Michael Page #2

Well, we don't know exactly

how it works with angels.

How it works?

If he's in the room

then you're with him.

If he's somewhere else...

...then you're not.

And that's why we can't see him now?

He's not here.

Are you impaired in some way...

...that I haven't noticed, Miss?

Ms. Winters...

...has probably never heard of

an angel living in a motel.

You think I'm full of sh*t.

No, no. Nothing like that.

I don't judge these things.

I don't decide what's real or not.

- I've seen too many things myself.

- We heard of a werewolf in S. Jersey.

- We went there.

- To locate the werewolf.

In that particular case...

...that person was convinced that

the werewolf was in the room with us.

They could see it,

although Mr. Quinlan and myself...

We couldn't, but that

doesn't mean it wasn't there.

Michael?

Are you coming down, dear?

Yeah.

Be right down.

Just got to find my smokes.

They're beside the bed,

next to my cortisone.

Did you find them?

He'll be down directly.

That smell is so familiar.

It's like something from childhood.

Oh, God.

Michael, look who's come to visit us!

It's Sparky.

How do you do?

You'll have to excuse Michael.

He's not good at suffering fools...

...but he'll be better in the morning.

Where is the thermostat in here?

Are we talking about an angel here?

- We can't be talking about an angel.

- There is no such...

...thing as an angel.

That is definitely...

...the weirdest thing I have ever seen.

It's like some great big bird...

- ... made love to that guy's mother.

- And we reap the benefits.

I'm set for life.

I could even get a raise.

I thank you. Thank you, Jesus.

Thank you, Jesus. I thank you, Jesus.

I thank you, Jesus.

- What?

- That is not an angel.

- It is too.

- It is not.

I will handle this.

Where has he been?

- Meaning what?

- Meaning if he were a man with wings...

...which is the alternative,

we'd have heard about him.

You don't show up at his age with wings.

There'd be a story in the papers.

- In the National Mirror.

- Exactly. "Baby born with wings. "

"Bird-man of Iowa. "

It's not angel vs. man with wings.

There are other possibilities.

Like what?

It's fairly obvious, isn't it?

He's a younger man. She's an

older woman. He's after her money.

A gigolo with wings.

A gigolo.

What money is he after?

The Milk Bottle Motel fortune?

You don't have to have money

for someone to try to take it.

Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord.

Is it so hard to imagine...

...that a man would be

after a woman's money?

Is this Brightly? Or Brinkley?

What's his name?

- Bradley.

- Is this him we're talking about?

- Actually, no. It's Miles.

- Who's Miles?

My second husband.

Miles was wild. It lasted a week.

You left him?

No, he left me, in my Camaro.

I see.

I'll bet he racked up $5,000 on your

Visa bill too, didn't he? Didn't he?

You just know everything, don't you?

Angels don't smoke.

I'm going to sleep.

Good night.

Don't let the bedbugs bite.

That is a horrible expression.

It is not...

...an expression.

That's good.

He's so hungry.

Oh, boy.

Good boy.

What a sweet doggie.

How would you like

your eggs, Mr. Quinlan?

Sparky's look good.

Over easy!

Last night we were

discussing your wings.

Would you mind if I took a closer look?

Let them look at your wings, Michael.

They're from the National Mirror.

Thank you.

- Not bad.

- Compared to what?

- I've seen birds.

- Would you mind if I touched?

I'd rather you didn't.

We'd like to take a look to see

how you have these things attached.

Pull on your pecker and

see how that's attached.

Watch your language, mister.

Pecker. An angel that says pecker.

Language...

...gentlemen.

How would you like your eggs?

What's in the oven?

The smell is so delicious.

We are serving eggs

this morning and that's that.

Over easy would be just fine.

Over easy!

I thought angels were...

...cleaner.

She doesn't mean to offend. It's...

Miss Winters is an angel

expert and she gets kind of...

...literal. What she

probably wants to know is...

- ... can you fly?

- I don't...

...want to know if he can fly.

He can't. Only little angels-

Says who?

I just thought...

Halos? Inner light?

I'm not that kind of angel.

- What kind of angel are you?

- Michael is an archangel.

He battled Lucifer and

threw him out of Heaven.

Revelation Twelve, verse seven.

That was a long time ago.

He smote a bank for me.

- A bank?

- I knew it. Money was involved, right?

I should say so.

- After Elmer died...

- Who's Elmer?

My husband. After he died...

...they built the highway

and stole all my truckers.

And then the bank...

...came to...

...take the Milk Bottle...

...and I prayed for help...

...until God sent me Michael.

She was persistent.

You came...

...down and smote the bank?

A branch. First Iowa Bank of Commerce.

It was lovely. He walked into

the manager's office and said...

- What was that you said?

- Money changer!

"Money changer...

"... I shall turneth this earthly den

into a parking lot. "

Did I say that? I didn't say that.

They didn't believe us,

so Michael flattened it.

- You did that?

- Had to.

Into a parking lot?

Well, they said it was a tornado.

This town doesn't really need

a parking lot, but it's more...

...cosmopolitan.

And what about the money?

We never heard another word about it.

Did we?

Nope.

You look like...

...you must eat a robust breakfast.

How would you like your eggs?

Poached?

That's... Poached is fine.

Poached.

"The Lord is my shepherd,

I shall not want.

"He maketh me to lie

down in green pastures.

"He leadeth me beside

the still waters... "

Look, she's happier

where she is, right?

Heaven?

She's happier up there?

It isn't my area.

You hardly knew her.

She died cooking us breakfast.

She died making breakfast.

What is it that you keep

writing in that book?

Lyrics.

To what?

I write Country Western songs.

It's my hobby.

"Earth to earth...

"... ashes to ashes...

"... and dust to dust.

"The Lord bless and keep you...

"... and give you peace. "

Justine? It's Quinlan.

Put me straight through.

What you got?

Wings.

Real wings.

Don't play with me, Quinlan.

This guy is about six feet tall.

He has wings from his shoulders

to his knees. But he's filthy.

We'll have to clean him

and put him in a white robe.

Get Craddock to dig up those sandals

with the straps that go up your legs.

Too bad he's not blond.

Angels are supposed to be blond.

But "Oprah," Barbara,

"The Today Show... "

"... Hard Copy," book the works.

Don't mess this one up.

I want that guy

on the first plane to Chicago.

Or does the bird-man fly himself?

I don't know if he actually

uses the wings, but God...

...wouldn't that be a draw?

Don't worry. He's in safe hands.

And I'm the Queen of England.

Don't fret, Malt.

He's in safe hands.

In view of this,

should we call the girl off?

No, no, leave her where she is.

I'm in a no-lose situation.

Hey, Mike.

Michael.

Have you...

...ever seen the world's

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