Monkey Business Page #2

- Don't worry. He has no feelings.

Here, eat some bread. Quickly.

Darling, say something.

- Heat.

- I know. Blow on it.

Heat. Just ordinary heat.

I never thought of it.

Heat could make the formula

100% effective.

Darling, I think you solved

the problem for me.

- Do you really think so?

- I'm almost sure.

Hank, do you know

what just happened?

He burned his mouth.

No, silly. He just solved

our whole future.

If your whole future depends on figuring

out that a plate of soup is hot...

Hey, now, wait a minute.

Tell him, darling.

I've been promised a pretty good job

if I can make this formula work.

No more commercial assignments.

No more working on nonskid girdles

or noiseless popcorn bags.

- No fooling?

- Yes, a roving commission.

Select my own field of research.

Exchange ideas with professors all

over the world, including a percentage.

That's fine. It seems to me

a celebration is in order.

No reason to stay home

from the yacht club party now.

No. Except we're gonna stay home

from the Everett Winston party.

Everett Winston left town

three years ago.

We're staying home from his party.

But you can't stay home

from a party if you...

- Your phone's ringing.

- Yes, I know.

- Shall I answer it?

- No, just let it ring.

- That's important, isn't it?

- It's very important.

You two are way beyond me.

Please convey our regrets

to the Everett Winstons.

And say we're very sorry.

The language is confusing,

but the actions are unmistakable.

Good night, you two.

- Just a moment, please.

- Good morning.

Oh, Dr. Fulton, Mr. Oxly would like

to see you in his office.

Thank you.

- Good morning, Dr. Fulton.

- Good morning.

Aren't you here early?

Oh, yes. Mr. Oxly's been

complaining about my punctuation.

So I'm careful

to get here before 9:00.

Mr. Oxly's on the telephone.

Won't you sit down?

I'm glad we have a moment.

I have something

I want to show you.

For instance?

- Isn't it wonderful?

- I beg your pardon?

The new non-rip

plastic stockings you invented.

Oh. The N4-1 Acetate Project.

This is an experimental pair,

the first pair out of the factory.

- Aren't you proud?

- Turned out rather well.

I'll say. You can't tear 'em

or snag 'em or anything.

- I'm familiar with the product.

- No matter how hard you try.

- You'd be amazed, Doctor.

- Oh, no, I wouldn't be amazed.

I've done a lot of experimenting

with this kind of thing.

Of course, I'm through

with all of that now.

Uh, Mr. Oxly. Dr. Fulton's here.

- Good morning, sir.

- Good morning. You can come in now.

- Thank you.

- If you're not too busy.

Well, Miss Laurel

was just showing me her acetates.

- Yes. Uh, no calls, please.

- Yes, sir.

- Barnaby, I want to talk to you.

- Yes, sir.

I'm very much interested

in this new experiment of yours.

As a matter of fact,

I'm all steamed up about it.

How's it coming?

Our problem is to increase

the efficiency of the formula.

Could be quite a thing,

you know.

I stumbled onto something

last night that may be of help.

Well, that's good news.

Oh, I wanted you to see

the advertising layout.

I want your opinion.

We jumped the gun on it a little,

but I thought we'd better be ready.

Well... Well, why B-4?

B-4, as in,

"before and after."

Emphasizes the youth angle.

Get it?

Hmph.

What's the vulture doing?

That's a phoenix,

a mythical bird...

rising out of the ashes of age.

Makes the youth point again.

Dignified, yet forceful.

Do you mind a comment?

Not at all.

I'd welcome it.

- I think it's appalling.

- From what point of view?

Well, it's lurid and inaccurate.

It implies that we're going

to offer the public...

some sort

of"fountain of youth" drug.

But wouldn't it

make people young?

Mr. Oxly, we're working

with a large number of ingredients...

each of which, as we know,

accomplishes certain beneficial results.

Well?

It depends on which combination

of those ingredients we use...

and the proportions

in which we use them.

Mathematically, we may never find

the right combination...

or the exact proportions to produce

the effect you're talking about.

- It would be a miracle.

- But you can do it, my boy.

I told you I didn't want any calls.

Mr. Oxly,

Dr. Linten's on the phone.

I told him you were busy,

but he says it's very important.

- Who is he?

- He's my new assistant.

Oh, yes.

Just a moment, Miss Laurel.

Find someone to type this.

- Oh, Mr. Oxly, can't I try again?

- No, it's very important.

Better find someone

to type it for you.

Yes, sir.

Anybody can type.

- Who did she say was calling?

- Dr. Linten.

Oh, yes.

Yes, Dr. Lintle?

Yes?

I know he's not there.

Dr. Fulton is here with me.

Ye... What?

Really?

What sort of reactions?

Why, that's amazing!

We'll be right there.

Come along, Barnaby.

You've done better work than you know.

- Come along, Miss Laurel. It's amazing.

- What's amazing?

Dr. Whatchamacallit says

one of your monkeys broke loose.

We've got to hurry.

He's acting very strangely.

Obviously a reaction to your formula.

I knew you could do it, Barnaby.

I knew it.

I knew you could do it, Barnaby.

I knew it.

Be careful, Mr. Oxly.

The monkey's turned wild.

- Behave yourself.

- What happened, Jerome?

I haven't the slightest idea,

Doctor.

All I know that he's opened

the door of his cage...

and has been acting strangely.

Let go of him, gentlemen.

Let's see him in action.

No telling what

he's liable to do, sir.

Let go of him!

Look at that old chimp,

Miss Laurel.

Eighty-four years old.

Fourteen years older than I am.

- And just look at him.

- I am looking, Mr. Oxly.

This is incredible.

Now, Rudolph, you come down.

I don't understand this.

Have you been giving him stimulants?

Only the formula.

Only X-57, Doctor.

The test we made yesterday

gave no indication that...

Act your age!

What's the matter with you today?

- Rudolph, come down here!

- You're not acting like yourself.

This isn't like you.

Come on. Come on.

Now, come on, Rudolph.

Behave yourself. Come down here.

- That's better.

- What's he doing there?

That cage contains

our new female monkey.

By George. By George!

Come here. Mr. Oxly,

haven't you seen enough yet?

Come here.

Something's wrong.

Let me see if there's something

I can do with him.

- You're welcome to him.

- Now, Rudolph, you calm down.

Come on, Rudolph.

You behave yourself. That's better.

Be a good boy. Do as I tell you.

Come on down from there.

Come on. That's good.

Come along. Come along.

All right.

Calm down and sit there.

Let me look at you. Yes.

Well, gentlemen,

I think we've seen enough.

I'd like to consult

with Dr. Fulton alone.

Barnaby, if your formula

will have the same effect on humans...

it's the greatest thing

in modern science.

Sit down, Rudolph.

We intend to discontinue

every other product in our plant.

We'll turn out B-4

and nothing but B-4.

I'd like to offer myself

as the first human to try it.

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