Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous Page #4

Year:
2005
1,169 Views


I'm in the presence of royalty.

Oh, no, sir, I'm not queen,

just runner-up.

I would like to present to you

Agent Sam Fuller.

- Fuller.

- Sir.

- Joel Myers, Janine and Pam.

- Joel, Janine, Pam.

Why don't we get you to the hotel

while I give the agents a debriefing.

Oh, that's too bad. It's been months

since I've had a good debriefing.

Although, I'm really more

of a boxers man.

Okay, wrong audience.

Agent Hart, Agent Fuller,

this is Agent Foreman. He's your liaison.

- You need anything, Jeff is your boy.

- Good.

Welcome to Las Vegas

When my girlfriend found out that I would

be working with you, she almost died.

Yeah, she's an agent too.

She actually thought

that I was gonna fall for you.

- I told her... I said, "Janet, there's no way... "

- Foreman, we talked about this.

Sorry, sir. Anyway, you're obviously

too old for me, so...

Oh, good, well, that's a load off.

Frazier and Fields make an appearance

at a senior center for a program...

...where the elderly spend time with kids.

Mr. Fields' mother is there.

I think what you're doing here...

...shows that different generations

have so much to learn from each other.

I mean, I know I learned a lot

from my grandmother...

...specifically, how to kill a chicken.

And even though it wasn't something

I enjoyed doing...

...I'll never forget the sound

of their death squawks.

But if I had to kill a chicken,

I'd know how.

They finish their appearance.

Head for the limo,

where they're attacked and kidnapped.

We got this video

from a surveillance camera.

All we have is two hooded figures, the

make of the truck and a fake license plate.

We talked to the limo driver, but he says

he didn't see anything. And that's it.

These are your briefing folders.

Hart, you have a press conference

at your hotel at 0900 tomorrow morning.

- Call me if there's any questions.

- Sir?

- We have to find her.

- I'll find her.

I know we're on a tight schedule...

...but if you guys wanna see any shows,

just let me know. Janet can get us tickets.

I don't know how she does it,

but she does it.

She's really great.

Expert marksman. She bakes.

Oh, almost forgot.

Here are your coded ID cards.

You're gonna need these to get into

the Bureau. And here are your earpieces.

We're... Thanks.

We're gonna be on frequency 1145.

Sorry, that is not FBI issue.

That's a sweater that I bought for Janet

for her birthday.

And that's the hat that goes with it.

Argyle. She's Scottish.

Janet McCarren.

Look, I'm sorry. I'm just really in love.

Where's the best place

for me to throw up?

Well, I am thrilled for you, Jeff.

Because, unlike Agent Fuller,

I, too, am carbon-based.

The Venetian Hotel.

Miss Hart!

What a fantastic pleasure. I am Roberto

Fenice, manager of the Venetian Hotel.

- Oh, hello.

- Your wish is my command.

Oh, well, I wish you wouldn't kiss

my watch. It's not water-resistant.

Although it's more action

than I've had in months, so go ahead.

- Miss Hart, you are delicious.

- Mr. Fenice.

Hi, I'm Agent Foreman.

This is Agent Sam Fuller.

- Oh, my gosh! It's Gracie Hart!

- You're kidding!

- Where?

- Right there!

Gracie!

Gracie! Hey! Grac...

Fuller!

- Oh, my!

- Fuller!

All right, down! Down!

Too much, too much, too much.

Fuller, Fuller.

Fuller, I don't think you fully understand

the concept of "too much"!

Hey, McDonald told me

to keep people off you.

And I don't think grandpa's coming back.

At least, not under his own power.

Maybe we should've stayed

at Treasure Island, huh?

- You don't see that in Jersey.

- It's the best.

A ships sinks, and there's all

these scantily clad sailors around.

- Makes me wanna join the Navy.

- Yeah, you are just what they're looking for.

Hey, Hart, you sure this suite

is big enough for you?

I can fit my entire room

inside your steam shower.

Feel free to move in there.

Yeah, right. Right, let's go over

this schedule for tomorrow.

- Gracie?

- Yes.

Gracie, there's something

about Cheryl on the TV.

We just received what appears to be

a ransom video...

...which was e-mailed to our studios

a few hours ago from an anonymous source.

It was sent from an unknown location.

We've been kidnapped.

And there's two men here...

...who say they're going to kill us

by Friday at midnight...

...unless they're paid $5 million

by the pageant.

Once again, that's $5 million

by Friday at midnight.

I can't just sit here. I have to do something.

I should just see...

You should do exactly

what you came here to do, Hart.

Press conference at 9.

Limos.

Limos, limos, limos.

- Call for you, sir. Line two.

- Thank you.

- Collins.

- Yes, sir, hi, this is Gracie Hart.

I was looking at the visuals,

and I noticed that the limousine...

- We talked to the limo driver.

- I realize that, but...

- We've got something on aerial.

- Don't worry about it.

Get some rest.

Have a nice press conference.

Okay.

Thank you, Janet.

Yeah, hi, is this Desert Limo Service?

Yeah, I'm trying to locate

one of your drivers.

A Mr. Tom Abernathy.

Hi, is Gracie Hart there, please?

I have FBI Director Wilson on the line.

We need to speak with her ASAP, please.

Is Gracie Hart here? Gracie Hart?

- Is somebody calling for Gracie Hart?

- Yes, ma'am.

I'm Gracie Hart.

- I recognize her! Gracie Hart's here!

- Yes?

- It's FBI Director Wilson, ASAP. ASAP.

- Director Wilson. Thank you. Hart here.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. I'm on it.

Thank you very much.

Okay, sir, bye-bye.

- Would you please sign this?

- Oh, sure, I...

My mom loves you.

- And she does not love easily.

- I love you too, Gracie.

- You're fabulous.

- You've got such great...

Thank you, guys, so much

for your support.

I'm here on business to talk to this man

about the Miss United States kidnapping.

- Mr. Abernathy?

- Yeah?

What did you do?

He was driving the limousine

that Cheryl Frazier and Stan Fields were in...

...the day they were kidnapped.

I wanted to know why you parked so far

away from the entrance of the home.

Yeah, why would you do that? Why?

So if I could show you something...

Well, it's not these. It's not my badge.

Well, what do you...?

It's my deployment schedule...

...and if you can look where it says

"tomorrow's events. "

- Yeah, go ahead, read aloud.

- "Nine a. m. Press conference...

...at the Venetian"?

- Speak up, we cannot hear you!

He said, "9 a. m. Press conference

at the Venetian"...

...where I will be in front

of channels two, four...

I mean, well, everybody's invited.

And I will probably have to say

that Tom Abernathy is a suspect.

Why are you doing this to me?

Because I wanna find my friends.

And because you are sweating

in all three stress spots...

...that people routinely start sweating in

before they undergo public humiliation.

I had it on Letterman.

Okay, everybody,

I would love to stay and chat...

...but I have to go pick out my outfit

for the press conference.

- Oh, what time was that again?

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Marc Lawrence

Marc Lawrence (born Max Goldsmith, February 17, 1910 – November 28, 2005) was an American character actor who specialized in underworld types. He has also been credited as F. A. Foss, Marc Laurence and Marc C. Lawrence. more…

All Marc Lawrence scripts | Marc Lawrence Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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