Meet the Blacks Page #9

You lied, Mr. Black...

- so I'm here to purge you, Carl.

- Go, go, go, go.

Carl, careful.

If you want me,

come and get me.

Carl, you lied to me

on your application!

Nobody has a credit score

of 45,000!

Carl, your family and you

don't belong here.

I invited some of your friends

from Chicago.

Turns out

you owe everyone money.

- Why you doing this to me?

- You were born.

We don't want you

in this neighborhood, Willis.

Next thing you know,

try to buy my son some Air Jordans...

they're gone.

Now my son's gotta wear

New Balance.

Then your kids...

are gonna wanna have sex

with my kids...

and we got

a bunch of kids...

Paula Pattons

running around the neighborhood.

Man, f*** Nick Cannon!

What's Nick Cannon got to do

with this sh*t?

I don't know!

I'm rambling.

I have never been inside

this home.

The crown molding

is amazing.

This would be

a great house to live in.

Or a great house

to die in!

Tell you what, Carl.

Consider this home

a swamp...

and I'm the alligator.

Chomp, chomp.

About to bite that ass.

Han Solo's dead.

Spoiler alert.

The little one,

he escaped!

We have to find him now...

that little Kevin Hart.

Weird, cap-looking b*tch.

One down, five to go.

Carl's Jr?

Carl's Jr.

Carl's Jr.

- Damn it.

- Okay.

Okay, all right,

all right, all right.

Allie, stop crying, okay?

Nobody's gonna kill us, okay?

We are not gonna

get purged in here.

We are the Blacks,

do you understand?

- Who are we?

- We're the Blacks.

- Okay.

- Is this 911?

No, 211.

Yes, my name...

My name

is Carl Lawrence Black.

Stop breathing

so hard, motherf***er.

I'm not selling ass.

We have to go

into the shower...

...together.

I don't wanna be gay.

Not like that.

- You go first.

- You go first.

- He's your brother.

- This is your house.

Fine.

I need you to send some help

over here right now...

'cause if you don't,

I'ma kill myself!

Well, nigga, go ahead!

Kill yourself.

I don't give a f***.

Allie, look at me.

We can do this, okay?

We're not gonna die here,

all right?

- You really do love us, Lorena.

- Of course I do.

What do you think I'm doing

all this crazy sh*t for?

- I thought you was a ho.

- God.

All right.

Allie.

All right, one,

point the light that way...

- Okay.

- and let's go.

Okay.

Okay.

All right, let's go.

Man, I'm a black man

in Beverly Hills.

- I got a 310 number.

- Nigga, you don't move your black ass...

out them white people's house.

They're gonna f*** you up, man!

Get out, nigga!

Hello?

Hello!

Hello?

Hey!

- Hey!

- Sh*t.

I'm gonna purge

your ass tonight, yeah.

Gonna purge

your ass tonight.

Gonna purge your--

What y'all b*tches doing

in my mansion on purge night?

- Your mansion?

- Did I stutter?

My mansion!

If you're here, okay,

to purge my husband Carl...

Your husband?

Carl, your husband?

Baby, I could write a book...

on the sh*t

you don't know.

- Allie, who is this?

- I don't know.

Talk to Shoranda.

I'm listening.

We don't know

who you are, b*tch.

- Who the f*** are you?

- Who the f*** are you?

- Shut the f*** up!

- She has a cleaver!

I will chop them

f***ing brains out, b*tch.

Okay, okay, okay,

wait, wait, wait.

Miss, what do you want?

I came to get

my husband back...

Carl Black.

- Your husband?

- Yes.

My husband

that you stole from me.

He belongs to Shoranda.

Shoranda Black, b*tch.

Oh, my God,

I do remember her.

- From where?

- She gave my daddy a ride...

and he got

a restraining order against her.

And I made that fool a pie.

He doesn't like pie.

He loves this pie, boo.

- Hey!

- She's a stalker.

Don't play with me.

I will slit

your f***ing throat.

Hey!

Let's purge, b*tch.

Lorena!

Stop it!

Girl, he's not your man.

He's a liar,

but he's my liar.

He's my liar, too, b*tch!

- Big Shoranda.

- Slam it over her head.

F*** it--

You done hit me

on my goddamn back!

Carl's Jr!

Oh, my gosh.

You did it.

You did it!

- Are you okay?

- Yeah, I was hiding over there, Mom.

- You called me mom.

- Yeah, is that okay?

Yes.

- Oh, my God. Allie, are you okay?

- I'm fine.

- Thank you, Lorena.

- You're welcome.

All right, listen, guys.

We have to go out there...

Why are you taking

your shirt off?

...and get your dad, okay?

- No more hiding, Junior, okay?

- Okay, okay.

All right,

let's stick together, okay?

Okay"

Okay"

- Let's go.

- You did it, Blacula.

- Crazy b*tch.

- Hey!

We gotta get out

of this house.

We gotta get out of here!

Carl, come on, man.

Come out!

In another neighborhood,

we could've been friends.

I saw Django.

I was glad Jamie Foxx

killed all those people.

I would've never

put your wife in a box...

in the backyard.

That was bullshit.

F***ers.

- White power.

- White power.

You motherfuckers think

you can come here on Purge night?

Welcome to the Beverly Hills

Ku Klux Klan, motherfuckers.

Amen!

You think you can come

into my neighborhood...

straight out of Compton...

waving your hands

in the motherfucking air...

like you just don't care...

This look like

the Oscars.

Oh, my God.

- You guys are about to die!

- Please, white nigga.

- Please take me with you, please.

- No.

- I want the same outfit.

- I got a chair right here...

waiting for your friend,

Mr. Carl Black.

Yeah, motherf***er.

I'm in the Klan, too.

White nigga, listen to me.

I'm on your side.

I will take one of them sheets

right now and work with you...

and kill

these niggas together.

Please don't kill us both.

Just kill him.

He's the reason

why we're even in America.

- White power.

- We wouldn't have been on that boat...

- if it wasn't for him.

- Shut the f*** up.

- White power.

- How do you think they got here?

My great-grandfather

sold these niggas to y'all.

- White power.

- They also brought Ebola.

- F*** you.

- F*** you, you "10 cents a day."

- You guys are confusing me!

- F*** you!

- White power!

- Where the f*** is Larry?

- Please.

- White power.

- Larry, where the f*** have you been?

- White power.

Tom, this is a black!

- What the hell?

- Yeah!

- White power.

- I am black.

Carl Black.

Take that now.

Yeah. Yeah!

Get on the ground

with that.

- White power!

- White power!

You want some

of this sh*t, too?

Oh, damn!

- What the f*** is this?

- White power.

- Looks like an M&M.

- Big, black nigga d*cks...

and big, black balls.

- Hey!

- Big, wide, juicy white p*ssy.

- Damn!

- What the f***?

- God damn it.

- What the f***...?

Come on,

let's get out of here.

- You see anything?

- Let's gel' out of here!

- All right, guys.

- Are we gonna die?

No, baby.

We're just gonna go find your father.

We have to go downstairs,

though, okay?

I wanna go home.

- Allie, I know, baby.

- Where are we going?

We have to go downstairs

and find your father.

- Downstairs?

- We can't go downstairs!

Guys, we have to.

Come on, come on.

Let's go, fast.

Come on.

Carl!

Okay, come on.

Carl!

- Oh, my God.

- Hey!

I never thought I'd say this,

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