Meet the Blacks Page #8

- I think I do remember this.

- Yes, you remember me...

and tonight you gonna pay

with your narrow ass.

You got the bouncy house,

you got the card trick.

You got the Platinum

Party Package deal.

Yes, you got it all,

and you never paid.

I got the Platinum

Party Package Deal?

You know you got it,

Carl Black...

and then you gave me

this fake number...

to call you for an invoice,

and there was nothing.

Let me tell you something,

James Clown from the jumpies.

I don't give a f***

where you from.

That's my motherfucking son...

and I'd die for his ass.

- Really?

- Really.

Leg shot!

- I got fired because of you.

- No, no you didn't.

You should have had

the damn party...

on the first or the 15th

of the month, that's what.

Goddamn rotten little kids of yours.

They threw pies at me.

I don't know where they get

those goddamn pies.

- Yeah, they ain't worth a damn.

- I never seen a pit bull with a perm.

Your mother's so ugly,

when she turns around...

she make Right Guard make a left,

and make Secret a rumor, motherf***er.

Hey, man, your breath

smell like adult toys.

Motherf***er!

I want my money!

Give me my money now,

Carl Black.

Take your motherfucking hands off

my motherfucking cousin, clown.

Don't make me

make you my b*tch, nigga.

You better recognize and realize.

Better not touch my dog.

Turn around right now

and tell him you sorry...

or I'll beat

your motherfucking ass.

I ain't scared to go back to jail, nigga.

I already did two years, nigga.

I know my number by heart.

643586 something, nigga.

- Tell him them numbers.

- F***'s wrong with you?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Leg shot.

I ain't even feel it.

I ain't even feel it.

Give me my money,

you dumb son of a b*tch.

You still got pieces

of ear in your teeth.

You're a low-down,

sucker, f***er, fake...

I'm gonna drill

your big-ass head.

No one messes

with Cronut's family!

You hear me?

Oh, my God,

you killed him!

- He's dead.

- Oh, my gosh!

- Oh, man.

- Sh*t. They gonna take me back to jail.

- I killed him.

- You done killed Venus Williams.

They gonna take me

back to jail, Carl!

- Sh*t.

- Cronut!

We gotta get out of this house.

Come on.

Told you!

Who can I snitch

on this time?

Oh, sh*t!

Carl Black?

Where you at?

Where's the keys

to the car?

They're right there

on that table.

Got get 'em.

Come on, Carl, man.

I just killed somebody, man.

I'm tired, man.

All that sh*t

you was talking?

Carl Black?

Are you dead, motherf***er?

Let me protect them.

I'll protect them.

- You go and get 'em.

- Yeah! Somebody gonna get purged tonight!

I got them. I got them.

You go get him.

Be careful, Daddy.

Be careful.

You stole that money and ran off

to California like I couldn't find you!

You took Key Flo's money,

and I need it back.

I need that money back--

I know you was wondering

who was coming down that chimney.

It ain't Santa Claus, b*tch.

Ho, ho, merry Christmas.

I'm about to give you

peace on Earth...

'cause I got the pieces

right here, motherf***er.

I came down your chimney,

I had to hold my breath.

All the way down, and do you know

how long I had to hold my stomach in...

to get through

that motherf***er?

Up on the rooftop

Click, click, click

I'm 'bout to shoot off

Carl Black's dick

Where you at, b*tch?

- Where you at?

- I don't even know you, man.

I see you, motherf***er.

Remember me?

I'm your parole officer, b*tch...

and I'm your P.O...

who is pissed the f*** off.

F*** you!

- Y'all run!

- You stole from Key Flo.

Your mama

snitched on you.

It's easy to get something

out of your mama...

when I gave her some Hennessey

and some of this dick!

If I throw a cheeseburger

on the ground...

you've got to make

a decision, big boy!

I got the keys,

fat motherf***er.

F*** you callin' me fat?

Yeah, I was just playing

with you, Carl Black.

Thinking about sending your punk ass

to jail, make you somebody's b*tch.

You my b*tch!

Now I got these

infrared beams out, pimp...

and they never miss.

Hey, Carl Black,

consider your ass...

purged!

I thought he shot me.

Sh*t.

It's a f***in' cardboard box.

What the f***?

God is good.

Precious is dead down here!

We killed Shamu!

Carl Black,

you punk b*tch...

I told you I'd be back.

Nigga, where are you?

I will f*** your wife.

Daddy!

- Carl!

- Take that thing off.

They tried

to kill me downstairs.

- They're trying to kill all of us, man.

- For real.

Why'd you leave him

down there alone?

Somebody had to be there to protect y'all.

I'd die for y'all.

I'm here for you,

and you!

Okay, okay,

listen, listen.

We got to get downstairs

and we got to get in that truck...

and get the f***

out of here, all right?

- Now.

- Let's go, man, you right.

- Yeah, let's do it.

- I need my weed and I need my money.

I promise I'ma give you everything

as soon as we get out of here.

You better.

Junior, come out from up under there.

- Come on, baby.

- Junior!

I'm not the one you want!

You want Carl Black!

Saw someone run

down the hall.

Cronut, Cronut, Cronut!

- Damn!

- Cronut, God damn.

Are we just gonna

leave him in there?

They got him.

That mean they got my damn money.

Cronut's going

to little man heaven.

Daddy, now is not the time.

They took his do-rag off.

You know he balded.

Oh, no.

Feels like

we in a goddamn horror movie.

- Okay, now, what's the rules?

- What are the rules?

- What rules?

- The scary movie rules.

Yeah, horror movie rules.

We gotta do the sh*t

that white people don't do.

- Survive?

- No.

Let's get out of here quicker

than a cat can lick its ass.

Carl Black?

I came to purge you.

Come on, you b*tch-ass nigga!

I'm going

to blow-dart your ass.

Scary movie, scary movie.

Texas Chainsaw...

- Friday the 13th...

- Gonna get you, suckers.

- No...

- Carl's Jr., you're not helping.

I'm trying.

Okay, Halloween,

Laurie Strode...

Jamie Lee Curtis,

in her breakout role.

- Escapes from Michael Myers.

- What does she do?

She stabs him in the eye

and pushes him out the window.

Come on out,

Sofia Vergara.

Of course, he's not dead.

He comes back again and again and again,

becoming an undead

killing machine.

So, basically, what I'm saying

is, we're going to die.

- We're all going to die.

- You gonna die! If you keep talking!

- Just talking about scary--

- Shut up! Who got a belt?

Okay, okay!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'll tear your ass up

in the middle of this purge.

- Can '2' run from us now!

- Quit trying to help!

Smells like black chicken.

I'm gonna go get

the black one!

- Told you.

- You can '2' hide forever!

Carl's Jr!

Carl!

I'm just gonna go

get him, okay?

All right.

Look, this is my fault.

When I came with all them scams

and all that different stuff.

I was just trying to give my family

a better life, okay?

- I know.

- And now people getting killed and sh*t.

- Damn.

- Come out, come out wherever you are!

I hope you forgive me.

I forgive you for it.

I love you.

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