Men in Black II Page #3

Synopsis: Kay and Jay reunite to provide our best, last and only line of defense against a sinister seductress who levels the toughest challenge yet to the MIBs untarnished mission statement: protecting the earth from the scum of the universe. It's been four years since the alien-seeking agents averted an intergalactic disaster of epic proportions. And now it's a race against the clock as Jay must convince Kay-who not only has absolutely no memory of his time spent with the Men In Black, but is also the only living person left with the expertise to save the galaxy-to reunite with the MIB before the earth submits to ultimate destruction.
Director(s): Barry Sonnenfeld
Production: Columbia Pictures
  4 wins & 15 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.1
Metacritic:
49
Rotten Tomatoes:
39%
PG-13
Year:
2002
88 min
$190,400,000
Website
2,552 Views


Listen to yourself, Kay.

Who talks like that?

Why do you think you're

so comfortable here?

Just about everybody who works

in a post office is an alien.

No smoking.

Kay.

My wife and I saw Siegfried and Roy

fly a tiger around a room.

You're nothing special.

When you look at the stars,

you get a feeling...

...like you don't know who you are.

Like you know more about out there

than you do down here.

That's why she left you, Kay.

That's why your wife left you.

Okay, I'll tell you what.

You want to know who you really are,

take a ride with me.

If not, people are waiting

for their TV Guides.

Think he'll bite?

I'm just going for a ride. If things

don't add up, it's hasta luego.

Hey, Kay.

How's it hanging?

Good to see you, Kay.

Good to see you too,

whoever you are.

Well, let's see

what you got here, chief.

Welcome back, Agent Kay.

Agent Kay.

Greetings, Kay.

Wow, look who's back.

I don't mean to bother you...

You're Agent Kay!

- That's what they tell me.

- This is an honour. Agent Gee.

The most respected agent

in MiB history.

The most feared human in the universe.

Maybe I could buy you a cup of coffee?

- Black, two sugars, if you're going.

- An honor.

- Yeah, I'll take a... My man?

- Good to see you, Kay.

How'd it go?

The Drolacks are gone

and the treaty is signed.

Good work.

What about that position you

promised me in Men in Black?

Still working on the alien

affirmative action program.

That's not what you promised me.

- You're breaking up.

-Zed? Hello?

- I'll call you back.

-I could be Agent Em. Zed, you...

I think Earth might be in a bad way.

You're the only one that could save it.

- Well, neither rain, sleet, snow...

- Good man.

Get him armed and up to speed

and over to deneuralyzation.

- Frank?

- Yeah?

I'm gonna need them together

on this one.

I need an assistant. It's not

field work, but you get dental.

Dental?

The most advanced technologies from

all over the universe are in this room.

The most advanced technologies from

all over the universe are in this room.

The most advanced technologies from

all over the universe are in this room.

What's this?

What's this?

All is lost! All is lost!

Don't touch that!

I didn't do anything.

Hands in your pockets.

Your favourite weapon.

- That?

- Yep.

- Let's go put it on.

- What?

The last suit you'll ever wear.

Again.

The deneuralyzer.

Magneto-energy will surge

through your brain...

...unlocking information that could

hold the key to Earth's very survival.

Okay. What's that thing?

The deneuralyzer.

Welcome to planet Earth.

There are some rules and regulations.

Go out only at night.

If you must go out during the daylight,

only the East Village.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Name and planet of origin?

Sylona Gorth. Planet Jorn.

Kaluth system.

- Any fruits or vegetables?

- Yeah, two heads of cabbage.

Reason for visit?

Education. I want to learn

how to be an underwear model.

They told me I've got real potential.

Help! Heart attack!

Clear!

Wake up, champ!

- Oh, jeez.

-Lockdown. Code 101.

Lockdown.

This is not good. This is not good.

- Breach! We're being flushed.

- Flushed?

- Ever been to a water park?

- I don't know.

Flushed.

Yeah, man, back when you was an agent,

you loved getting flushed.

Yeah, every Saturday night, you'd

be like, " Flush me, Jay. Flush me."

