Mission London Page #5

That's a f***ing orgasm if there was one.

Tomas, do you realize how many countries there are around the world...

...and all their stupid ridiculous politicians all suffering from the same complexes?

It's a goldmine!

Isn't it a bit risky?

Who are they going to complain to? It all in their interests to complain.

But they want extensive media coverage.

Her Majesty hates cheap publicity.

This will be an informal engagement, personal, intimate contact.

Boss, I'm getting the harder.

And of course, much more expensive.

Only the most select public will be present. The cream of the elite.

We'll choose them from the heraldic code.

Abso-f***ing-lutely!

Hey, Ivan!

Why are you dangling that

pike, for f***'s sake?!

You're ancient Bulgarian warriors.

You've just cut Nikifor's head off.

Again.

Keep up the pike, Ivan!

What the hell are you doing?

Stop!

Our Patron, Mrs. Selianska

is here to see us.

I'm here to inform you...

We're going to London.

Everything is arranged.

You're going to dance in front

of an audience you've only dreamed of.

What? She'll come?

Yes.

- It's confirmed.

- Great.

By the way, I'm holding talks with

a potential presenter. Know who?

Who? - Chavdar Tulumanov.

The Bulgarian De Niro.

He's in London, as you know.

He's a big celebrity.

Is he going to accept?

Well, Chavo is a star, but

we used to live together.

Not to mention that the

Queen will attend it.

It's absolutely sure.

But this isn't everything.

It is going to be

spectacular this time.

I've introduced some

new elements.

World-class scenography.

No lifestyle decoration at all.

Just fire. Real explosion!

By the way... Let me

introduce you to our artist. Kalki.

He's also known as

"dancing with the fire".

Kalkin. Designer.

Designer.

Fire designer.

I'm more popular abroad.

This is my last installation.

"Ibiza by night."

Just imagine it. Ibiza island...

Prometey, blasting fire from his heart,

to proclaim the beginning of a new era.

The era of the flaming Aquarius.

A true fairy-scene of

fire and water.

Ragrade One.

Fire World magazine.

- Really interesting.

- You'll see.

We'll show damn

England how we do it.

Well done.

Again!

You're not taking this?

Take it, if it suits you.

Have you seen a folder here?

- What are you doing

at work exactly? - PR.

- So you got someone, huh?

- Maybe.

English?

Are you sure you haven't

seen any folder here?

What folder?

I'm not going through your stuff.

I must have left it

in the agency.

You want me to tell the

Embassador something, huh?

Bye!

Thank you for helping me with my bags.

That's no problem. I didn't know you live in Kensington.

Why are you moving?

Because it's a dump.

And I'm a princess.

I don't need your rubbish.

The Hunter and the Princess

Screenplay by Thomas Munroe

They are the same chips. There is no doubt, inspector.

So what the hell are they doing inside the swans in Hyde Park?

Quite clearly they've eaten them.

Monsters with beaks? Don't you start talking rubbish.

I mean they've eaten the chips. Not the ducks with the chips inside them.

Bastards, how are they doing?

They've got the technical competence. What I don't understand is the logic behind their actions.

Maybe some kind of demonstration.

The Animal Liberation Front.

Well, there's one chip we haven't found yet.

More likely they haven't found it. It might have even stopped working.

I'm not really sure that

Serbians like ducks, but...

We need to bag the money.

I don't care about the rest.

To be honest, Chinese

were the best option.

Well...

Even though I know one

Serbian who eats ducks.

It's Dragan, isn't he?

- You've been there too?

If it was pork,

it'd have been better.

What are we going to do with ducks?

They cannot be used for pljeskavica.

It doesn't work.

Ducks are not in our mentalitet.

F***.

You always screw up. Monkey!

Stay cool.

Rest in peace, Duck.

Good day.

I'm sorry, Mr. Embassador.

I'm almost finished.

Sorry but it was a big mess here.

Isn't this your colleague's area?

You want only her in charge

for your cabinet?

Yes, I do...

I do want to be clean.

Because she's not living here

anymore. She moved out.

How come she moved out?

She wasn't supposed to be here.

Why?

- Well, she quit university last year.

She shouldnt have been allowed

to work here, but

the secretary decided to leave her.

Look, I'm not interested in gossips.

Well, I'm just warning you.

Katya's doing something

very suspicious...

I think it's porn movies.

Have a look.

The boxes have arrived.

- What boxes?

Major Ullaf's boxes,

from Humanitarian Affairs.

Seventy seven boxes

have just arrived.

What is in them?

- I don't know.

- Then who knows?

I don't know.

I'll check them now.

I'm done.

"Hunter and Princess.

Script:
Tomas Munroe.

Would you like to play a little game, princess?

Everytime I hit a clay pigeon...

...you will remove an ??? clothing.

Such a hot afternoon...

...and you are so well dressed.

I would really like my brave hunter...

but I cannot.

The convoy has just arrived at the refugee camp...

and I have to give them instructions.

One paparazzi, two paparazzi,

three paparazzi, four paparazzi!

There will be failures

my first wedding night!

Habibi, I'm afraid, the Queen will not accept our marriage.

Not again!

We've already done it seven times!

They take you away from this horrible world!

It will persue us until our death.

Last!

I want to kill some more paparazzi, please!

I am completely exhausted!

It's not easy being a princess.

All the stupid f***ing things they made me do.

The f***ing idiot Munroe has gone too far this time!

Only someone with a sick mind could make fun of Diana like that.

Well, yeah. Why you do it for then?

You don't think that cleaning offices is anymore nicer.

At least I get paid well.

And you think you're gonna make a fortune out of this miserable business?

What do you suggest then? Robbing a bank?

I mean you are an intelligent girl. That's something I can suggest which can resolve all of our problems.

I'm talking about real money here, sister.

You're going to be playing decorating Christmas tree anytime soon.

Just take me home.

Human emotions are similar to earthquakes...

and can be rated between one and hundred...

depending on their intensity.

Everytime the number becomes smaller...

and so on until it gets down to zero.

Hello, Famous Connections, please wait.

What do you think you

are doing, Banicharov?

What?

We've again got duck

for dinner today.

We'll eat it. We've got to use

them for something.

That's nonsense.

It's an expensive food.

We shouldn't waste it like that.

You must sell it.

- Chavo is dealing with this.

- Get rid of this scum!

Hey, Nory...

How about giving

me a Big Ben?

I can't.

I have a headache.

How do you see this thing?

New costumes, special effects,

pyrotechnics...

Your show has cost me

almost as half of my campaign!

Excuse me? I want to remind

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