Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates Page #11

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I have so many good ideas.

At my last job, I was on fire with ideas.

Huh? Actually, I need a new partner...

because Dave is bailing on me

to draw things.

Would you wanna...

maybe come work for me?

Really?

What do you know about liquor?

Um, only that it's delicious and I love it.

And those are

the two things you need to know.

- You are hired.

- Great. When do I start?

You can start right away...

but just know that there will be

some late nights.

Keep it in your pants, okay?

If we're going to work together,

let's just...

keep it professional.

Okay.

- We'll keep it professional, then.

- Good.

- All right.

- Good.

- Okay.

- Okay.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

- Are you sure?

- I don't know.

What?

- What'd you say?

- What?

Love me tender

Love me sweet

Never let me go

You have made my life complete

I don't.

Love me tender

Love me true

All my dreams fulfilled

For my darlin' I love you

Tatiana said this was gonna happen.

You got my groove back.

Really?

That's the sweetest thing

anyone's ever said to me.

I like you.

Wait. There's people everywhere.

- Let them watch.

- Mmm. Okay.

Whoa!

Hi, everyone.

Excuse us. Could we have

your attention, please?

My husband and I...

want to thank

four very incredible people...

for saving the day.

Mike and Dave have asked

to say a few words...

so we would like to invite them up.

Come on, boys.

Thank you, Jeanie.

We never got to give our speech

at the rehearsal dinner.

Because we ruined it. With fights.

But we just wanted

everybody here to know...

exactly how we feel about you.

Lights.

Did you know this was coming?

You are so beautiful

So beautiful

Aww.

To me

Aww.

Can't you see?

You're so beautiful

This is real beautiful, man.

You're everything I hoped for

- In a little sister!

- Oh!

You're everything I need

Everything that I need

They're kind of good.

You are so beautiful

As a couple. Right guys?

Oh!

To me

And to you.

And to you. To all of us.

You're beautiful, Jeanie!

Dave, everybody.

He's gonna draw!

Love you!

So sweet.

Thought they were gonna blow it.

They did not.

That's good.

This is how we do it

This is how we do it

This is how we do it

This is how we do it

It's Friday night

Oh, you don't throw...

And I feel all right

The party's here on the west side

So I reach for my forty and I turn it up

Designated driver got the keys to my truck

- Hit the shore 'cause I'm faded

- Faded

Honey on the streets saying

Monty, yo, we made it

I'm kinda buzzed and it's all because

This is how we do it

South Central does it like nobody does

This is how we do it

All right.

To all my neighbors, you got much flavor

This is how we do it

# StangleBenoit2016.

Hell yeah!

Oh, God!

Well...

I picked a bad pose, guys.

Fireworks!

These are for you, Jeanie!

Fireworks close the show!

Those are from China, those fireworks.

You idiots! You f***ing...

This is cool.

I didn't know you could do it this way.

Oh...

I'm done.

F***. Holy sh*t.

Okay.

That was great. Good job.

I'm so behind right now

on Game of Thrones.

I don't even know what's happening

with Khaleesi and her Dothraki boyfriend.

Okay. Well he's dead, and so is Jon Snow.

Jon Snow?

F*** that dude.

I'm taller than him anyways.

Saw him.

I just found out some spelunker

went dunkin' in your bunker.

You are fresh as a f***ing dick

in the morning.

That's not that fresh.

Have you ever sucked a dick

in the morning?

I brush my teeth with dick, girl.

- Alright...

- What?

Oh. Fox don't like that joke?

I'm gonna throw up. You look like meat!

Inner dialogue, inner dialogue.

I once got lockjaw so bad

that I was sucking a homeless man's thumb.

Dave actually had to

come get me from the hospital...

because they found 13 Pokemon pugs

and a skimmer...

shoved up my butthole.

I just had to wait to poop them out.

Pikachu.

Pikachu.

Charmander.

That's okay. No, no. Keep your dick in.

For most of my life,

I thought goat cheese...

was a slang term

for cheese that's gone bad.

I'd see moldy cheese and I'd be, like,

"Dude, that cheese is goat."

Like, "Get that goat cheese

off the counter."

You look like a deconstructed taco.

Like carnival food.

Like the waffle that the chef would just go,

"We're throwing that away."

What are we doing?

And the home

Of the

Brave

Play ball, Mike.

You know we saw my nigga

Mike and me forever

It's the Stang life, b*tch

Stang life, getting rich

Selling f***ing liquor quick

Mike and me forever

It's the Stang life, b*tch

Stang life

I will never die I'm a Stangle, b*tch

Hunchback of Notre D on the B

Flying f***ing girls

to my sister's wedding at the beach

Now we in first class seats

Couldn't hold me back, G

Jeanie Stangie being wild

Sippin' Cristal, sippin', sippin' Cristal

Sippin', sippin' Cristal

Jeanie, Jeanie, Jeanie Beanie Weanie

Gettin' married with Eric

Guaranteed he's got a big, big weenie

I'm proud of my little sister

Proud that she got a wedding ring

And a necklace, Eric you're my brother now

So that means I'm kinda black

Oh, wait. Not really. I'm white, man.

I'm just happy to be

related to you, honestly.

- Shout out to Eric.

- Eric!

I be like Superman, let me out the cage

I got out of my cast

and I flipped the page

And now I'm drawing comic books

like I used to do

Kinda cool,

Little sister Jeanie getting married too

Mike and Dave forever

It's the Stang life, b*tch

Stang life, getting rich,

selling f***ing liquor quick

Mike, Mike and Dave forever

It's the Stang life, b*tch

Stan g life

I will never die, I'm a Stangle, b*tch

Yeah, we put the wedding back together

First we broke it up but we made it better

Nobody makes fun of me in any way

'Cause I got Mike by my side,

and you know what he say

Scoliosis, now I'm f***ing yo b*tch

Scoliosis, now I'm f***in' two chicks

Scoliosis, vroom vroom vroom

Comin' through the jungle at you like boom

Mike and Dave Stangle on the ATV

- We're gonna die

- It's my girls and me

My crew and us, we just cruisin'

Doin' f***in' backflips

off jumps guaranteed

Ran over my sister's face

- It was kinda wack

- My bad

But you know what? We came back from that

You're getting married now and it's okay

You're soiurassic, you're so fantastic

Mike and Dave forever

It's the Stang life, b*tch

Stan g life, getting rich,

selling f***ing liquor quick

Mike, Mike and Dave forever

It's the Stang life, b*tch

Stang life, I will never die

I'm a Stangle, b*tch

My boy Dave, puttin' pen to paper

Trying to get this damn label off

Like Aftermath?

Vanilla Ice remodeled my house

Told Dave and I we should start rappin'

My brother's the best white rapper

...Eminem!

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