Mercenaries Page #3

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That's a negative.

I repeat... Our ride is sh*t-canned,

And we have no leads.

The mission is f***ed.

Strongly recommend we abort.

In less than 24 hours,

Care packages with bits

of the First Daughter

Is gonna start showing

up at Pennsylvania Avenue.

You're smart. Just find

another way to get in.

Use your feminine charms.

Charlie 2-3 out.

Looks like we're walking, ladies.

Talk about your sh*t-holes.

They haven't had a

functioning government

Since the Soviet Union.

One can hardly expect them

To maintain infrastructure.

Cool guns.

Thanks.

American, yeah?

Come to save us?

Not exactly.

I love America. You guys all have

The best stuff, the best

movies, even have same gun.

Hey, we got it, kid.

You don't look like Army.

We're not.

You're mercs, aren't you? I knew it.

I'm Lexi. You should

let me join up with you.

I'll help you, and then you bring me

Back to America with you. Deal?

Look, kid, we're not nice women.

We're not gonna have some fun adventure.

We gotta do some very bad

things to some very bad people,

And it's no place for a teenager.

I can take it.

I got skills to pay bills.

Hah! Hah!

Be gone, kid!

Was that really necessary?

Unless you want to be responsible

For that girl's life, yeah, it was.

Contact HQ.

Let Mona know that we

made our way into town.

I would have shot her ass.

Yeah, I know you would.

Oh, sh*t! My sat-phone.

Lexi! Lexi!

Ready or not, here I come!

Sh*t. You take the doors.

We meet around back.

Sh*t.

Oh, come on!

You guys are making this boring!

That cheeky little b*tch.

You almost had me.

Too bad I'm just too good for you.

I could have eaten for a month

With what I would have made from that.

We'd like to help,

but, uh, we need this.

That was some nice work, though.

So can I join up?

Go back to being a kid.

Okay, but you'll never

get into the Citadel,

Not without me.

That is why you're here, right?

Ulrika?

What do you know about it?

I know that ever since yesterday,

Security has been tighter than ever.

Something big is going on.

Ulrika's going to be very cautious.

Fortunately, I have an idea.

All right, kid. What do you got?

Every week, Ulrika sends

a truck to the port,

And, every week, that truck comes back,

Always on the same day, today.

What's inside?

Don't know. Sometimes guns,

Sometimes medicine,

But always valuable,

And I know exactly what route they take.

Lexi...

You want to be on the team?

I still think you guys should

have let me use a bigger charge.

All right, Annie Oakley, you're up.

Target has been diverted.

Were you gonna use that

piece of sh*t on me?

Keeping body count to a minimum.

You're no fun, Clay.

What are you gonna do?

You know what?

Pull that trigger, I open a vein.

"Thank you for saving

my ass, Mei-Lin. "

My pleasure, Raven.

Domo.

That's Japanese, b*tch.

Same sh*t.

Wow.

What kind of missiles are these?

ICBM.

Which is? Which is?

Intercontinental Ballistic Missile

With a minimum range of

more than 5,500 kilometers.

Primarily designed for

nuclear weapons delivery.

Well, I guess I know what

to get you for your birthday.

We could put this

On my Christmas list.

We're not taking that, Raven.

And we're not keeping

those either, Mei-Lin.

Where you gonna put em?

Well, looks like we

found our calling card.

So let's get into character

And start calling.

Ulrika.

What?

They've found us.

Lose something?

Thank you for returning my shipment.

You've earned 30 seconds of my time.

I suggest you use it to

persuade me not to shoot you.

Absolutely.

We could have kept this bad boy

And sold what was inside,

But that would be peanuts

Compared to what we have to offer.

Which is?

If you will...

Fannie Pong...

Daughter of Pong Fan

Shui, the industrialist.

Third-richest man in China.

You broker the deal.

We split the ransom.

Checking identity online.

See how easy it is

To change Wikipedia?

Shut up!

Fannie Pong, confirmed.

Your offer is enticing.

Now explain why it makes sense

to me to not just kill you now

And keep all the ransom for myself?

Well, that's an option,

But you'd be missing out on

a very lucrative partnership.

Pong is just the introductory offer.

See, we're good at acquiring

high-value packages like this.

We just hate the paperwork.

Well, you've come at a very

inopportune time for me.

I'm not sure I want to

take on new distractions.

If you don't want the easy payday,

I'm sure one of your

rivals will be interested.

You knew coming in here

That I would never let you give

such a prize to any of them.

Now, y-you don't want to shoot us.

Well, at least not me,

Not if you want to know what I changed

The missile's arm-disarm codes to.

'Cause, see, without those...

Hi...

These are about as effective

as a couple of sparklers.

What makes you think that I

won't torture them out of you?

Oh, I know you would.

I just... I don't know

if you've got the time.

Good.

That's a difference

between men and women,

Brains, not thick-headed muscle.

But I could keep pushing,

Because I know you'll flinch first.

But it's so rare to meet

such industrious women...

So for right now,

I think it's more exciting if I, um,

Say, "Deal. "

Deal.

Grigori, have the ICBM

taken to the airfield

And loaded on the plane.

I want it ready to ship

As soon as the funds are wired.

Why don't you and your

associates come with me,

And let's hammer out the

details of our arrangement.

Whoa! No. Not you, kid.

Sorry. You stay here.

What? That's f***ing bullshit!

Excuse me? I told you about this truck!

This was all my idea!

Stealing my truck was your idea?

What's your name, girl?

Lexi.

Grigori, show Lexi our gratitude.

Finder's fee.

Cool.

Don't do it again.

Oh, I almost forgot.

For being incompetent enough to be

foiled by a little girl's plans...

Why don't we go to the new VIP suites.

Come on.

Why don't you make sure

Lexi gets home safe.

I was never big on sightseeing, anyway.

Good.

Go find something to do.

So, what y'all do for fun around here?

As you can see, your country's war

on terror has been excellent for us.

Suicide vests.

Ah-ah. Can't give away

trade secrets to a stranger.

Oh, just as well.

We're business partners.

We use a sealed gelatin explosive pack

With ceramic ball bearings

Designed to pass right through

Metal detectors and bomb sniffers.

For our brothers in the Middle East

fighting the imperialistic and...

Ha ha! Whatever those crazies say.

But they pay in cash,

So if the fools want 72 virgins

that bad, none of my concern.

If I were you, I would avoid

Your shopping malls

for the next few weeks.

Ladies...

I spared no expense.

Only I know the code to these.

Call me paranoid.

Okay.

Ow!

What is this?

Business, in a sense,

The oldest business.

Prostitution.

Every woman under my care

Are required to perform so.

Money can only buy a

man's loyalty for so long,

So if you really want to control them,

Control the choice p*ssy in the region,

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