Men in Black II Page #2

going through passport control?

That'd be my fault. I'm very sorry.

Please don't neuralyze me, sir.

- What the hell's that supposed to mean?

- Nothing, sir.

Good work in the subway.

- I remember Jeff when he was yea high.

- What you got for me?

Look. See those guys in black suits?

- They work here. We got it covered.

- Zed, what you got?

Dedication's one thing, but this job

will eat you up and spit you out.

You want to look like me

when you hit 50...

...ish?

I'll be in the gym if you need me.

All right, there was a killing earlier.

Alien-on-alien.

Take Tee with you

and make a report.

Tee. Right.

Tee. Right.

What happened,

what happened with Tee...

What happened,

what happened with Tee...

What happened,

what happened with Tee...

Passports. No rush.

How they hanging, Jay?

Passports. No rush.

How they hanging, Jay?

You have got to stop neuralyzing

MiB personnel.

He was crying

in the middle of the diner.

I hate that.

And plus, you can't count Elle.

She wanted to go back to the morgue.

I helped her.

- You need a partner.

- I'm cool.

I'll be his partner.

Jay, wait up.

I appreciate the shot, man.

- Thought I'd never get out.

- Lose the suit.

Sure thing.

Just going for the look.

But if I say so myself,

I find it slimming.

Not that I've had problems

with the ladies.

When you get down to...

Nice sled, very swank.

Heated seats? Sometimes I get hives.

Frank!

Bring your head in this window

before I roll it up in there.

Got it.

Frank!

My money? It's missionary.

I was in the Bowery,

and I meet this Great Dane.

A little thick in the body,

but pretty.

That's just not appealing to me, man.

Seriously.

I say we do the good cop,

bad cop thing.

You interrogate the witness

and I growl.

How about we do the good cop,

dumb dog thing, and you just shut up?

You got it, partner.

Total silence.

Absolute quiet. Not a word out of me.

What do we got?

- What do we got?

- There's residue on the wall.

- We sent samples to Em for analysis.

- Hey, 0% body fat.

- Funny.

- Witness?

Girl. Saw everything.

She's taking it well.

I won't answer any more questions.

I want to know what happened here.

- I'll handle this one.

- You got it.

Alone. A talking dog might be

a bit much for her now.

What do you want me to do?

Sniff around.

What?

Funny.

Take a deep breath.

Everything is all right.

What part is she supposed

to feel all right about?

I'm Agent Jay.

Tell me what you saw.

- A two-headed guy and a woman.

- Caucasian?

Gray, with tentacles

that she used to rip...

His skin off.

It's not skin. It's protoplasma polymer

similar to the gum in baseball cards.

- What was the last thing you ate?

- Calzone.

- What time?

- Lunch.

- Spinach?

- Mushroom.

You need pie.

They kept asking Ben about a light.

They kept asking Ben about a light.

They kept asking Ben about a light.

They kept asking Ben about a light.

They kept asking Ben about a light.

Light of Zartha, something like that.

Light of Zartha, something like that.

Light of Zartha, something like that.

You okay?

An hour ago, a man I've known

my whole life vanished...

...because of a woman

with weird fingers...

...and a two-headed guy

with a cannoli's IQ.

So yeah, everything's okay.

When we're kids,

before we're taught how to think...

...our hearts tell us there is

something else out there.

I know what I saw.

Tell me what I'm supposed to believe.

I'm a member of a secret organization

that monitors alien activity on Earth.

Ben was an alien.

So were his killers.

I don't know why they did it,

but I promise I'm gonna find out.

Okay.

- Okay?

- Okay.

Okay.

- I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to...

- Kill me.

No!

Just a little flash and everything

goes back the way it was.

After you flash me...

...if I see you again,

will I know it's you?

I'll see you.

But you won't see me.

Must be hard.

Must be very lonely.

Excuse me.

- I gotta go.

- What about the flashing thing?

I'll flash you some other time.

What?

- Did you tell the girl you love her?

- She's a witness to a crime. That's it.

You're attracted. She's not my species,

and I'm attracted.

I should take advice on love

from a dude that chases his own ass?

Easy, pal. That's canine profiling,

and I resent it.

Hey, Jay, wait up.

Coming through. MiB brass.

Look sharp.

I'm Agent Eff, Jay's new partner.

Who are you eyeballing?

Frank, just cool out, dog.

- Got kids?

- No.

Want them?

Get him off me!

-Talk to me.

- It's Kylothian, class C.

Serleena.

-Serleena. Old girlfriend?

- She wishes.

The perps were looking

for the Light of...

- Zartha.

- Yeah, what is it?

This makes no sense.

It's not on Earth.

- We took care of this a long time ago.

- Obviously not.

That is very bad news.

The Zarthans came to Earth

to hide the Light from Serleena.

-We don't do that.

- Right. I ordered it off the planet.

Well, Zed...

I got a Kylothian class C in my park.

Are you sure this Light isn't here?

Positive. I gave the order.

My best agent carried it out.

- It's as if I gave it to you.

-Ask the agent.

- Can't.

-Dead?

Sort of. He works at the post office.

No.

If Serleena gets to Kay before we do,

he's dead.

The Earth's very existence

may rest on what Kay knows.

Too bad you wiped out

his memory of it.

Bring him in.

Now.

How cool is this? Going to get Kay.

The legend, the go-to guy.

Your mentor,

who taught you everything.

- The greatest agent in MiB history!

- Frank! Stop talking.

Stay.

Listen, partner.

I may look like a dog...

...but I only play one here on Earth.

- Whatever. Wipe your mouth.

- Hey, babe.

People of Truro,

may I kindly have your attention?

To facilitate your shipping needs...

...all packages must be

properly wrapped.

This one is an example of

"go home and do it again."

I think you know what I mean,

Mrs. Vigushin.

Brown paper and triple-twist twine

are the preferred media.

Thank you for your time.

- Kay.

- C. Express mail, two-day air.

Kevin.

Kevin. That's funny.

You don't have a " Kevin" ...

You don't remember.

We worked together.

I never worked in a funeral home.

Something I can do for you, slick?

Straight to the point.

You were an agent of an organization

that monitors aliens on Earth.

We're the Men in Black.

We have a situation. We need your help.

There is a free mental health clinic

on the corner of Lilac.

- Next.

- Excuse me.

- Twenty Rugrats stamps.

- Elizabeth.

The Postal Service hasn't kept up

with today's youth, but we have...

...Berlin airlift stamps.

Opera legends?

American Samoa?

Amish quilts.

I'm sorry, got a world to save here.

There was no coma.

It was a cover.

- Who are you?

- Who are you?

The postmaster of Truro, Massachusetts

and I'm ordering you to leave.

- Is that decaf?

- Sorry.

We have a breach.

Cordon off this area.

Full perimeter wipe-down,

right here, right now.

Get a mop and escort all civilian

personnel from this site immediately.

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