Melinda and Melinda Page #8

- You're home.

- l'm sorry, Laurel.

l really messed things up.

Yes, well, you really have

to get a handle on your drinking.

Yes. And l will.

Of course, now the boat sailed.

- Made you some dinner.

- l ate.

Where were you?

l had some late meetings at school.

- l don't know what to do.

- And you're sure?

- Yes. lt was there in his talk, in his eyes.

- And you flirted back?

Yes. l was outta control,

letting him know l was there for him.

God. Poor Melinda.

l don't wanna hear about poor Melinda.

Other people's lives are falling apart.

Peter and l suspected

it was not going well with Lee.

Does everyone? Am l gossiped about?

God, that poor girl.

- Don't worry. l'm not gonna do anything.

- You already have.

lf you get divorced, there'll be lots of men.

Peter and l can help.

No. l'm not gonna be the pathetic single

friend getting introduced to some dentist.

You're gonna act on this. l see it.

l don't know what to do.

l can't stop thinking about Melinda.

She just knocked on our door

carrying her neurosis in her arms.

- Now l can't get her out of my mind.

- Come on. You're married.

l know. l know that. l'm consumed with guilt.

l dream of myself kissing Melinda.

- Then l'm on trial at Nuremberg.

- How does Melinda feel?

l haven't been able to tell her that.

The subject of infidelity's out of the question.

- You don't know if she feels the same?

- No, l think she does.

l just haven't had a chance to pursue it.

l mean, Walt, here's the thing.

My marriage has been on the decline

for a long time.

We hardly ever sleep together.

The last time we did

Susan just lay there staring into the darkness

as if her parents had been killed in a fire.

Well, why can't you just tell her

it's not working any more?

l don't wanna hurt her. l couldn't fire my

podiatrist who operated on my wrong foot.

Maybe you should go back to your shrink.

He'd just recommend Prozac.

l think he has stock in the company.

- Maybe you're using Susan as an excuse.

- No.

Yes. Maybe you don't even really wanna do it.

No, cos if there was a button l could push to

be with Melinda but not hurt Susan, l'd do it.

Tell me this. How wise is it to get involved

with a woman with Melinda's track record?

That's why l'm convinced l'm in love with her,

because there's no logical reason to be.

- Be a man. Be honest with Susan.

- l don't know...

That's what you have to do!

Be honest with her. She'll live, you'll live.

Then you go out,

you buy Melinda a nice little bauble -

l heard her say that she likes Art Deco -

- take her out, confess your feelings.

- You sure?

- Yeah. That's the way.

- This is gonna crush Susan.

How you doin'?

The Deco pin there.

- How much is that?

- That's $150.

- Could you giftwrap that for me?

- Yes, of course.

l wish l could be with Melinda

without hurting my wife.

- Hobie, what are you doing here?

- Now, don't get upset.

Hobie, l think you should know that Steve

and l have become attracted to one another.

- You have?

- lf you punch me in the nose, l'd understand.

He came here to be with me while l told you.

You have to admit,

things have run out of steam between us.

l just... Try to understand.

l do.

l think we've been drifting a...

Wait. You do understand?

l do. Most definitely.

You're having an affair with Steve Walsh.

He's wonderful. He's clever.

He's smart. He's fabulously wealthy.

l know. l just want you to know

l don't want anything.

l know how tough

your work has been for you,

and we've decided Steve

is just gonna help with all the legal expenses,

and l just want everything to be

as painless and as civilised as possible.

You know, l think that

we can always be friends.

Melinda. Hobie.

Can you meet me for a few minutes?

There's something l'm dying to tell you

when you get off work.

You know that little French bistro

on the corner of Tenth Avenue?

The little candlelightjoint,

near where you work.

Are you sure you should be drinking

so much without having any lunch?

Well, we worked through lunch.

l was doing a voice-over commercial.

lt's not what l envisioned

when l was at Northwestern.

They still talk about

my portrayal of King Lear.

l played it with a limp.

How are you liking the job at the gallery?

Well, my boss is great.

- She has amazing taste.

- Good.

l mean, it's not a very high-paying job,

but it's fantastic

cos l have plenty of time

to think about what l wanna do with my life.

Well, l'm glad you said that.

God, you look very pretty in this candlelight.

l'm sure anyone would look amazing

with all this flickering shadows

and all the wine you're drinking.

Right. Right. Well, l'm drinking

because life moves so fast.

So unpredictably.

You know, it's over so fast

and in the end, what is it?

Chekhov said a soap bubble.

Did l tell you l played Uncle Vanya once?

With a limp. lt was interesting.

You know, it's funny

that you should say ''unpredictable'',

because l was walking home yesterday.

l have to tell you this story.

So, some people were moving

into an apartment on 90th Street.

And they were moving this piano,

so there was this piano just, you know,

sitting in the middle of the sidewalk.

And l couldn't resist the temptation

just to go up and give it a little tinkle.

l play a little piano.

l used to play in high school.

l actually gave some concerts.

Anyway, l'm playing this piano. l'm playing

this little tune that my mother taught me.

And this...

this guy came up

and started talking to me.

- Hi.

- Hi.

That's good.

- You play the melody.

- All right.

ls that what you're trying for?

- Exactly.

- Good.

So, his name is Billy Wheeler,

and he's a piano player.

And he also writes pretty music.

And he walked me back to my apartment

and he invited me out on a date.

And

l think l'm in love.

- ln love?

- Well, l mean, l'm exaggerating, of course,

but some bell definitely went off.

- A bell?

- One of those bells that now and then rings,

as Mr Cole Porter put it. So, anyway, l just

thought that you would be pleased to know.

So, what is it that you wanted to tell me?

l don't... lt doesn't matter.

OK. This situation is perfect -

he's despondent, he's desperate, he's suicidal.

All the comic elements are in place.

Now she's going out with Billy Wheeler,

and Hobie's the single upstairs neighbour.

Now she's fixing him up.

We must know somebody for Hobie.

- The woman who owns your art gallery?

- Phoebe's married.

l don't need to meet anyone.

l'm fine just staying in my room and...

And what? Moping?

Get out and reinvest your emotion.

Don't indulge your depression.

- Hey. Stacey Fox. Why not?

- Who?

She recently broke up with some Wall

Street guy. She's bright and great-looking.

- What does she do?

- lnvestment.

One of those business suits

who makes love to you on a conference call.

She's no stereotype. She posed for a feature

for Playboy on naked political conservatives.

Well, uh, l don't know if that's his type.

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