Men, Money & Gold Diggers Page #2

unbuttoned just like that.

Really...

Well, I'm Lionel, Trina.

Okay, well, you

'bout to be dinner

if you don't cover

up this entre.

I'm sorry, my bad.

I thought I was working

here alone today.

Yeah, Okay.

- Well, you 're lucky I don't bite you.

- Really?

I don't have a

problem with that.

Long as you don't mind

if I bite you back.

Ooh, you better tame

yourself, Mr. Wild Kingdom,

before this turns

into an episode

of When Animals

Attack up in here.

Oh, really...

Really?

You mean something like this.

So what are you, Caleb's frat brother...

Business partner?

Oh, no... The plumber.

Ooh, you pushing a

Hummer, that's what up!

You got the H2, the H3?

What you pushing?

The H2O, as in water.

I'm his plumber, baby...

Plumber?

Ah, hell, you ain't

got no money.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Why do you say that?

I mean, I don't do too bad.

Yeah, you don't do too

good either, sweetie.

Mm-mm... No.

I can't believe you

brought me on national TV

to tell me you wanted me

to sign a prenup.

I was with you when

you had nothing, Caleb.

Yeah, but Baby,

when I had nothing,

I still had more than half

the people out there.

You didn't meet me on

the street corner, Paisley.

We met on an exclusive getaway

cruise to Trinidad.

Okay, I was on that cruise too.

How you think I got there?

Uh, the other dude?

The other... Look, point being...

I was trying to get away from

one heartbreak

and it feels like all I'm doing

is running into another one.

Baby, that dude didn't do

nothing but wine and dine

his way into your heart.

He iced you so much that

he left you frozen in place.

But I was the one who

defrosted you, baby.

You was cold and depressed.

I was the one who put the

warmth back into your life.

I'm feeling a chill up

in here right now.

- Chill out, please.

- That's corny.

Chill the hell out.

Bobby might not have been

the best man for me...

See, now, now, why

you gotta mention his name?

See, I didn't say his name.

I said "that dude."

But no, you had

to go and say Bobby.

How you gonna disrespect me in

my crib like that, Paisley?

- Come on.

- Do you hear yourself?

Your crib?

Your life?

Your money.

At least Bobby shared more with

me than what he had to offer

in the bedroom.

Offering in the bedroom...

This ain't about sex.

Yeah, but most of

the time it is though.

- Uh, Lionel...

- I'm gonna check on the leak though.

Let me get the leak.

Paisley.

It's just a formality, baby.

It's like, it's like when

Dedra has to sign forms

for me at work.

Gosh.

Dedra?

See, uh-huh,

read him girl.

Let him have it...

Let him know.

Do not compare me to your

little corporate mistress.

Oh, don't start with that.

Please.

Dedra and I are

strictly business,

just like this prenup, baby.

I told you, no they not.

No, they not, no, they

not, no, they not.

They're not business,

they're not nothing.

Listen, Caleb.

A man with money is wonderful,

but a six-figure man with a $2

heart isn't worth a dime to me.

That's right, girl.

If you want to participate,

set him straight!

How about you

relocate out my house?

Baby, can you please get Gangsta

Boo here to go somewhere else?

Gangsta Boo?

Trina James is 100%

a super modern,

classy kind of chick, okay?

Check yourself.

I'm sorry, but ain't nothing

classy about a woman

who screams out

in the middle of a sermon,

"You better preach, nooka."

Um, I was hyping him up.

Preachers love that.

No, rappers love that.

Listen, Paisley,

I'm about to go.

I've been kicked

out of better places.

Little man over here is always

asking somebody to leave,

standing in

somebody's business.

I told you before.

I told you once,

I told you twice.

He's jealous of our friendship.

Man, sound like you got more

problems around here

to worry about

than just your plumbing.

Nah, man, ain't got

no problems.

A woman is just

like a boomerang.

You know how to toss her right,

she always come back around,

you know?

Yeah, well, maybe you

need to check your technique.

Looks like she done lost

her sense of direction.

Hey, I pay you to repair

my cribs, not my relationships.

How much do I owe you?

You're right... You know what?

After seeing what I seen today,

this one's on the house, bro.

- Thank you.

- All right, man.

Why you always gotta

put her down like that?

Because birds of a feather

flock together.

And I don't want

her gangsta booness

rubbing off on you, baby.

Look, I mean, I'm moving

up in the corporate world

and I need my woman, my wife...

Hmm.

To uphold a certain image.

What image?

You know, soccer mom.

Charity functions.

Company picnics.

The corporate life

of a corporate wife.

You know, the heads of the firm

are real strict about this

wholesome image thing.

Mmm, I see.

Well, you know, I think

that you forgot to tell them

that your fiance is a vixen.

- Vixen?

- Mm-hmm.

You trying to get it started?

You trying to... Oh, baby,

wait, wait, wait, wait.

You need... no, I

gotta stay focused now.

I'm nervous, okay?

Today is my first official

day as junior partner at Smith,

Jolly and Rancher.

How do I look, baby...

I'm looking good?

Watch me now.

Watch me...

This is my Denzel walk.

Mm, mm, mm.

Bam!

Look at this...

Bam!

That's for "Ebony" right there.

- And boom.

- What's that?

"Playgirl.."

You so crazy.

Crazy about you, baby.

Just give it some time, okay?

I just need to know that

you're with me for me

and not my money.

Caleb, this is my paradise.

I wouldn't do anything

to mess that up.

People change.

Paradises fade.

Prenups stay the same.

- I'll think about it.

- That's my girl.

That's what I'm talking about.

Let me see...

you know what?

Let me see if I can get

you to give me a yes.

Come here...

Come here.

Come here.

Mm, mm, come here.

Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.

Aw, you're adorable.

Thank you, baby.

I gotta get to work.

All this is for you.

You're the reason

I'm doing this now.

- All right?

- Have a great day.

Thank you, baby.

Executive assistant

to the junior partner.

Okay.

Okay, picture goes here.

Okay and this goes here.

All right.

Right there.

He'll need to sign this later.

Put it right there.

Okay.

All right.

Ooh.

Mmm, that is comfy.

This can't be that hard.

Smith, Jolly and Rancher,

this is Caleb Peterson speaking.

Oh, hey, Paisley, baby.

Oh, yes, I'll buy you a BMW.

Oh, yes, baby, of course

we can go to Paris.

Bam!

What?

No, we can't get married until

you sign that prenup, trick!

Maybe that's

how I should say it.

Sorry.

You scared me.

You obviously saw

the show this morning.

I did.

And, uh, as your assistant

who knows a lot about women,

Paisley's not going to

sign her life away.

Caleb, you want to date

these high-maintenance women

and you expect them

to be honorable.

Paisley's a good woman, Dedra.

Okay.

Good woman, huh?

That's, that's debatable.

And she's beautiful.

Men always say that.

You know Lionel

the janitor told me that

on the way in this morning?

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