Men in Black 3 Page #4

- My man, what's today?

- Tuesday.

- The date?

- The 15th.

- Of?

- July.

- Dog, the year.

- 1969.

Thank you.

Look at me like I'm crazy.

MAN 1:

Far out.

Jerry rocked Haight-Ashbury

like you wouldn't believe.

MAN:

Okay, we're here.

- Happy?

WOMAN:
You're such a pill, Fred.

FRED:
Get us checked in.

WOMAN:
Yeah, yeah.

Hey. Hey, do me a favor, all right?

- Be careful with the luggage.

- Absolutely, sir.

FRED:
I paid a lot of

money for that luggage.

BELLBOY:
We'll take good care...

FRED:
Last time, it got scuffed up.

Here you go, sir.

Just call down when you need it.

There's more in the trunk.

Uh, yeah, it'll be in your room, sir.

Just go in.

BELLBOY:
Excuse me.

Excuse me, who is that?

Who are you?

# Bell Flight 14, you now #

# Can land #

[HONKING]

Let's go!

# Safe on the green desert sand #

[GIRLS LAUGHING]

# It's so very lonely #

# You're 2000 light-years #

# From home # #

Far out, man!

If you want to keep that,

I wouldn't.

Make love, not war.

I prefer to do both.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

[SIREN WAILING]

How are you, officers?

What can I do you for?

Well, look at this.

Power windows, power seats.

- I'll bet you it cost 6 grand.

- Yeah.

Uh, yes, and it has a roof,

but it's hidden.

Hey, what kind of work

do you do?

An individual of your

particular ethnic persuasion?

- Mm...

COP:
Maybe he's a noted athlete.

Mm.

Yes. Uh... Starting forward

for the Detroit Darkies.

- Where'd you get the car?

- And the suit?

I stole them both.

Uh, car from your wife,

suit from your grandmother.

[GRUNTS]

Hey.

What do we have here?

Concealed weapon?

Hey, it's his grandmother's suit.

- Hey, what's this?

- Probably drugs.

I have rights

and I demand to see my lawyer

before you press that small button

on the side firmly.

Press it.

That, gentlemen,

is a standard-issue neuralyzer.

You're not gonna remember that.

And just because you see

a black man driving a nice car

does not mean it's stolen.

I stole that one.

But not because I'm black.

I'll be done

with the car in a minute!

Just find it and take it back

to the jerk at the Roosevelt Hotel.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Where is the Archanan?

MAN:

You are too late.

He is going to give the humans

the Arc Net.

Let's agree to disagree.

[CHIRPS]

[GRUNTS THEN THUDS]

[WOMAN SCREAMING]

[THUMPING]

We'll take it from here.

K?

K! K! Aah!

[WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY

OVER PA]

ALIEN:

Dad, I'm on Earth.

I need bail.

[ALIEN GROWLING]

WOMAN [OVER PA]:
Will the owner

of a blue warp-speed cruiser

please report to the front desk.

You need to turn the electricity

down on that damn thing.

Can't taste my fricking tongue, K.

How do you know my name?

What? Because I called you "K"?

No, I call everybody K.

It's kind of my thing.

What up, K?

All right, I sort of...

[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

Yeah, that's kind of my thing.

I just... Uh, some people like it.

Most people.

Now that I know what you look like

when you're lying, show me

what you look like

when you're telling the truth?

I won those at Coney Island

on the ring toss.

I won a stuffed bear once,

but never one of these.

Must be good, slick.

All right, sir,

I was minding my own business.

I was waiting for my girl,

who, by the way,

is probably worried sick

looking for me right now.

So I just need my things

and I need to get back to her.

What's her name?

Huh?

Your gal, what's her name?

Schtaron.

Schtaron?

I bet Schtaron

likes that suit of yours. Hm?

What, it's a crime

to wear a black suit?

All right, listen.

I haven't done anything wrong.

And I need to get out of here.

I cannot be with you.

Terribly sorry. X is frightfully upset

about the whole Coney Island incident.

Thanks for the heads-up.

Oh, man, this coffee tastes like dirt.

- What do you expect? It was...

J:
Just ground this morning.

O?

No, I call ladies "O."

To me, O is feminine,

K is masculine.

You know, I see a couple,

I'm like, "O-K."

What a mess.

Any casualties?

Yes, Roman the Fabulist.

Any human casualties?

No, sir.

Who the hell is this?

Look, I was...

- Stray human caught in the net.

- Code 43 him and throw him back.

You're late for a meeting

with the Viagrans.

They have a revolutionary new pill.

It's really...

Okay, slick.

I was waiting for my girl.

Schtaron.

Yes, she's Greek.

Okay. Just one last thing.

An eye exam.

That's not an eye exam, K.

That's a big-ass neuralyzer!

You have a lot of information for

a fella who doesn't know anything.

J:

I see what you're saying.

Whoa. You know, K,

we need to hold up a second.

K!

TECHNICIAN:

Let's get this bite guard in here.

Hey, back up, back up.

K, listen, I think we got off

on the wrong foot, all right?

So let's just stop for a second

and talk.

Don't put me in here, K!

Too late, hoss.

K, no, listen to me.

I can help you with this case!

K!

I'm doing the truth face!

You're missing it!

Ah, I'll just use my imagination.

J:

K, the killer

you're looking for, I'm after

the same guy. A Boglodite.

His name is Boris.

Ship has sailed, amigo.

J:

If we don't get him, there'll be two.

You had my undivided attention.

J:

One will have one arm

and one's gonna have two. K!

Listen to me!

If you erase me,

you erase the world!

COMPUTERIZED VOICE:

Fifteen seconds

to neuralyzation. Fourteen.

Thirteen. Twelve.

Eleven. Ten. Nine.

When you see Boris tomorrow, K,

kill him. Do not arrest him, kill him!

Four. Three. Two.

[BELL RINGS]

Is this thing off?

Hey, I don't think it's all the way off, K!

It's whirring and buzzing.

I don't know if I don't know nothing.

I knew Roman.

His wife cooked me dinner once.

While it was not pleasant,

he was my friend.

Last chance, who are you

and what do you know?

I'm an agent

from the future.

We're partners.

In 25 years, you'll recruit me,

and 14 years after that,

the guy you didn't let me kill today

escapes from prison,

jumps to the past

and unleashes an invasion of Earth.

We got about 19 hours to kill him,

so, really,

we need to go right now.

[SIGHING]

All right.

So that's the story you believe.

That one was the truth.

Wasn't the whole truth,

but it'll do for now.

What are you talking about?

Of course it's the whole truth.

The problem with a lie is once

you start lying you put yourself...

[SIGHS]

X:

Agent K.

What's he still doing here?

I might have cooked him too long.

Thought I'd walk him out.

I put my pants on.

Okay, future man, where to?

I don't know.

What do you mean?

I don't know. Uh...

Go wherever you went last time.

I haven't been here.

I didn't tell you where I went?

No. I mean, we don't really talk.

What kind of partners sit in a car

every day for 14 years and don't talk?

Exactly. And this is the type

of problem it causes.

It's dysfunctional.

All right, sport, you better get useful

real quick or you go back in room 43.

Man...

Uh... The, uh...

There was something in the file

about a factory.

Something happened at a factory.

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