Mighty Aphrodite Page #11

- You know what I like in a woman?

- What?

I like, like, um,

an old-fashioned girl, you know,

Iike my-my mom.

Like, a girl who likes to take care

of the house and cook and clean...

and doesn't mind walkin' the dogs and

doin' the lawn and that kind of thing.

You know what I mean?

That's like my mom.

Yeah.

What do you like in a man?

I like a guy

who has a good job,

who treats me nice

and, um--

Well, who's kinda

built like you.

Doesn't have to stuff a sock

in his jock to look good.

Mm-hmm.

- You know what my dream is?

- What?

I'm in a field, right?

And, like, this hawk comes...

and picks me up

in his beak, right?

And then flies me, like, all over

the world so I see everything.

And then, like, he flies me

out of the country...

and, like, we go up to

the north pole and he drops me...

in the snow.

And I'm just layin' there...

naked.

What's your dream?

My dream is that somebody would come

along and think that I was special,

that, you know-- that they'd wanna

come and change my life for me.

That's my dream.

You could have that.

- You think?

- Yeah, I think.

You could definitely have that,

a pretty girl like you.

So, you think, um,

I'm gonna get to see you

again, Linda, or what?

Do you want to?

A lot.

I want to a lot.

Me too.

True love.

As refreshing as spring.

They kissed good night.

And saw each other

the very next night, and the next.

Hold it, everybody.

Something's coming in.

- A bulletin!

- Uh-oh. Here comes Miss Party Pooper.

Tiresias, the blind seer

of Thebes.

- I have a vision of him and Weinrib.

- Where?

Wait.

The Acropolis.

Oh, Weinrib.

I saw your wife.

- Amanda.

- You know me?

Yeah. I saw her.

She was workin' late at the gallery.

And with her was this,

uh, Jerry Bender guy.

Well, that's nothing. She works

with Jerry Bender. Nothing unusual.

- You didn't let me finish.

- Go on.

Uh, they spoke

in intimate tones...

and then, uh, Bender rose

and laid a big wet one on her.

- A big we-- Bender kissed Amanda?

- That's what I'm tellin' ya.

Hey, you must've known somethin'

was going on for a while, huh?

Yeah, I always thought

that Bender had eyes for her.

Now he's got eyes and hands.

Jesus-- Well, Amanda

didn't respond, did she?

No. She just opened her mouth

very wide and stuck her tongue out...

as far as it was

humanly possible to go.

Jeez--

Are you sure?

Well, hey-- Does the Trojan horse

have a wooden dick?

- And then she, she pushed

her abdomen against his.

- All right, all right!

I got the picture!

I knew it! I always suspected.

Ah, it's somethin' you don't wanna know,

but you hadda be blind not to see it.

- Yeah. Oh, God. I'm gonna confront her.

- Oh, no, not in front of Max!

No, Max-- Max has got a sleep-over date

at his friend's house.

- Oh.

- No. I knew it. Down deep, I knew it.

Uh, thanks, Weinrib.

Thanks.

Ah, thank you.

God bless you.

Oh, my God!

It's more serious than we thought!

It's very serious.

Her marriage to Lenny is in crisis.

With the passage of time,

even the strongest bonds become fragile.

Great, fellas.

It sounds like a fortune cookie.

O Zeus,

most potent of gods!

We implore thee!

We need your help!

Zeus! Great Zeus!

Hear us! Hear us!

We call out to thee!

Um, this is Zeus.

I'm not home right now.

But you can leave a message

and I'll get back to you.

- Please start speaking at the tone.

Call us when you get in!

We need help!

God, I think

I should move out.

I-I-I can't understand this.

Wh-Wh-- This is so radical.

No, 'cause I can't cheat.

Jerry Bender's in love with me.

This is crazy.

Are you telling me you're in love with

him, you're in love with Jerry Bender?

I don't know.

I gotta find out.

- What do you mean, "you don't know"?

- I don't know!

What do you mean?

Are you in love with him or not?

Anyway, Lenny, let's face it--

things have changed between us.

But we can fix things.

What about Max? Max--

He'll be okay. Maybe it will

be better for him with us apart...

- instead of together

and arguing all of the time.

- That's crazy.

I just think that's crazy.

Well, I-- I can't have

this conversation.

I-- This is too crazy. I'm--

- Where are you going?

- I'm going out. I have to think.

I have to get

my thoughts together.

- I been waitin' for you, man.

- Kevin, leave me alone.

- I'm in a very, very bad mood.

- You're in a very bad mood?

How could you do this? How could you

set me up with this stupid girl?

- What are you talking about?

- You didn't tell me she was a hooker...

and that she did porno films and had sex

with hundreds and hundreds of men...

and women and who the hell

knows what else!

- I thought it would prejudice you.

- What?

How did you find out?

I-l call my friends up and I tell 'em

I got this girl that I wanna marry.

They have me over for a few drinks and

my friend Ray puts in this sexy video.

But I'm not really

into pornography, you know.

- I look on the screen and this

actress is up there: Judy Cum.

Kevin, I told you she had

dramatic aspirations.

- I flew off the handle.

- Oh, Christ. I thought

you were a broad-minded guy.

I came over here and she confessed to

everything, and then I-- and I hit her.

- You hit her? You hi--

- I was gonna break your neck, man!

- I don't believe this. You hit her?

- I don't believe this!

- You hit her? For Christ's--

- A little bit.

- God.

- I called my mother. I was upset,

so then she says I should come home.

- So I'm gonna get the hell

outta this place, man.

- I don't understand you.

You're a broad-minded guy.

People change. You gonna

hold her past against her?

- Yeah, I'm gonna--

A porno star!

- You love her, she loves you!

- What are you talking about?

- Forget it, man. It's over.

I told you from day one

the girl was not a virgin.

You didn't tell me

how many times though!

- Thanks for nothin', Lenny, man.

- Kevin!

Nah, man!

- He hit me.

I know, I-- I ran into him

downstairs and he--

Oh, Jesus, look at you.

God, does it feel terrible?

No, not really. Just my ulcer.

Your ulcer? Well, you know,

you shouldn't be drinking.

- Hmm.

- That's the worst--

Oh, God, look at that.

Boy.

- Remember you once said

we were a couple of losers?

- Yeah.

Well, I think

that's definitely true.

- Why? What happened to you?

Amanda left me.

Oh. I'm sorry, Lenny.

Would you like a drink?

Mmm. No.

What's, uh-- What's--

What's the matter?

I-- I don't know.

Was she great?

You can tell me.

Was she--

Was she great in bed?

- A woman with all that experience.

- I don't know.

I just know that suddenly

I really miss Amanda.

But wait!

See who approaches!

There you are!

Where have you been?

I've been looking for you

all over.

I was just out drinking

and thinking about everything.

Oh, Lenny, I'm sorry.

I, uh-- I was up all night

thinking how much I hurt you...

and how much

I'd messed us up for good,

and the thought

of not being with you.

I love you.

I don't love Jerry at all.

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