Mental Page #4

but thought the world of her daughters,

that right?

It's hard to juggle a

home and a family.

I mean, I should know -

I have two children myself.

Do ya?

Some children are less trouble

than others, I reckon.

I was lucky.

My children are naturally tidy.

Quiet too, I bet.

Well... I was strict.

But children need that.

I posted a daily roster

of their responsibilities.

You sure you're Shirley's sister?

We're ten years apart.

I still think of Shirley

as the baby of the family...

the one who got away with everything.

But she's a dear thing,

with a sweet, trusting nature.

Yep. It's all comin' together.

The life of Shirley Moochmore.

' Ripper!

Oh!

I understand you, Doris.

And soon, you're gonna understand me.

That sounds... ominous.

You wouldn't know.

Aargghhhh!

(Coral squeals)

(Coral laughs)

Oh, sh*t. It's a mask.

- (Chuckles)

- Did I scream?

Mm... (Laughs)

Seen me feminine side, Coral.

Girls like that, don't they?

It turns ya on, don't it?

Oh, it turns me on!

(Squeals)

(Trout grunts)

I didn't think you liked me, Trout.

You let me see the sharks

after closin' time, didn't ya?

This is your reward. (Laughs)

What do you like about me, Trout?

What?

Uh... you're different. (Laughs)

How am I different?

I dunno. It's... hard to say.

Ya missin' something, or you got

too much of it. I don't know which.

(Blows raspberry) (Both laugh)

' Woo!

(Squeals, giggles)

- Ow! Don't...

- Oh, sorry.

- Oh!

- You OK?

Uh-huh.

(Latch clicks)

What was that?

Did you... did you hear that?

Did you lock the door?

It's nothing.

Trout, there's somebody here.

No, no, Trout! Get off! No...

(Screams)

(Both scream) Argh!

(Splutters)

- Are you OK?

- Uh-huh.

(Wheezes)

Trout, I've temporarily paralysed ya.

You'll be right in 20 seconds.

While I got ya here,

Coral is an employee of

Trev Blundell Jaws O' Terror shark show.

And being Trev Blundell,

I look out for her.

'No'... means no.

Don't mean 'maybe' or 'more please'.

I've had a few conversations with Coral

and, physically, she's all woman.

Mentally, she's, uh... ill-equipped

to pan with her girlhood right now.

I'm not sayin' never.

Maybe in a couple of years.

You're OK now, Trout.

Piss off.

(Slurping)

Trout's not right for you.

I been huntin' sharks 40 years.

Seen his type before -

all instinct, no fear in him.

He craves, devours, moves on.

Trout isn't a shark. Boys aren't sharks.

Everything is sharks. Life is sharks.

when the dinosaurs lay dyin',

last thing they saw were sharks

laughin' at 'em.

That's the last thing we'll see too.

I'm quitting my job

'cause I think you're mental.

Mental is a shark.

- It is not.

- It is.

I expect to be schizophrenic

any day now,

and none of my research

mentions sharks... ever.

Is that right?

I've been in a lunatic asylum.

Five years ago. After me daughter died

and me wife lost her mind.

I've battled insanity, and it's a shark.

Circles ya boat,

waitin' for you to fall.

You can't see it, but it's there.

You know that feeling, Coral?

'Cause if you don't,

I can show it to ya.

They have us surrounded, Coral.

Madness is when you see 'em.

Sanity.

Insanity.

Don't dream of madness, Coral.

When madness gets ya,

there's no 'you' left.

Just madness.

What if it's too late?

I tried to kill myself when I was 13

by jumping off the verandah

because I'm ugly and I'm abnormal.

And my mum's in the loony bin,

my sister talks to aliens

and my dad hates us.

Even me being here

talking to you isn't normal.

Look at you -

you're old, you have weird scars.

And what do you want to be with me for,

anyway?

You remind me of someone.

Don't lose yourself, Coral.

I know it don't seem like much...

..but it's all you got.

Crazy...

That's very inappropriate, Karen.

Very inappropriate.

Crazy for feelin' so lonely...

Well, it's not a really romantic story.

Well, there's a romantic bit in it.

Uh, Barry was 25 and I was 24

and, on our second date,

he son of raped me.

Mm.

Date rape I suppose you'd call it now.

Yeah. On the terrace

of the Dolphin Heads Casino.

Well, he'd had a bit to drink

and suddenly he was all over me.

And I'm there going, 'No, no, '

like you do.

But you know how men are -

they just go with the ow, don't they?

Anyway, next day, I said to myself,

'Shirley, if he doesn't call you

in three weeks, you're a slut.'.

It was before three weeks was up I found

out I was pregnant with Coral and...

But he did call me. Yeah.

That's the romantic bit.

Boy, did he get a surprise.

I suppose you think that's a bad

foundation for a marriage - rape.

SHAZ:
I've heard worse.

Have you?

- I've lived worse.

- Have you?

You wouldn't know.

See, you're not like my other doctors,

because you tell me stuff.

Keep your voice down.

I don't want 'em stealing me techniques.

Do you think I use food

as an emotional crutch?

- Nup.

- What about waterfalls?

What about waterfalls?

Dr Kurland says, when I feel

overwhelmed, I should think of them.

Bullshit. What do these doctors do about

the daily misery that is your life?

Close your eyes and imagine this...

a giant tumour eatin' your brain.

You go into a hospital

filled with doctors,

experts on brain-eatin' tumours,

and what do they do?

Brush ya hair over the bulge

so no-one can see it and send you home.

But what you need

is someone to cut out the tumour

so you can live.

Shaz.

Oh, no! Sandra!

Gaw! Spun out! What are you doin'

in here, ya mad boong?

Oh, they reckon I've got

borderline personality disorder.

Borderline f***in' personality!

What the f*** do they know

about my f***in' personality?

F***in' nothin'!

I'm still vibrant.

Too vibrant for some, eh, Shaz?

Do you remember?

(Sandra and Shaz laugh)

(Shaz laughs)

Shut up.

I admit I had a bit too much to drink,

got a bit outta hand.

Don't remember. Anyway, bit

of a punch-up, bit of a committal,

and here I am.

- Yeah, they got Shirley in 'ere too.

- F***, no!

- Shirley, you in 'ere too?

- Mm.

Who are ya?

Shirley... Moochmore.

What a stupid f***in' name.

No wonder they put ya away.

(Shaz and Sandra laugh)

Aw, Sheree...

Eh, she's great, this one.

Has she taken ya under her wing?

Yep. Shirley's me project.

Are you one of Dr Thornbender's patients

as well?

Yep.

And I love her.

And I don't like whities, as a rule,

but Shaz... Shaz isn't white.

She's a new colour.

- She's mauve.

- Gaw.

It's true, Shaz. Ya mauve.

Ya f***in' mauve!

Now, Shaz knows.

She knows.

She's gonna change your f***in' life.

That's the impression I get.

The problem with you two

is you let people say you're crazy.

You're only as crazy

as you let people say you are.

I don't let anyone say I'm crazy,

so I'm normal.

Youse, you let everyone

say you're crazy, so you're in here.

Dr Kurland...-I don't

care what them doctors say.

What do you say?

Are you crazy?

I don't cope well.

There's ways of copin'

that don't involve loony bins and drugs.

There's offensive and defensive copin'.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes