Mission London Page #6

you that my reception

is to be honored by her majesty

the Queen of Britain.

It's a once in your life event.

Perhaps I'd better come

with you in London, huh?

You've nothing to do there!

It is my initiative.

F***ing wankers! What's so ???

It's f***ing ridiculous. This is one role I've already played in real life.

You're doing quite good with

the vacuum cleaner, your Majesty.

You must have been successful

in dancing round a pylon

as well, I guess.

It seems that...

Playing the student role...

Isn't your best performance.

Oh, so...

It looks like Mr. Embassador

hired a princess.

- I'm not a client.

- Really?

It must be one of your

professional responsibilities.

Look, love...

It's not about your pretty bum.

Then what is it about?

Don't pretend to be stupid.

Someone is trying to scam me.

I have no idea what

you're talking about.

Let's stick to the script.

You're part of it.

Is that what you think?

Need gin with two ice cubes and lemon.

It's on me.

Very kind, handsome.

I'm a bit old to flirt with.

Wait a second, I'm damn too old to flirt with.

Where are you taking me? What're you doing? Please!

The Romanian National Day is coming up soon.

Any idea how we might get an invitation to their reception?

Well, you're going to f*** me up for this?

Who is this man? What happened?

Calm down, Helen! Calm down!

Your Excellency, you don't seem to be yourself tonight.

No, I'm not! You have lied to me! You are a fraud!

Tomas, would you mind taking the lady away. She has nothing to do with this.

Get her ??? immediately!

I think you could do with a nice glass of whiskey.

I insist that you return my money immediately!

Your Excellency, I don't know what you're talking about. You wanted a queen and you've got a queen.

I wanted the real queen.

But that's absurd.

I did assume for one moment that you would expect us to provide you with the real Queen Elizabeth.

Your Excellency, please calm down.

Take a seat. Relax, please. Calm yourself.

I thought you understood the nature of our business.

Famous Connections supplies look-alike models.

I thought you knew that. It was you who came to us if you recall.

I feel sure that you're going to like the show.

There won't be any show!

Are you terminating our agreement at the last moment after you've made such significant investments?

I'm not going to pay for this masquerade!

Whatever you decide, you will have to pay the contractual penalty.

Courage, Your Excellency. Have courage.

Nothing is being lost.

Think of your career. The concert is due to take place in a couple of weeks time.

How do you expect the Queen of England to be there?

The first lady will be so angry if the event is a failure.

Particularly once you've realized who is responsible for the failure.

Now, we are just facilitators.

But we can help you...

help yourself out of this predicament.

Through fraud?

The solution.

The only possible solution for someone in your situation.

You are the devil incarnate.

A little more whiskey?

And gin for me.

What's up with the press?

Why there's no one here?

This was a special requirement

from the palace.

We can't risk with that.

- Not even a column in an article?

No. Otherwise, our

agreement will be terminated.

Her Majesty is trying to

avoid cheap publicity.

I hate cheap publicity too.

I hate it.

- I know.

- I'm very nervous.

- I want everything to be perfect.

- I know.

- Even the slightest detail.

- I know.

People always miss something.

Oh, of course!

- Menu?

- I don't know.

You don't know...

F***.

Banicharov speaking.

Who're you?

Oh, yes.

Yes.

I'm coming.

Sandwiches?!

You're going to serve

her Majesty sandwiches?!

This is an absurd, Varadin!

Why? This country

has some sacred

standards regarding sandwiches.

Come in.

You wanted to discuss

the menu with me.

Fish, maybe.

At the Dutch Queen's

reception they served

sea-cat's tail with

orange sauce.

And a starter of oysters.

What does the Queen like?

Did anyone bother to find out

what the Queen likes? Huh?

Maybe just some traditional

Bulgarian dish.

Like carp dish.

- Carp dish?

Don't make me laugh,...

What was your name?

Banicharov.

Banicharov!

These people are aristocrats.

What about game?

The Queen likes hunting.

So it makes sense.

She must love game.

Ducks!

Wild ducks.

With blueberry sauce, fruits

and seed onions.

I'll make it incredible!

These ducks are not kosher.

So you won't take them?

No, I will, but for a different price.

How much?

But I have to admit that

they aren't really cheap.

They're a bit expensive.

You see...

Everything is possible.

What you need is

enthusiasm and professionalism.

... And some money.

Yeah. And some money.

It's a present from me to the entire Jewish population.

I told you that it's not kosher.

Stop!

Hey, cous.

You bastard. You're alive!

Long time no see, huh?

I'm glad you made it.

I know that you're busy.

But I knew you wouldn't miss it.

What do you think

about the role?

Well, a "role" is too strong

word but... Take it as a favor.

How are you doing? Working?

What are you up to at the moment?

I'm just relaxing.

I stay at home. My agent is

bringing some scripts to me to read.

You're a boss, huh?

You see? Huh?

Who's the fool now? Huh?

They'll get them for ?0 each.

You've finally made

something properly.

But I'll tell Chavo I sold

them for ?0... No, ?5...

You ain't telling him nothing.

The freezer was out of order,

ducks are gone. That's it.

That's good!

How did you enter in here?

Hello, Pasty.

- Hey, Chavo.

I have some great news.

Delicious gherkins.

Delicious!

Come with me.

I'll make you an offer.

We have work to do, Kostadin.

I sold the ducks, man.

Um, no.

So... some Jews got them.

?0 each.

That's fine but...

Something bad happened.

What happened?

They're f***ed.

The freezer was

out of order and...

- How come it was out of order?!

- Well... I don't know.

I'll go. Nory is waiting for me.

What are these things?

Calm down, man.

The situation is under control.

These are the effects

for the show. And you are?

Who gave you permission to

start a fire in the embassy?

Did you say "fire", man?

This is fire design.

Fire blasters!

Skydivers.

Do you know what

Mrs. Selianska said?

Everything multiplied by two.

Because... You shouldn't be

frugal of arts, man.

Punchev!

Let's check the fire alarm.

Kate, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to dismiss you.

I warned you to steer clear of those people.

All right, I'm gonna give you new roles to learn.

Any problems I have, are problems for you too.

Baron Mitovski...

Baron and Baroness Remulod...

Countess Fernandez...

Life is f***ing tough, babe.

Your Majesty, ladies and gentlemen...

I'm going to hell. What is this world coming to...

Wanking on a scale like this.

This evening you will the unique possibility...

of Bulgarian genius.

??? buy yourself this one thing but when an entire country gets up to it.

Good god!

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