Mickybo and Me Page #4

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Is that you, JonJo?

Tell him the peelers

is after him as well.

The peelers is after you.

Him and Micky's dead

when they come home.

You and Micky's dead

when yous come home.

And tell him about them two boys.

And there's two big boys waiting

to get yous when yous come back.

What's Australia like?

- Sundance!

- Are you OK?

Aye, now get me out, quick!

Come on!

They know everything.

They're getting reinforcements.

But I've a plan. You sneak

in and nick the peeler's gun.

- Then shoot the locks off.

- Don't be soft in the head.

I've a better plan.

Where you going?

- Cover your eyes.

- What?

Cover them. Duck down.

There's wanted posters everywhere.

With photos of you and me.

- We're famous.

- Do they know about Barney?

I told them nothing.

They tortured me to spill the beans.

But they couldn't break

our cowboy code of silence.

And there's a massive big reward.

Them peelers will be sickened

not getting the money.

- How much?

- A million dollars each. Dead or alive.

Well, keep running then.

- But I thought they had him safe.

- I know.

They cant just lose a lad

that's sitting in front of them.

The wee bugger just ran off.

Wait till I get hold of him.

But he's only little.

Peelers couldn't

organize a piss up in a brewery.

Oh, Aye. That's something

you could certainly show them how to do.

He'll be all right, darling. The wee

man's tough, eh? Just like his ma.

We should've gone for him.

He'll be home as soon as

he gets hungry, won't he, girls?

- Aye, Daddy.

- He's only little.

See the teacher lady in the film

who taught them

all those Bolivian words?

Was she Butch's wife too?

I think so. Aye, they took turns.

Can you have two wives now?

No, that was the olden days.

If you were a cowboy,

you could do what you wanted.

Can you swap the wife

you have now for a new one?

Only in America.

- So you can't have two mums?

- No. Sure, one's bad enough.

Last one to the wall stinks of shite.

When we've climbed over the border

fence, we can hitch a ride to the ferry.

But what if it hits a giant iceberg?

We're going to Australia, JonJo,

not the frigging North Pole.

But there was this ship once

that got smashed by an iceberg

and millions of people got drownded.

Oh, my God!

If Superman was in Belfast,

there'd be no bombs.

Aye, he'd hear the ticking

with his X-ray ears.

Come on!

There you are.

I got us disguises.

No one'll recognize us now.

- What times the next boat, missus?

- Miss.

- Miss what?

- It's Miss.

What is? What's the matter with her?

When's the next ferry, please, miss?

You're a wee tiny bit early, boys.

The next one's not till eight.

The night crossing. 2 pounds

12 shillings each, pay down the pier.

Where's your manners, boys?

Oh, aye. Thanks, missus.

We've four hours to kill.

All we have to do is keep a low profile.

Yee-hah!

- Ride 'em, cowboy!

- Oi, kid. Get down on your arse.

- Who are those guys?

- Don't know.

But they're really

starting to get on my nerves.

Aim at the target, son.

Not the friggin' prizes, all right?

Aye, mister. Sorry, mister.

It was an accident, mister.

Aye, well, if it happens a third time,

I'll have yous out of here before

you can sh*t yourselves. Understand?

Aye. What's your top prize, mister?

See, when I'm big,

I'm going to have my own real gun.

People don't slabber at you

when you've got a gun.

It wasn't fair.

My rifle shot all crooked.

Can we get some chips now?

Forget about your chips.

What about our bloody boat tickets?

But you were minding the money.

You formed this gang.

You run things. Remember?

We're bloody stuffed.

It's the end of the line.

If your dad was here,

he'd know what to do.

Jesus, partner,

you're not as daft as you look.

Snake eyes, come to Papa.

This bit's not for kids, boys.

But that's our money.

We earned it fair and square.

Tough luck, son, you're minors.

Now, get the f*** out of my hair!

You're a thieving bastard.

We need that money.

We've a ship to catch.

Run, Butch. Run like shite!

Come on, we'll miss the boat!

Leave it, leave it!

Keep the change, mister.

- Yah!

- Yah!

Come on!

Come on, boy! Come on!

My horse is shite, JonJo!

- Come on! Get moving!

- Wait for me, JonJo!

Don't leave me behind.

Help me, Sundance!

Come on! Yee-hah!

He's gaining on us.

Keep running!

And the Lord tells us

we must love all of his people

as he loves his flock.

Come on!

Come on!

Damn it!

Next time I say run like shite,

you run like shite, OK?

You are all mouth.

Who are those guys?

I think it's the law, Mickybo.

We're cornered. What are we gonna do?

If we still had Barney's gun,

we could shoot them.

If we had super powers,

we could fly to Australia, Mickybo.

But we don't have super powers

or Barney's gun.

All right, smart-arse,

what about you having an idea for once?

I know.

We could jump.

Are you serious?

We'll get squished to bits.

Come on, it's our only chance.

- I said no way.

- What's the matter with you?

- I can't swim.

- Can you not, Mickybo? Really?

Of course I can, you tube.

I did my 20 lengths last term.

What are you on about then,

you big spoon?

The fall will probably kill you.

Blood brothers?

- Blood brothers.

- For life.

Shite!

Are you gonna lock us up?

Ah, no, son. We'll leave that

to your boys back up north.

How come you've no guns?

No need. Down here, we're trained

to kill a man with our bare hands.

Yous are not real peelers

if you've no guns.

Don't you worry yourselves.

You'll be seeing more guns

than you can shake a stick at.

What do you mean "down here", mister?

Different rules over the border, son.

Down here guns are for shooting rabbits,

the odd fox and not much else.

But we never got to the border.

Ah, you did, lads.

Crossed over a few miles back.

Did you not notice

the grass that little bit greener?

In a few minutes,

you'll be skipping right back over it.

So don't blink

or you'll miss it in all its glory.

My da will not believe

we escaped that far.

He'll tell all his mates

and buy us a drink again.

Well, and here she is, boys.

Checkpoint Charlie.

- But it's shite.

- I'm sorry to disappoint you, boys.

Here, partner.

JonJo.

- Right, son. Explain yourself.

- Me and Mickybo...

I don't give a damn about him.

What the hell were you doing?

Mummy!

Oh, would you look who it is.

It's the wee prodigal son.

- What is she doing here?

- She's a friend of mine.

- I'm like a social worker, son.

- I'm not your son, missus. All right?

And I know what you do. I saw you

down the pictures shagging Sidney.

- Remember?

- JonJo.

Do you shag all the men in Belfast

or just other people's husbands?

- JonJo!

- Listen, son...

I told you, I'm not your son

and you're not my mum.

- You're a whore. Now get out...

- That's enough!

This is a little more

than I signed up for, gents.

Get up to your room.

I'll deal with you in the morning.

Where are you going?

To my room, Dad, like you told me.

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