Metroland Page #3

Be fun.

# Destroy! Destroy! #

# Destroy the hoi polloi! #

# Destroy! Destroy!

# Destroy the hoi polloi! #

Nice shirt, wanker!

# Destroy the hoi polloi! #

# Destroy! Destroy! #

Hey!

Mwah!

Wonderful, aren't they?

Yeah, very talented.

# Destroy! Destroy! #

# Destroy the hoi polloi! #

Take it!

# Destroy! Destroy! #

Go on! A big one!

# Destroy the hoi polloi! #

# Destroy! Destroy! #

# Destroy the hoi polloi! #

# Destroy! Destroy! #

# Destroy the hoi polloi... #

Hello.

Oh, look at that nonce.

Hello there.

Mr. Nonce to you.

Man with a dress on.

I saw you!

What are you doing?

Chris, you all right?

Yeah!

This is fun!

This is fun, Toni!

You, you always knew

how to have fun,

didn't you?

I always, I always...

I always felt

a bit dull next to you.

What's the...

What's the secret?

No secret.

No, really.

What is it?

What's the secret, Toni?

Your problem, Chris,

is you're busy doing

what other people

want you to do.

Your parents,

Marion, everyone.

The trick is to do

what you want.

Sod what he wants.

What about me?

Are we shagging or not?

I should know better

better than to try

screwing old men.

Fun!

I'm having fun!

Yeah, this is it.

Come on, then.

Up you get.

Up you go.

Up, up, up.

From now on

I'm going to do

what I want.

Of course, you are.

Come on.

No. No, really.

Come on.

Let's get you home.

I'm gonna do

what I want.

No, Toni,

I mean it.

From now on.

I mean it.

What's Marion going to say?

Taxi! Taxi!

Hey, stop there!

In you get.

In you get.

Chris, Chris, Chris,

you do not want sex.

I bloody do.

No, you don't.

Come on.

You're going to bed.

You're going to bed.

You are in the first stage

of a three-stage hangover.

Marion.

Oh, Toni...

I say, sir.

Toni.

I say, I've never seen

the likes of it.

I said the sofa.

Go on. Get out.

Out, out.

This is private.

Private.

Chris, come on.

Yeah.

Come on. Come on.

Stage one

of this hangover:

Start feeling randy...

Yeah.

And stage two

is pass out-

halfway through.

No. Feeling ran...

Rubbish!

Rubbish.

Anyway, I want it to be you

that I make love to.

It's me.

No, it's not.

It's me, darling.

No, it's eight pints

of lager with an erection.

No.

Yes, it is.

Get into bed.

Stage one.

Then stage two.

What's stage three?

Stage three, my dear,

is wake up

with a blinding headache.

Bollocks!

I feel

absolutely fine.

Bed, bed, bed!

No, I feel... Yeah.

Into bed.

Go on. In, in.

I'm going

to get the baby.

Oh, Chris, for God's sake.

Are you coming back?

How you feeling?

Fine, thanks.

I phoned the office

and told them

you were ill.

I got to get going.

Thanks for the sofa.

Everything okay?

Fine.

You and Toni...

you had a row

or something?

'Course not.

Saw you snapping

away on the platform.

Interested in trains,

are you?

Not really.

Just there's not much else

to photograph around here.

It's very fancy.

Got it for my birthday.

I retired today.

They gave me

a whisky decanter.

42 years

in the same company

and nobody's noticed

I never drink.

This is the last time

I'll ever make this journey.

This used to be

a grand line, you know?

Used to have ambitions.

Do you know

there was a Pullman car

right up until

Hitler's war started.

It was called the Mayflower.

It wasn't just ambition

with the Victorians,

you see.

There was confidence as well.

Confidence in ambition.

I mean,

can you imagine?

They wanted to join

the Metropolitan Line up

with Northampton

and Birmingham.

Have a great link through

from Yorkshire and Lancashire

through Quainton Road,

through London

joining up

with the Old Southeastern

and through

a channel tunnel

to the Continent.

Monumental.

Is that when they started

calling it Metroland here?

That bloody nonsense.

No, that was

just a name made up

to please the estate agents

during the war

before Hitler's.

Catchy name

to make it sound cozy.

Cozy homes for cozy heroes.

25 minutes from Baker Street

and a pension

at the end of the line.

Turned it into

what it is now...

bourgeois dormitory.

Aren't you bourgeois, then?

'Course, I am.

So are you...

I shouldn't wonder.

No, I'm not staying

in Metroland.

I'm gonna live in Paris

and take pictures.

French never could run

a decent rail service.

You see, it doesn't matter

where you go.

Metroland isn't a place.

It's a state of mind.

Oh, Amy...

Aw, sweetheart,

what are you doing?

Marion!

There's a good girl,

sweetheart.

There's a good girl...

Marion!

Sorry, love,

she's just...

Come on.

...taken everything down.

Aw...

Daddy's had a bad day...

Come on.

Stop now.

Ne bouge pas.

Comme a.

The camera...

No more. No more.

You taught me

to say what I'm feeling.

Nowyou're blaming me

when I do.

You know...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Yes, but I was teaching you

to be sincere, not cruel.

Chris?

Ifyou're going

to look at dirty pictures

ofyour old girlfriends

at least have the style

to do it openly.

Sex with me

was always wonderful, Chris.

Betterthan it is now

with Marion.

No, that's not true.

That's just nostal gia.

No...

you gave me

multiple orgasm every time.

Did I?

You never said.

Mmm.

You were

a fantastic lover.

Marion doesn't

appreciate you.

You might be right

about that.

Face it. You don't

desire her anymore.

No, I do.

Just not in the same way.

You never stopped

desiring me.

Yeah.

I didn't fall in love with you

either though, did I?

Are you sure?

Maybe you were just

too young to know.

Maybe you just lost

your nerve and ran back

to where you felt comfortable.

What do you mean?

I thought you came to Paris

to be an artist.

I did.

So what are you doing

ten years later

living a mile

from where you grew up

doing a job you despise?

Face it, Chris...

you've become your parents.

That's not true.

Oh, yeah?

Why didn't you stay in Paris?

Tu devrais tre dehors

dans la rue avec eux.

Tu prendrais

de bonnes photos.

Je suis un artiste,

pas un journaliste.

Comment va madame aujourd'hui?

Trs bien.

Malheureusement.

A vez-vous du feu,

s'il vous plat?

Merci.

Ciao.

C'est qui,

cette fille?

Quelle fille?

Euh, lopard plastique,

cheveux foncs.

L opard plastique,

cheveux foncs, trsjolie?

Oui.

Aucune ide.

Chris...

Ne te fatigue pas, hein?

Ne t'approche pas des filles.

Elles ne pensent

qu' te couper les couilles.

Regarde-moi.

Dis-donc.

Tu gagnes ta vie

avec des photos?

Pas avec les miennes,

en tout cas.

Parce que j'ai besoin

d'aide pour le week-end.

A moins bien sr que...

ce ne soit pas digne

d'un artiste de ton envergure.

Non. Oui.

Merci, Henri.

"Africa's where

it's happening, Chris.

"Vibrant culture.

"Great people.

"Thinking ofhanging out here

for a while...

"or maybe heading down

to Afghanistan

"'cause apparently they grow

"the best pot

in the world there.

"You wouldn't believe

the skirt out here.

"The American girls.

Jesus, even you could score. "

"I'm working on getting

to Paris.

"Just not sure when.

"Don't start the revolution

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