Monkey Business Page #3

Mr. Oxly,

that may be dangerous.

I'm perfectly willing

to take that chance.

Oh.

This isn't Rudolph.

- What?

- No, no, no.

This chimpanzee

is only six months old.

Rudolph is a male.

This is a female.

- Barnaby, are you sure?

- Reasonably.

- She's wearing Rudolph's jacket.

- But this is Esther.

Here, hold on to Esther,

will you, please?

Look, I'll prove it to you.

Now, there's Rudolph

with Esther's number on.

I suppose the janitor gave them a bath

and switched jackets by mistake.

Yes, well, I suppose

that's the way it happened.

- I certainly feel let down.

- Personally, I'm glad it happened.

You're expecting too much

from that formula...

that B-4, Mr. Oxly.

Perhaps it's the name

that's confusing you.

If you'll just let me work in

the laboratory for a couple of hours...

I'll be better able to prove

what the formula will do.

Let me know when you're ready.

And let's have no more

of these false alarms.

They certainly

take it out of a man.

Come along, Miss Laurel.

What a ridiculous way

to start a day.

I hope it doesn't get any worse.

Sodium ascipate.

3,000 milligrams.

Check.

You keep quiet, Esther.

- Ooh!

- Don't you like the way I'm doing this?

Ooh-ooh.

- Molybdenum.

- Ah.

- Sodium molybdate.

- Yeah.

Let's see.

Four-tenths each dose.

Three doses would be

1,200 milligrams, right?

Check.

Papain.

Two thousand milligrams

for the whole three doses?

Check.

Well, that about does it.

Now, Jerome, we will refrigerate

these factors and heat these.

These remain as is. We'll use

Dr. Miller's cooler and incubator.

Shall we label this

X-57 as usual?

No, X-58, and not B-4.

- Good morning.

- Oh, Gus.

Did the monkeys

take a bath this morning?

Why?

Is there one missing?

- No, no, Gus.

- Yes?

Did you bathe

the monkeys this morning?

Yes, of course. Sure.

- Well, you mixed up their uniforms.

- Oh, I did?

Oh, I'm awfully sorry, Doctor.

I'll fix them up right away.

You can do it when you

feed them this afternoon.

- But don't let it happen again.

- No, sir, I won't.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

Oh, quiet down.

You've caused me

enough trouble already.

Heh! Grown-up men

playing with monkeys.

Mice, rabbits, guinea pigs.

- Ooh, ooh, ooh.

- Now monkeys.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Whew!

What's the matter?

Oh, my bursitis.

Well, that's one of the things

I hope the formula will alleviate.

- You intend to take it yourself?

- Certainly I do.

- Why not try it on Jerome?

- I wouldn't dare try it on Jerome.

You remember what happened

with the hair restorer?

Yes. One of our more

successful experiments.

Well, we learned

how to remove hair, anyway.

Let's talk about something else.

Hey, hey, hey.

How did you get out of there?

Huh? Listen, Esther or Rudolph,

whichever one you are.

Come on. You get

right back in your cage.

No, I'm not gonna

carry you. You walk.

Come on. What did you do,

getting out? Get back in.

Go on.

How'd you get out, anyway?

Gus. I thought you were

going to attend to that later.

Oh, I wasn't

changin' 'em, Doctor.

Esther got out,

and I was putting her back in her cage.

Oh, I guess that was my fault.

I forgot to close the lock.

Kinda messed

your stuff up there.

- I'll take care of it, Gus.

- All right.

Oh, don't bother with

anything now, Jerome.

I'm anxious to try this.

Seriously, Doctor,

you think you should take it?

Self-experimentation is against

the rules of all good research.

Jerome, the history of discovery...

is the history of people

who didn't follow rules.

Well, here goes.

To X-58

and a better world.

Mmm!

Gosh, that's bitter.

I've got to get some water.

Oh, that Gus.

Hmm.

Oh, it even makes

the water taste bitter.

Well, better put these away.

Theoretically, Doctor,

what might be the first reaction?

- I haven't the vaguest idea.

- What about the lag of time?

Depends upon

the period of absorption.

It's quite possible that...

Hmm, touch of dizziness.

And you have a slight flush.

That's probably due

to my natural excitement.

Hmm. Around 150.

Well, that's odd.

There's nothing in the mixture

that could accelerate the heart.

And you feel dizzy,

you said?

As a matter of fact,

I believe it's increasing.

Well, I'd better

record my reactions.

Pulse:
150.

Is that right?

One-fifty.

Mounting vertigo.

No nausea.

A sensation not unlike...

a series of small

electric shocks.

- Jerome, Jerome, where are you?

- I'm here.

- What is it?

- I can't see. I'm blind.

- Please, go on with the notes.

- No, this is too serious.

Do as I tell you. There isn't time.

I know what I took.

If there's an antidote,

we'll have to find it ourselves.

Now, just take the notes.

It is like a cloud,

a very peculiar feeling.

General milkiness,

but no discomfort.

In fact, it's a sensation

of extreme well-being.

It's as if l...

Doctor, what is it?

A paralysis?

Can you speak?

Try tapping once for yes,

two for no.

Can you hear me?

Doctor, can you hear me?

Perfectly. Hand me

the telephone book, please.

- Whose number do you want?

- Let me have the book.

Inglewood.

Drop Forge and Tool Company.

1065 West Hauser Avenue...

Inglewood West 60945.

It isn't possible.

It is possible, Jerome.

For the first time

in ten years...

I am able to see

without my glasses.

- Perfect vision.

- I can't believe it.

There. Now I'm blind again.

Fog, you see?

Now I can see again.

Doctor, X-58

seems to be a success.

Oh, indeed it does.

- I'll try my bursitis.

- Ooh!

Oh, I beg your pardon.

Not a twinge!

This is amazing.

Dr. Barnaby Fulton,

let me shake hands...

with the next Nobel Prize winner.

Delighted!

Pardon me.

My phone's running over.

Hello, Department of Water

and Power.

Which one would

you care to have cut off?

- Hello? Hello?

- Hello!

Oh, Barnaby, you sound as if

the formula was a success.

Did it go well?

Anybody giving a party

we can stay home from again tonight?

Oh, Barnaby.

No one I know of.

Oh, what a shame.

Then pour yourself into

that new dress, and we'll go celebrate.

All right. I'll be ready.

But don't forget

what you have to do.

- First, get a haircut.

- Haircut, yeah.

- And get a new suit.

- New suit, yeah.

Oh, and, darling,

stop by the automobile agency.

Mr. Peabody just called

and says he has a very good buy.

A good buy, eh?

Well, good-bye to you.

Oh, what a joke.

A real knee-slapper.

You do feel all right?

I'll get it.

Hello, Griffith Park Zoo.

Snake Department.

- Hello, hello. What is this?

- What do you want?

This is Mr. Oxly.

I'll see if he's here.

- No, I said, this is Oxly.

- Who is?

- I am, speaking.

- Oh, you're Mr. Speaking.

This is Mr. Oxly speaking.

Oxly Speaking.

Any relation to Oxly?

- Barnaby Fulton, is that you?

- Who's calling?

I am, Barnaby!

You're not Barnaby. I'm Barnaby.

I ought to know who I am.

- This is Oxly speaking, Barnaby!

- Well, now, that's ridiculous.

You can't be all three. Figure out

which one you are and call me back.

And I'm coming

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