Mindhorn Page #9

of evidence to uncover the truth.

And here comes the baddie.

Oh, no.

[grunts, then crowd cheering]

Oh-ho-ho. Wonderful look-a-like there.

Doesn't she look like Manx TV's

very own Pat Deville?

[engine revving]

Go, go, go!

I can't make it go.

I knew you hadn't passed your test,

you naughty liar.

You can take my woman,

but you can't take my f***ing car.

-Can't make it go!

-The handbrake's on.

[Richard] Where's the handbrake?

-It's over there.

-You're like a Formula champion.

Oh, sh*t!

[crowd groans]

[man] Fantastic!

Full marks to the stuntman.

I wasn't ready.

-I can't actually drive.

-Get out.

I never learnt.

-[Pat] Oh, shut up!

-[Richard] I never had to.

I was driven everywhere,

I didn't have to bother.

Hi. Yep, hello.

[man]

And here's the baddie retrieving her gun.

-[Pat] Get in the car!

-What?

-[gunshot]

-Oh!

[man] Classic!

And now the nail-biting finale.

[gunshot]

Oh, bad luck, baddie, and that's Mindhorn.

Winner of the day in my view.

Great stuff.

[yelling]

We're flying to the truth!

[Melly squawking]

[Richard] What are we doing?

It's a dead end.

Where are we?

This is your cove, Mindhorn.

-What?

-Where do we go from here?

Well, the tunnels.

-Melly.

-Melly, come on, come on.

[groaning]

[Pat] What's wrong?

That was-- That was great, wasn't it?

You've been shot.

[Richard] You're bleeding.

No, no, no, don't worry.

It's fake blood.

Oh, no, that's there.

We have to get you some help.

I'm dying, Mindhorn.

No. No, you're not.

This is the end.

-No.

-Go on without me. Leave me here.

I'm not leaving you.

Because I'm a good partner?

You're the best damn partner

a man could ask for, Kestrel.

Your parents would be proud of you.

I'm proud of you.

Thanks, Mindhorn.

It's been an honor to be your partner.

Well, it's the best 15 minutes of my life.

Here's the copy of the tape.

Now go.

Promise me...

you'll clear my name, Mindhorn.

I promise.

And promise me...

you two will finally get it together.

I'm sorry, I can't promise you that.

I mean... yes.

Give him a kiss, Angela.

One last thing, Mindhorn.

Tell me the truth

about Richard Thorncroft.

Who is he?

Let's just say

he's someone I used to know.

Right. That's...

You poor, deluded fool.

I am Richard Thorncroft.

At least he didn't die in vain.

What the hell is this?

Yep. It's Plasticine.

Yep. It's a Plasticine copy.

[laughing]

It's Plasticine.

[screaming]

Quick.

[grunting]

[Richard on recording]

It's time for the Apocalypse of Justice.

[rocks clattering]

Baines, don't shoot.

We've got the tape.

Richard has it. It's safe.

I'll take you to him.

Maybe we could strike a deal.

-I don't wanna see the mayor go down.

-Pat, is that the best you can do?

I thought you were a good actress.

[Richard] She's good enough.

Lose the piece.

Turn around.

Slowly.

Hands in the air.

Now who's holding all the aces?

[Richard shouts]

Me, I think.

-You idiot!

-I didn't know she was gonna do that.

[gunshot]

[grunts]

No!

Patricia!

Patricia, Patricia.

Richard.

I'm so sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

I never knew

you wrote me all those letters.

Shh. That doesn't matter now.

Clive hid them from me.

What a wanker.

I'm sorry that I never believed you.

I'm sorry.

I love you, Richard.

[coughing]

F***ing hell.

Where's the tape, Richard?

There is no tape.

It's fake.

Like everything else in my life!

Without her, I may as well be dead.

[Richard groaning]

Just a figure of speech.

Why?

Why?

The mayor's my uncle...

so I've gotta clean up his mess.

Family's family.

My family runs Man.

Call an ambulance.

It's not too late.

I can forget.

-What, that I killed Moncrief?

-Yeah, that.

I-- I can pretend I don't know that.

I can pretend.

-You're not that good an actor.

-[Richard grunts]

[man] Baines!

You all right?

He shot Pat!

He killed her

and then he tried to kill me and I, uh...

[sirens wailing]

I had to take him down!

I had to take him down!

-Baines?

-Chief.

There was nothing I could do. It was--

There was nothing I could do.

Nice working with you again.

What's going on, Thorncroft?

[Baines on recording]

The mayor's my uncle,

so I've gotta clean up his mess.

-[Richard] I can forget.

-[Baines]That I killed Moncrief?

-Yeah.

-You're not that good an actor.

Aren't I?

Heh.

-[Clive] Oh, hey, now.

-[Jasmine] Mom.

-[Clive] Hey, hey. Not cool.

-[Pat] Jasmine.

-Both sets of keys, give them to me.

-Think about what you're doing.

Keys now. Do it or I'll blow her away.

Get your filthy hands off my daughter.

[laughing] She's not your daughter.

She's Windjammer's daughter.

[Pat] Clive, do something.

-I'm not wearing the appropriate footwear.

-Stand down, Clive.

It's time I did my own stunts.

It's Ginga time.

This...

is the Ginga.

[gun shots]

[shouting]

[gun shots continue]

I'm moving between the air.

I'm here.

I'm the bringer of the Ginga!

And that's capoeira.

Jas.

The mayor was her uncle.

Seems I was right

about the limited gene pool.

[both laughing]

I am sorry

that I rode you so hard back then.

I hope we can put our differences

behind us.

I will if you will.

And, if it helps at all,

I was pretty wasted all those years ago.

I don't even remember

that night with your wife.

-What night with my wife?

-That's the spirit.

Oh, my God, Richard, that was so brave.

It's a miracle that you weren't shot.

Ah, no more lies. I have to be honest.

I knew there were blanks in that gun.

Um... No, no, this is Baines' gun.

That was live ammunition.

[Pat] Richard.

I've got you.

You've got me, all right.

And that is the truth.

[chuckles]

["Can't Handcuff the Wind" playing]

We had some fun together

But I never

I never promised you forever

No, no, no

You can't handcuff the wind

But if you try, you're gonna fail

It's like trying

To put thunder in jail

You can't handcuff the wind

But if you try, you're gonna fail

It's like trying

To put thunder in jail

You can't handcuff the wind

I feel the pull of the open road

I'm headin' out into the night

Gotta loosen up your grip, girl

You're holding on a little too tight

We roll the dice

We played the game

Now every card's been turned

Girl, if you're trying to hold onto fire

You're gonna get burned

You can't handcuff the wind

And if you try, you're gonna fail

It's like tryin'

To put thunder in jail

You can't handcuff the wind

And if you're trying to fence me in

I'll break down those fences

And run like a stallion in the night

I'm gonna burn so bright

Like a white hot flame

Till everybody knows my name

The open road, she calls my name

There's itching in my feet

I got an engine that you can't tame

Even with your mouth so sweet

A thousand kisses and sad goodbyes

But it's too late for any more

The ferry to the mainland

Leaves at six

I gotta be there 20 minutes before

You can't handcuff the wind

And if you try, you're gonna fail

It's like trying

To put thunder in jail

You can't handcuff the wind

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