Melinda and Melinda Page #7

l thought about killing his girlfriend.

Maryanne was her name.

Maryanne Lane.

And it was...

lt was so easy buying a gun.

l just drove out of state

and l walked into a store and l bought one.

There were no questions asked.

l bought a box of bullets and l loaded it

like l'd been handling one my whole life.

lt was all very premeditated,

despite what my attorneys

would have everyone believe.

And then l

drove back to where he worked.

lt was next to a Christian Science

reading room. l remember that.

And l just waited out the front

for him to come out.

And even that wasn't very difficult.

There was a slight drizzle, l remember that,

but the wait wasn't interminable.

And then

when he came out and walked to his car,

l simply confronted him.

And he said some

very cold and cruel things to me,

and l shot Mr San Giuliano

as l had planned to.

As l had planned.

Well, they must have felt the circumstances

were extenuating if you got off so lightly.

lt may seem lightly to you,

but it was nothing but hell.

And if you've never been arrested and put

on trial, well, that alone is sentence enough.

The horror, the...

the tension, the police, the journalists...

l went over my story hundreds of times -

the jilted mother, seduced away

from her family, sick on drugs,

the struggle for the gun, the gun goes off.

But there was no struggle.

That was legal fiction.

Well, you had good lawyers.

Not like your child custody team.

l rememberjust lying

in my cell at night and thinking,

''My God.''

''You are Melinda Nash from Park Avenue.''

''What the hell are you doing

in a women's prison in lllinois?''

So, naturally, after l got out

l decided to end it all.

What do you want?

l want to want to live.

Everybody wants to live.

Now that l met you,

l'm feeling a little more positive about it.

Congratulate me. l just got canned.

My version differs from theirs. They would

have you believe l couldn't hold my liquor,

which anyone who knows me

knows is a baseless canard.

Lee, l knew this would happen.

You did? Well, why didn't you tell me?

l'm angry and disgusted.

l mean, Christ, can you blame them?

Thank you for the emotional support.

l'll see you around.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- You all right? You seem a little glum.

- Lee got fired.

What happened?

lt was the producer.

They'd always wanted a name.

- They got nervous cos ticket sales were slow.

- l'm sorry.

- l know the realities of the marketplace.

- Yeah. So, what are you gonna do?

l don't know if l should feel sorry for myself

or shop to blot out my depression.

- Neither. Come with us.

- With you?

Sure. l'm taking Melinda

to a recording session. Bartk.

- No...

- lt'll take your mind off things.

- You love Bartk. They're doing a quartet.

- You remembered?

- Come on.

- Do l have time to change?

- You look fine. Look at me.

- l feel so grungy. l've been working all day.

- All right, but hurry, then we'll get a coffee.

- OK.

- lt's beautiful, isn't it?

- They're so good.

l could never decide between the piano and

the cello. The result is l play them both badly.

- And the viola.

- l heard you play the piano. You're good.

- No.

- Yes.

Full of feeling.

You have a lovely touch of the keys.

l can see a person's soul

by their intonation on an instrument -

- keyboard, horn or strings. l can. lt's a gift.

- You saw my soul?

Right off the bat. That first party,

when you sat down next to me to play,

the minute you touched the keys

the chord went through me like a knife.

l don't dare ask you what you saw.

lt's great.

Although l find

the more turbulent parts a little scary.

- He's still not home.

- Come to dinner with us.

- No, l can't.

- Come on. lt's gonna be fun.

We'll go down to this little bistro downtown

west. lt's very quiet, very dark, very French.

- l haven't been to a dark bistro since college.

- You'll love it. l've fallen in love there.

No more for me.

- Melinda was the fast, advanced one.

- Come on.

All the men were crazy for her.

They were drawn to her.

Her unpredictability.

No, Laurel was the star of our group.

l remember how jealous everyone was

when you married Lee.

Lee was the most attractive,

most charismatic actor.

My God. You almost broke Cassie's heart,

not that she'd ever admit it.

Forgive me. Am l being too open here?

lt's just l feel great.

- What is this?

- lt's a Haut-Brion.

My head is swimming. But it feels good.

You were the first one in our group to sleep

with a man. You were so very sophisticated.

- l admired it. l did.

- Yeah, well, it was probably true.

- l had a deep hunger for physical intimacy.

- A hunger that could not be denied.

Not once adolescence descended

and the hormones kicked in.

Melinda had a reputation

for being postmodern in bed.

Life is short. That was a sobering discovery

l made when my mother killed herself.

Short, and not about anything except

what you can touch and what touches you.

Whereas l...

l've only made love with one man in my life.

Lee was the first

and Lee was the whole story ever since.

That's perfect. No, l mean it.

l think there's something almost mystical

about two people who only know each other.

And, really, you're both very alike.

You know, you're both very,

very passionate women.

You're poured into one person, and you've

wanted to live out different experiences.

- ls that you?

- No.

No, l think it's me.

So, l got a message.

That was Peter.

l think he's got some news about my children.

- Would you excuse me for a minute?

- Yeah, go ahead.

l was determined not to ask you

what you saw when you looked

right through to my soul when we met.

But l wanna know.

Something very clouded

and

protective,

with lots of longing. There was...

Wow, there was a great longing

in the notes you played.

That's as accurate a diagnosis as a shrink

would make. lt took you a much shorter time.

You sat down and pressed the keyboard,

and l thought, ''Who is this lovely creature

with the melancholy touch on the keyboard?''

Then l saw your wedding ring,

and l thought, you know, story of my life.

ls that the story of your life?

Well, it's the main chapters.

My first impression was,

he's handsome,

he's lost,

he's got inscrutable eyes...

Melinda would like him.

Speaking of Melinda.

l don't dare say this, but it looks hopeful.

God.

l almost wish this opportunity

hadn't come up, you know.

l just don't know

if l can handle the tension.

l mean...

- Just say it doesn't work out.

- lt will. You have to think positively.

She's right. You were correct when you said

that life is short and not about anything,

but one thing l do know is that we were not

put on this Earth to be dragged all the time.

We should go.

l was hoping that you could come by my

class one afternoon and lecture the students.

- lt would be so meaningful to them.

- l'd love to.

l'm a good lecturer. l just hope

l'm not a better lecturer than a composer.

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