I'd be like, " No."

You can't quit on me.

I save the world, you tell me

why I stare at the stars.

Cool.

- Hop in.

- Hop in what?

- Hop in.

- Hop in what?

Does that come standard?

It came with a black dude,

but he kept getting pulled over.

I could rule this place

with the right set of mammary glands.

Trapped like rats...

...in a Chia Pet.

Computer, surveillance MiB.

MiB's locked down.

Computer, magnify. Times 10.

Communicator. Frank.

- Jay, where are you?

-We got flushed.

- MiB 's code 101.

- Yeah, who did it?

Some hot-looking biker chick.

Want me to tail her?

- Stay where you are. I'll be in touch.

- Stay where I am. Easy for you to say.

- Find Kay?

- Neuralyzed.

- Not active. Civilian.

- What?

- He was...

- Here.

- To get...

- Deneuralyzed.

- Memory's shot. But we'll find him.

- Don't put anything in our ears.

What?

What do you make of that?

Found it in my pocket. Weird, huh?

- Yeah, a smile.

- Is that the only deneuralyzer?

Officially. The plans leaked out

on the Internet.

Computer, Internet.

Deneuralyzer.

Perfect. It's an old friend.

Jay, ain't seen you in a while.

Did you peep that drop-top thing

out front?

My business is banging, dog.

You gotta check out the website.

It's Jeebsie dot...

Okay, whoa. He's retired, right?

We need the deneuralyzer.

- You're kidding.

- The metre's running, Jeebs.

Do you remember me?

Can't say I do.

I'm good with faces.

I think I'd remember that.

The great Kay's a neutral.

You're between me and my memories.

Do you have this deneuralyzer or not?

No.

Fresh out.

Can't help you.

Don't got it.

Even if I did, if it doesn't work,

he dies, you blow my head off.

If it does, I've brought back Kay,

who, for fun, blows my head off.

So, what's my incentive?

Okay, homey, I keep it downstairs

next to the snow blowers.

Alien prisoners released,

armed and ready for your orders.

Prisoners of MiB,

the scum of the universe.

Now it's the scum's turn.

I'm in a jam,

so I'll make this simple.

I need the Light of Zartha,

and Kay knows where it is.

Whoever brings Kay to me gets Earth.

Find a deneuralyzer.

They want his memory back.

Check.

Now.

Jarra, good to see you.

Okay, that should do it.

If I could have your attention

while we go over the safety procedures.

Keep your hands inside the vehicle.

lf, during the ride,

you become disoriented...

...there's nothing we can do about it.

Have you removed all your jewellry?

- Are you allergic to shellfish?

- Jeebs!

Right, then!

Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

Have you used this?

I used it to make some hot-air popcorn.

That's about it.

Okay! Let's make it happen, cap'n!

Perfect.

- You're back.

- No.

- How'd you know his head grows back?

- It grows back?

Real nice. Okay, that's the last time

I help out a friend.

- Kay, you remember anything?

- Goodbye.

- Kay!

- Kay, wait!

I never got the updated software.

Still working off the 6.0.

Your brain needs to reboot.

Give it a minute.

Kay!

Bottom of my heart, I'm really sorry.

I hope it won't affect our friendship.

Bottom of my heart, I'm really sorry.

I hope it won't affect our friendship.

All those years of loyalty and trust,

respect for one another.

Right over there!

- Where's Kay?

- He's not here! He went...

Kay's retired. I'm his

trigger-happy replacement.

Right in the pie hole.

Now nothing's gonna taste right.

- Lower your weapon.

- No.

Jay, how are you, boo-boo?

- These guys really need Kay.

- He's a neutral.

- Tell me something we don't know.

- Yeah, tell me something...

I am so sorry.

- God bless you.

- Thank you.

If I don't bring Kay back to MiB,

Rate this script:3.0 / 2 votes

Robert Gordon

Robert Gordon is an American screenwriter and producer. His writing credits consist of Addicted to Love (1997), Galaxy Quest (1999), Men in Black II (2002), and Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004). He also was an associate producer on Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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