Miss Tanakpur Hazir Ho Page #8

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marks above her eyes.

Matang Singh, do you see a crescent?

- No sir, I can't see any crescent.

- Do you see any of the marks?

Do you think that I am a fool'?

Instead of the victim,

you are presenting an impostor!

Such a big fraud!

What has happened is wrong,

somebody has fooled us.

I say just shut up!

- Mr. Bhanwaringh, I want to see the real

victim, is that clear to you'? - Yes Sir.

- What yes Sir'?

- Sorry sir.

- Just shut up!

- Sorry sir.

Sorry sir!

Please listen to the whole story, Sir.

- Sir what is this'?

- I'll ask the Pradhan.

Pradhan, where is the real buffalo?

I'm 10 + 2.

She had become lame, so I sold her.

What are you saying?

You sold the victim?

Are you trying to fool the court'?

What difference would it make?

We thought we'd present

a better buffalo.

This one is more expensive.

- She gives 25 Itrs. of milk.

- What do I do with 25 Itrs. of milk?

Who did you sell her to'?

- Good afternoon sir!

- Forget the greetings.

- Are you Jogna?

- Yes sir!

Did you buy a buffalo from Sualal?

- Yes I did.

- Where is it'?

- Who'?

- The buffalo!

I sold her off.

Why did you buy her if

you were going to sell her'?

He tricked me and

sold me that buffalo.

First of all, she was injured. To

top it off she isn't producing milk.

- How would she produce

milk from the top'? - What'?

- How would she produce...

- Just stop it.

Who did you sell her to'?

See all those buffaloes in the water'?

One of them is your Miss Tanakpur!

How will we know which

one is Miss Tanakpur?

- You'll only know once they come out.

- And when will they come out'?

- They'll come out

once they are ready to.

Do you want us to wait here till then'?

Go get her out!

Once a buffalo enters the water...

...not even her father

can get her out!

Don't be stubborn!

Tell her the police is here!

Sir, you don't understand!

If a buffalo was that smart,

wouldn't she join the police force'?

Okay why don't you get into the water,

we'll give you some money.

No, I'm not going into that water.

Didn't you understand

what Sir is saying?

I did, but do you

know what's in the water'?

The sewage from the whole village!

- Forgive me I can't do this.

- Listen to me!

Listen!

Listen to us!

We'll pay you!

- Rambeer...

Rambeer...

Rambeer...

Yes.

Get into the water.

- Me'?

- Yes

In school didn't you eat the dirt

inside your nose over a 100 rupee bet'?

I was a kid then.

And now that you are older,

take 500 rupees.

Come...

Go jump in.

Quickly, take your clothes off.

But sir...

Don't think about it too much.

But sir, how will I identify her?

I'll shout out the

identification marks from here...

...and you just need to check them.

First her horns, then her chest...

...then her neck, her forehead...

...then her udders.

But sir, how will I identify

her udders under the water'?

I am sitting here to tell you!

I'll keep telling you.

Come on, go. Here, take off your hat.

Go confidently!

Go in, no problem!

- Go in!

Don't worry,

I'll get you some rum later.

Her horns protrude outwards

and then twist downwards.

Does she have hair on her head?

This one is bald!

Check the other one...

- Turn her around!

- It isn't this one!

Oh no! This one's a bull!

- You'll have to come in sir,

it's very difficult!

I would have come in but

I can feel a cold coming on.

- You have a cold and I will get one,

what do you want me to do'?

Why do I take so many bribes?

Here, tie her here.

She was so happy in the water.

She refused to come out of that lake.

Scrub her till she shines!

Scrub her!

What have you done ma'?

You're making these

garlands to offer God'?

What has God given you'?

He's sitting there deaf and blind,

damning us to hell.

I was making them so

that I could sell them.

At least I would make a few rupees.

- I'd put so much effort into them!

You've ruined everything!

How long can we last like this'?

I would prefer death

over this existence.

Hear all! Hear all!

- There is an announcement!

At tomorrow's village

council meeting...

- Arjun Kumar and family are asked

to present themselves!

- These are the Village Council's orders!

- Hear all!

None of the women from our village are

permitted to go to the Sunday market.

- No woman is allowed to wear jeans.

- No woman is allowed

to wear t- shirts.

No woman is to be seen in public

with her head uncovered...

...and if she does, she will

face the same punishment as her.

- If we don't protect

the modesty of our women...

...then who will'?

Long live India!

Hail the Motherland!

Hail the Motherland!

Hail the Motherland!

OK.

Friends!

And now the most important

decision of today.

Regarding the Arjun Ramprasad's

indecent behaviour...

...the police and the court are

conducting their own investigation...

...but this village council...

...will mete out its own punishment.

What are you doing'?

Settle down everyone!

Wait. . .wait.

Calm down.

- The village council has decided...

...that Arjun will

have to marry that buffalo.

What'?

What is this nonsense?

Quiet down boy!

- Quiet'?

- What are...

- Shut up!

It you disagree, then the village will

boycott you and cut off all your supplies!

Maya Ma'am'?

You're come here?

What have you done Arjun?

This is the Pradhan's plan

to humiliate you, to ruin your life.

You won'f be able to show your face

in society if you marry that buffalo.

Your job, your sister's marriage...

everything will be at a standstill.

Everything's at a standstill even now.

At least my family

won't die of starvation.

Okay...then I'll

tell everyone the truth.

No Maya ma'am.

Society is willing to turn a blind eye

to a man's indiscretions...

but not to a woman's.

Arjun!

No Arjun...

The wedding of Miss

Tanakpur and Arjun.

What is this'?

A buffalo marrying a man? Are

you crazy? This is against the law!

This can't happen!

This is the village council's decision

and it's decision...

...is higher than that of the law.

The highest is the Supreme Court...

...and the Supreme

Court won't allow this.

The Supreme Court also says that,

'In India, food and water...

...is everybody's fundamental

right.' Here this is for you.

Pradhanji your Bheema is amazing.

He always manages to make me happy.

So can we take Miss Tanakpur?

Take her. - We promise

to return her after the wedding.

- Take her!

Thank you.

Just remember one thing...

...if anything happens

to this buffalo...

...l'll first lose my job...

...and you'll all go to jail.

Don't worry, nothing is going

to happen to anybody.

Let me check her horn.

It's correct. Take her.

- Come along Miss Tanakpur!

- The tempo is parked there.

Congratulations Pradhanji!

Hope the wedding goes off well.

It will! Thank you!

Listen to me carefully...

...the right horn...

- Right.

- Right horn...

...goes out...

- and twists downwards...

- And twists behind...

Not behind! Again...

The right horn...

...goes out and then twists downwards.

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