Monkey Business Page #6

Synopsis: Barnaby Fulton is a research chemist working on a fountain of youth pill for a chemical company. While trying a sample dose on himself, he accidentally gets a dose of a mixture added to the water cooler and believes his potion is what is working. The mixture temporarily causes him to feel and act like a teenager, including correcting his vision. When his wife gets a dose that is even larger, she regresses even further into her childhood. When an old boyfriend meets her in this state, he believes that her never wanting to see him again means a divorce and a chance for him.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Howard Hawks
Production: Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment
 
IMDB:
7.0
Rotten Tomatoes:
88%
APPROVED
Year:
1952
97 min
686 Views


Evening, sir.

- Oh, good evening.

- Would you like to register?

Yes, please.

Do you have a small suite

overlooking the ocean, please?

- Uh, yes, sir.

- Thank you.

- Psst! Psst!

- I beg your pardon?

- Psst!

- Oh.

- Is room 304 vacant?

- Yes.

- That's the bridal suite, you know.

- Yes, I know.

Psst!

Oh, yeah.

Could you please leave word

that we're not to be disturbed?

Yes, sir.

- 304.

- Come along, dear.

- Thank you very much.

- Yes, indeed.

- Thank you very much.

- Yes, indeed.

Edwina.

Edwina, dear.

Barney, listen to that.

Let's not waste time.

Let him take the bags

on up to the room.

Darling, it's 11:00.

I've had a very rough day.

- Oh, Barney, you promised.

- Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Just put the keys in the room,

bring me the bags, and I'll...

#We're poor little lambs #

#Who have lost

our way #

# Baa... #

Barney. Barney, don't go to sleep.

This is our song.

Oh. Yes, dear.

#We're little black sheep #

#Who have gone astray #

- Barney?

- Hmm?

Every time I hear it,

it makes me feel...

Darling, I could never be mad

or unhappy when I hear it.

I just want to be near you.

Yes, dear.

Barney, waltz, waltz, waltz.

Yes, dear.

Oh, no! No!

Whew!

Oh, oh,

come on, Edwina.

There you go.

Ha-ha!

Whee!

Get up, Edwina.

Get up, Edwina.

Now, Edwina...

Get up, Edwina.

Get up.

Help me up.

Oh!

Whee, that was fun!

Barney, try it.

- I wouldn't think of it.

- Come on, try it.

Oh, there it is.

- Listen to me. Please, dear.

- Here we are.

Oh, I know where the key is.

It's here. You usually keep it here.

- Oh.

- Right there. See?

- Okay, here we go.

- Really?

Open the door.

Hooray.

Edwina, aren't you beginning

to feel tired at all?

Not a bit. Why?

Do you wanna go someplace?

Oh, no, no, no.

No, I was thinking, you know.

L- I should make a few tests,

check your blood pressure and heart.

Oh, Barnaby.

Not tonight.

Uh, Edwina, in making such

an experiment...

it's always

good to make as few...

- Barney.

- What?

Are you sure

you really love me?

Well, of course I do, dear.

Whatever made you ask

such a question?

Well, it just occurred to me.

Now, does that

answer your question?

You know, I love you so much

it makes me dizzy.

- Really?

- Mmm.

- When did that start?

- First time I ever met you.

No, no.

I mean the dizziness.

Oh, I don't know.

This is our honeymoon night,

and that's all I care to think about.

Yes, dear.

Barney. Barney?

What are you going to do?

Oh, I was just going

to put on my pajamas.

Well, uh, uh...

don't you think you'd

better change in there?

What for?

Well, uh, well,

that-that's all right.

I'll... I'll take my things

in the bathroom.

For heaven's sake.

I'll only be a few minutes.

Hmm. Became suddenly shy.

I'd better put that down.

I'll just...

Hmm.

"Fifteen minutes to change.

Complete reversal

of usual behavior pattern."

Oh.

Edwina?

Edwina, are you all right?

Yes, darling.

I'll be out in a second.

Oh. Good.

Oh, Barney, I'm so happy.

What's the matter?

What...

Well, what's the matter, darling?

Why are you crying?

I can't help it.

Well, is it because

of something I said or did?

No.

Well, what is it then?

I was just thinking.

What about?

Mother!

