read in the paper today

about the Polish terrorist?

- No.

- Yeah. A tragedy.

They sent this guy to blow up a car, and

the guy burns his mouth on the tailpipe.

That's an old one.

You'll get that a lot up here.

Rattlesnake! Look out.

All right, quiet.

"She turned her head from side to side

against the dank jungle floor."

Hey, relax.

"In the distance, the ocean undulated

with increasing fervor."

- I can hear them.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- This book is really disgusting.

- Well, it sounds great to me.

I don't believe this.

"She could no longer contain the plea."

Oh, my God.

You little hunk of honey bunch.

"Take me.

"Make me a woman.

"She realized she was uttering sounds

from deep within herself,

"noises unlike any she had ever made."

- Larry.

- Shut up, shut up, okay? Shut up.

"...the hungry personification

of passion and pain.

"Closer and closer the stranger came

towards the entangled pair."

- I'm getting a boner.

- What?

- I said I'm getting a boner.

- Will you...

"...haunting."

- Wait a minute.

- What is it?

I think I hear something.

Okay, let's go check it out.

Quiet.

They can hear us.

I don't hear anything...

- I'm getting out of here.

- I'll bet you they heard us.

- Get out of here, get out of here.

- Okay.

- All right, go on.

- Get up, get up.

Spaz, I'm stuck.

I'm having trouble. Come on, Spaz,

help me. I'm having trouble!

Spaz, what are you doing?

Spaz, you're ripping my face off!

What are you doing? Spaz. Spaz. Spaz!

Spaz!

What are you, a homo, or what?

Spaz! Spaz! Spaz!

Attention. Bus for the Camp Mohawk

basketball game leaving in 15 minutes,

and there is a very fat pair of pants

hanging on the flagpole this morning.

See you at Camp Mohawk, Morty.

One, two, three.

- Camp Mohawk!

- Camp Mohawk!

- Death, injury, blood and brains!

- Death, injury, blood and brains!

- Mohawk, Mohawk, win again!

- Mohawk, Mohawk, win again!

- Death, injury, blood and brains!

- Death, injury, blood and brains!

- Mohawk, Mohawk, win again!

- Mohawk, Mohawk, win again!

- Look out, Mohawk, we'll come through!

- Look out, Mohawk, we'll come through!

- Look out, Mohawk, we'll come through!

- Look out, Mohawk, we'll come through!

I don't know, Trip, those Mohawks

look better than last year.

Guys, it's important for us

to hustle at both ends of the court.

We gotta make the offense work.

We gotta play that big tough D.

We gotta contain their big men inside.

We gotta crash the boards on offense.

We can't give them the baseline

at any price.

But more important

than the score of this game,

is to score at the big social

at our place tonight.

So, I want you guys to go out there

and protect your balls at any cost.

- All right.

- You can count on it.

Bruce Lee, patron of self-defense,

- pray for us.

- Pray for us!

Let's go. All right.

- All right.

- Hey, hey, let's go!

Go get them, guys. Excuse me.

Thank you.

Let's go, Spaz. Do it, Spaz.

- Gary, take it.

- Aw, Spaz!

- Sorry, guys.

- Sink it over here.

All right, this is how it's done.

This is how it's done.

Oh, looks good, Hardware. Looks good.

All right. Let's clean up.

- Try again. Try another one.

- Hey. Take it. Come on.

- You know, our guys don't look so good.

- They're not.

- Death, injury, blood and brains!

- Death, injury, blood and brains!

- Mohawks, Mohawks, win again!

- Mohawks, Mohawks, win again!

- Go, North Star, go!

- Go, North Star, go!

Son of a gun, son of a gun!

- Go, North Star, go!

- Go, North Star, go!

Hey, Wheels,

you're going home in an ambulance.

- Nice shirt, Crockett.

- Thanks.

- All right, guys.

- Thanks. Mook.

Let's go, let's go. Come on,

let's play some basketball here.

Come on. Here we go.

- Go, North Star, go!

- Go, North Star, go!

Hey, nice going, Mohawks, nice going.

A**holes.

- Am I all right?

- That was a great try, buddy.

Oh, yeah. I think we're in big trouble.

That Crockett's really cute.

Yeah, but he can't play basketball

worth a sh*t.

Go, North Star, go.

There are five guys.

They play offense and defense,

but they play

at different ends of the court,

and they switch sides at half-time.

Wheels!

Hardware!

- You all right?

- Yeah.

Help me, Spaz, come on.

Take it easy, easy. Come on.

Now you know

why they call that guy Rhino.

- Oh, my God, his nose is bleeding.

- It's gonna get even bigger now.

Jackie.

- Come here. You okay?

- Yeah.

Hardware Renzetti, girls.

It's just a nosebleed.

Looks like he's gonna be

at the big social tonight.

He'll be there.

It really doesn't look any worse, really.

- Really?

- Go out there and kill 'em.

- All right.

- Fazul!

- Come on!

- Hardware!

- Go, North Star, go!

- Go, North Star, go!

- Go, North Star, go!

- Go, North Star, go!

- Go, North Star, go!

- Go, North Star, go!

Hey, Larry, you scored!

Way to go! Okay, you guys,

feed Fink, he's our hot man.

All right, there!

Okay, cover me!

Come on, let's go! Let's go!

Let's kill 'em!

- Come on, guys. That's it.

- Oh, sure.

Hey, Larry! Larry, again.

Do it again, Larry!

- It's all right, it's okay!

- It's all right, it's okay!

- We can beat 'em anyway!

- We can beat 'em anyway!

- It's all right, it's okay!

- It's all right, it's okay!

- We can beat 'em anyway!

- We can beat 'em anyway!

Okay, the zone's not working.

They're a little bit too good

to cover man to man,

and we can't shoot for sh*t.

What kind of talk is that

for a coach, huh?

- Yeah, Trip.

- Look, I'm not gonna lie to you guys.

There's no way

we're gonna beat this team.

- What are we gonna do, Trip?

- We're gonna lose.

What?

But we can lose with some self-respect.

And here's the idea.

- Go, North Star, go!

- Go, North Star, go!

- Go, North Star, go!

- Go, North Star, go!

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