Miss Me This Christmas Page #10

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Ursula from "The Little Mermaid"... told me

Ursula... yes, Ursula from "The Little

Mermaid" told me that I wouldn't make it in.

"The Little Mermaid"... told me that I

wouldn't make it in Mathematical Economics.

That I wouldn't make it in Mathematical

Economics. So my counselor signed me up for.

Mathematical Economics. So my counselor

signed me up for a Psych Eval.

So my counselor signed me up for a

Psych Eval. Yes. [ Laughs ] Yes.

A Psych Eval. Yes. [ Laughs ] Yes.

As ridiculous as it may sound,

Yes. [ Laughs ] Yes. As ridiculous as

it may sound, you'd be surprised what.

As ridiculous as it may sound, you'd be

surprised what 10 one-hour sessions will do for

you'd be surprised what 10

one-hour sessions will do for you.

10 one-hour sessions will do for you.

No way!

You. No way! Yes way.

No way! Yes way. My

therapist was determined to.

Yes way. My therapist was determined

to get to the bottom of my gender.

My therapist was determined to get

to the bottom of my gender issues.

Get to the bottom of my gender issues.

Okay, so what did you end up

issues. Okay, so what

did you end up doing?

Okay, so what did you end up doing?

Well, uh, a little bit of

doing? Well, uh, a little bit of

this, a little bit of that, then.

Well, uh, a little bit of this, a little bit

of that, then I began to focus on engineering

this, a little bit of that, then I began to

focus on engineering and computer architecture.

I began to focus on engineering and computer

architecture. I found a way to increase the

and computer architecture. I found a way to

increase the speed in multi-core processors.

I found a way to increase the speed in

multi-core processors. Multi-core processors?

Speed in multi-core processors. Multi-core

processors? I increased the speed in.

Multi-core processors? I increased

the speed in operating systems.

I increased the speed in operating

systems. I make computers faster.

Operating systems. I make

computers faster. Oh!

I make computers faster. Oh!

Oh. Wow. That's nice of you.

Oh! Oh. Wow. That's nice of you.

Well, my accountant tends to.

Oh. Wow. That's nice of you. Well, my

accountant tends to think so, as well.

Well, my accountant tends to think so,

as well. Do you get girls with that

think so, as well. Do you

get girls with that tech talk?

Do you get girls with that tech talk?

All the time. [ Laughs ]

Tech talk? All the time. [ Laughs ] No.

No. Not one. Not at all.

All the time. [ Laughs ] No. No. Not

one. Not at all. I have, uh, no game.

No. No. Not one. Not at all. I have, uh,

no game. I have uh, Pop Warner game.

I have, uh, no game. I have uh, Pop

Warner game. But it's who I am.

I have uh, Pop Warner game. But it's who

I am. Like being a unique and amazing.

But it's who I am. Like being a unique

and amazing woman is who you are.

Like being a unique and amazing woman is who

you are. I thought you said you had no

woman is who you are. I thought

you said you had no game.

I thought you said you had no game.

That was pretty good.

Game. That was pretty good.

And you just met me.

That was pretty good. And you just met me.

And I'm crushing it.

And you just met me. And I'm

crushing it. Now, that's power.

And I'm crushing it. Now, that's power.

Mm, that's Cabernet.

Now, that's power. Mm,

that's Cabernet. Touch.

Mm, that's Cabernet. Touch.

Speaking of which, let's go.

Touch. Speaking of which, let's

go ahead and, uh, top you off.

Speaking of which, let's go ahead and,

uh, top you off. [ Cellphone vibrating ]

You gonna get that? Regina.

Uh, no. No, no. I...

Regina. Uh, no. No, no.

I... Yes, to the Cabernet.

Uh, no. No, no. I... Yes, to the

Cabernet. [ Chuckles ] All right.

Yes, to the Cabernet. [

Chuckles ] All right. To Ursula.

Regina, it's me. I have

some papers for you to sign.

I have some papers for you to sign.

I swung by the house, but you

sign. I swung by the house,

but you weren't there.

I swung by the house, but you

weren't there. Where are you?

Weren't there. Where are you?

You know what, just, um...

Where are you? You know what, just, um...

Just call me.

No, don't put more whipped cream on it!

Ugh. Yes. Yes. Yes. [ Laughs ]

Cream on it! Ugh. Yes. Yes.

Yes. [ Laughs ] Ugh.

Yes. Yes. Yes. [ Laughs ] Ugh.

You better be happy it's.

Ugh. You better be

happy it's Christmas.

You better be happy it's Christmas.

All right.

Christmas. All right. Mm.

God, I love Christmas.

All right. Mm. God, I love Christmas.

It's gonna be different this.

Mm. God, I love Christmas. It's

gonna be different this year, though.

It's gonna be different this year, though.

I guess it's gonna be different

year, though. I guess it's gonna

be different every year after...

I guess it's gonna be different every year

after... [ Chuckles ] You're very cute

every year after... [ Chuckles

] You're very cute when you chew.

[ Chuckles ] You're very cute when

you chew. Franklin used to always...

When you chew. Franklin

used to always... Sorry.

Franklin used to always... Sorry.

[ Clears throat ] You don't.

Sorry. [ Clears throat ]

You don't have to be sorry.

[ Clears throat ] You don't

have to be sorry. Um...

have to be sorry. Um... Franklin

he was your husband?

Um... Franklin... he was your husband?

Is. Six years.

Franklin... he was your husband? Is.

Six years. And 19 more days.

Is. Six years. And 19 more days.

Look, I'm sorry, this is all new.

And 19 more days. Look, I'm sorry, this

is all new to me, and so far, it sucks.

Look, I'm sorry, this is all new to me, and so

far, it sucks. Yeah, well, I could teach you

to me, and so far, it sucks. Yeah, well, I

could teach you a thing or two about that.

Yeah, well, I could teach you a thing

or two about that. Oh, really?

A thing or two about that. Oh, really?

No. No, no, no, no.

Oh, really? No. No, no, no, no.

That's not... [ Laughs ]

No. No, no, no, no. That's not

[ Laughs ] That's not, uh...

That's not... [ Laughs ] That's not, uh...

That's not what I was talking.

That's not, uh... That's not

what I was talking about.

That's not what I was talking about.

Dessert preference.

About. Dessert preference.

It's a great way to determine.

Dessert preference. It's a great

way to determine compatibility.

It's a great way to determine

compatibility. You know what, it's okay,

compatibility. You know what, it's

okay, Ulysses, it's getting late.

You know what, it's okay, Ulysses,

it's getting late. Listen. Apple pie.

Ulysses, it's getting late. Listen.

Apple pie. No.

Listen. Apple pie. No.

Lemon meringue.

No. Lemon meringue. Yes.

Lemon meringue. Yes.

Cheesecake?

Yes. Cheesecake?

Just the crust.

Cheesecake? Just the crust.

Chocolate cake.

Just the crust. Chocolate cake.

Oh, murder for it.

Chocolate cake. Oh, murder for it.

There it is... total match.

Oh, murder for it. There

it is... total match. [ Laughs ]

There it is... total match. [

Laughs ] My parents used to share.

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