Oh, Mother.

Now I understand.

No, you don't.

Well, what is it then?

Oh, I can't help of thinking

how she must be feeling tonight.

She never liked you.

Well, I must say

she doesn't try very hard, either.

I do everything I can

to please her.

How can you be

so insensitive?

She had such wonderful dreams

for me and my future.

Well, she can still

have them, can't she?

No, she can't.

She can't.

Edwina, we drove all the way

down here to enjoy ourselves...

and to pursue an important

scientific experiment at the same time.

Now let's not spoil it all

by having a silly quarrel about nothing.

Don't you call

my mother "nothing."

I didn't call

your mother "nothing."

Don't you raise

your voice to me.

I'm not raising my voice!

Hank Entwhistle

wouldn't fly into a rage...

just because a girl happened

to mention her mother.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

What's Hank Entwhistle

got to do with anything?

I only mentioned

Hank Entwhistle...

because my mother

was always very fond of him.

He knew how to please her.

There's something clinical

about the way...

you bring up the name

of Hank Entwhistle...

every time you get

annoyed with me.

Do you regret

not having married him?

Look who's talking!

What about Elvira Bliss?

Oh, for heaven's sakes. Elvira Bliss?

That was in grammar school.

I know.

She was the teacher.

And I suppose that Myra McKillip

was in grammar school too...

and Miriam Ingals...

whom you tried to teach

to play golf for three years!

Oh, yeah, that reminds me.

She's still got my putter.

And you dare speak

of Hank Entwhistle...

who only kissed me once.

He kissed you?

Well, that's something

you never saw fit to tell me before.

You kissed Hank Entwhistle?

- I never said that!

- Oh, for...

I said, he kissed me!

I never kissed him!

- You did say exactly that.

- I said nothing of the kind!

No, no!

My glasses.

- You struck me! You struck me!

- Oh, no, I didn't!

You horrible thing!

You brute!

- You get out of my room!

- You've really got to cut it out!

You get out of my room!

Oh, no. Edwina, now stop it.

Now, really.

Oh, Edwina, now this is ridiculous.

You know I can't see.

Edwina, please, let me in!

Do you realize that

I'm out here in the hall in a...

Oh, no, no.

Oh, no.

Edwina, something's

caught in the door.

Please, let me in.

Well, it's your own fault!

- Please, let me in!

- No.

Uh... Oh, my.

Well, if there's only some way

I can make you understand.

Oh, I know.

Edwina?

Edwina, dear, listen to me.

#We're poor little lambs #

#Who have lost our way #

# Baa baa baa ##

Edwina, are you there?

Edwina?

Edwina, please!

Operator!

Now, Edwina, I can't

stay out here any longer.

Oh, well.

Oh, oh.

Oh, you unlocked the door.

Well, it's about time.

- Now, dear, if you'll just cooperate...

- Aah!

Help! Police!

There's a man!

Help! Police!

Oh, dear.

I wish I knew where

there was a telephone.

Oh, perhaps there's one in here.

Hmm. You'd think there'd

be a telephone somewhere.

No. Oh.

Whoa!

Oh, where am I?

Ooh!

Yike!

Oh, let me in, Edwina.

Let me in.

The key's in the car, ma'am.

- All right. Thank you very much.

- Thank you.

- How's that, mister? All right?

- Oh, yes, thank you.

Barnaby!

Oh, my poor darling!

Oh, Edwina, is that you?

Darling, I've looked

everywhere for you.

- What are you doing here?

- Getting out of the laundry.

These two ladies were

kind enough to help me.

Thank you both very much.

I'll be all right now.

- We're glad to help.

- Anytime at all, mister.

I hope I don't do it again.

Barnaby, do you want to go

into the hotel and change?

Oh, no. Please, just take me

away from here.

- Take me home.

- Well, the car's right over here.

How did you get

in the laundry?

Well, I don't know.

Rate this script:4.3 / 3 votes

Ben Hecht

Ben Hecht (1894–1964) was an American screenwriter, director, producer, playwright, journalist and novelist. A journalist in his youth, he went on to write thirty-five books and some of the most entertaining screenplays and plays in America. He received screen credits, alone or in collaboration, for the stories or screenplays of some seventy films. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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