MoDeRn WaRfArE 2 Page #4

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CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

Break’s over, Roach. Let's go.

ROACH:

This was a break? Mother of God, I’ve withered my fingers to the bone holding on for dear life!

They clamber up an ICE WALL, reenact a ridiculous scene from the movie VERTICAL LIMIT and then infiltrate an airbase occupied by ENEMY SOLDIERS to retrieve part of a CRASHED SATELLITE. ROACH bumbles around like an IDIOT and is SHOT REPEATEDLY.

ROACH:

Oh God, their guns shoot strawberry jam! IT’S IN MY EYES!

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

I think that's blood. Just go sit in a corner and wait for it to ooze off.

Then, CAPTAIN MACTAVISH' HAT flies off. ROACH starts LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY.

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

What? Is it the mohawk?

ROACH:

It's not the mohawk. It's your -- accent.

(Beat)

Okay, it's totally the mohawk. What the hell, dude? You think you're a World War 2 paratrooper or something?

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

Look, they wanted to give me a distinguishing visual characteristic, and a f***ing mohawk's the best they could come up with.

They find the SATELLITE stored in a hangar adjacent to a LAB where its ACS MODULE was analyzed.

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

Roach, go get the ACS module. It'll be whatever's glowing bright yellow.

ROACH:

Wait a second. The Russians took this satellite and emulated its technology specifically to avoid the U.S.' tracking systems and facilitate an invasion of its capital. But there are no grounds for hostilities unless, God forbid, some nutter soon plans to frame an American in a terrorist attack on Russian soil. So is Russia itself preparing an invasion regardless of any provocation?

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

Uhh -- you see -- the thing is -- oh hey, snowmobiles!

ROACH:

Snowmobiles? Awesome! Let’s spit physics in the face and make ludicrous jumps down steep hills and across gorges!

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

You can ride them one-handed while accurately firing a gun as well!

ROACH:

Can I reload using only one hand?

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

You can do anything as long as you look cool while doing it!

All of this HAPPENS. Then DEVELOPER INFINITY WARD forgets he just opened everybody’s ADRENAL GLANDS and cuts straight to the most IMPACTFUL SCENE IN THE GAME.

INT. ZAKHAEV AIRPORT - DAY

VLADIMIR MAKAROV and his MEN are about to seriously F*** SH*T UP.

VLADIMIR MAKAROV

Remember, no Russian. I'm looking at you, new guy I seemingly trust.

PRIVATE ALLEN:

Good thing I don't speak any Russian to begin with! So, there must be a reason we're in an elevator at a public airport wearing body armour and carrying a shitload of heavy weapons. I mean, a reason I haven't already inferred from all the pre-release hooplah surrounding this scene.

The elevator doors open to a CONCOURSE filled to the brim with INNOCENT CIVILIANS. Even though they have PUPPY-DOG EYES and show pictures of their LOVED ONES, they are all brutally KILLED without pause or regard.

VLADIMIR MAKAROV

Hey everybody! The new guy just killed three cops with one grenade! Mad props!

PRIVATE ALLEN:

Oh God, this is horrible!

DEVELOPER INFINITY WARD

We want you to feel the gut-wrenching conflict of a man forced to perform reprehensible and inhumane acts in order to maybe avert some greater threat which will end up happening anyway.

PRIVATE ALLEN:

Yeah, I’m not really feeling conflicted since I know any effort I take to stop this massacre from happening results in a game over scenario. Now I know what Sergeant Foley meant. He would scoff at you guys for firing from the hip, by the way. You're spraying bullets everywhere.

VLADIMIR MAKAROV

Sergeant Foley? We have an American traitor in our midst! Kill him!

PRIVATE ALLEN is SHOT in the FACE. VLADIMIR MAKAROV drives off in an ambulance which for some reason isn’t stopped by the POLICE TROOPS swarming into the airport.

EXT. RIO DE JANEIRO - DAY

By tracing back the SHELL CASINGS from VLADIMIR MAKAROV’s attack, TASK FORCE 141 finds a possible connection in an ARMS DEALER who is randomly BRAZILIAN.

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

What the f*** are we doing in Brazil all of a sudden?

GENERAL SHEPHERD

The developer really wanted a level set in a favela. Err -- I mean you’re tracking down a lead that is only required to set up the next plot point.

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

Those two seem kinda related.

ROACH:

If there’s anything I’ve learned so far, it’s that we can’t question orders. LET’S GO! HURRRRR!

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

Okay, just don't shoot the arms dealer. I feel like tackling him off a terrace and piledriving him onto a car roof.

This predictably HAPPENS. The ARMS DEALER is then TORTURED because F*** THAT GUY.

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

Nikolai, we're about to run through the favela while being shot at from f***ing everywhere. Meet us at the end.

NIKOLAI:

I've got a helicopter ready.

TASK FORCE 141 then spends much more time escaping the FAVELA. So much so that it gets its own LEVEL.

EXT. NORTHEASTERN VIRGINIA - EVENING

VLADIMIR MAKAROV’s terrorist attack leads to a RETALIATORY INVASION of the UNITED STATES. The RUSSIANS choose a BURGER TOWN as their primary point of attack, hitting AMERICA where it hurts. SERGEANT FOLEY and his squad are ordered to repel the attack, but they are all just STANDING AROUND LIKE HUMAN STATUES until PRIVATE RAMIREZ walks up to them.

PRIVATE RAMIREZ:

What's going on here?

SERGEANT FOLEY:

He's here! Okay guys, just like we rehearsed.

They begin their routine as PRIVATE RAMIREZ approaches.

SERGEANT FOLEY:

Ramirez, go kill that guy operating a UAV! Ramirez, protect me while I carry this nameless dignitary who might be the President! Ramirez, take down that helicopter using a Stinger! Ramirez, run into the middle of enemy fire and retrieve that live grenade!

PRIVATE RAMIREZ:

Alright. Wait, what?

SERGEANT FOLEY:

Okay, that last one was a joke. But you were totally ready to do it!

PRIVATE RAMIREZ:

Why the hell do I have to do everything anyway?

SERGEANT FOLEY:

Hey, I'm being voiced by Keith David, I can't take any risks. Who's voicing you?

PRIVATE RAMIREZ:

(Embarrassed)

No one.

SERGEANT FOLEY:

There you go.

They push through a SUBURB where RUSSIAN SOLDIERS are occupying people’s houses so they can RAID THEIR FRIDGES.

GENERAL SHEPHERD

Sergeant Foley, your orders are to go to some important guy’s house and extract him safely from his panic room.

At the target house, they find the guy DEAD next to a MYSTERIOUS BRIEFCASE.

PRIVATE RAMIREZ:

Hmm, this is all very intriguing and suspicious. I wonder what the ramifications of this are.

DEVELOPER INFINITY WARD

Nothing, basically. We’re going to leave this plot thread dangling and move on to another one.

And sure enough...

INT. RUSSIAN GULAG - DAY

TASK FORCE 141 learns that VLADIMIR MAKAROV was bullied in high school, so they extract the bully from a RUSSIAN GULAG to draw him out. It turns out to be CAPTAIN PRICE, which comes as NO SURPRISE, because his VOICE ACTOR had already mentioned his involvement.

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