Monkeybone Page #11

As STU fights his way over, he sees an odd LUMP wriggling under the

bedcovers. Out pops MONKEYBONE, clutching a bottle of champagne!

MONKEYBONE:

I knew I left it in there somewhere.

He shakes the bottle, pops the cork, and SPRAYS SPURTING BUBBLY at

HYPNOS, the GIRLS, and everyone else within firing range!

HYPNOS:

Haw! I like a monkey with vision!

MONKEYBONE:

You said it, partner!

Hilarity all around. STU snatches MONKEYBONE off the bed -

STU:

How'd you get in there?

MONKEYBONE:

Stu... It's a party.

STU:

Mr. Hypnos - sir - I needed to talk to you -

HYPNOS:

Wait a minute. Stu Miley, right? Boys and girls

...Mr. Stu Miley, in the house!

(leading a round of applause)

This is an honor. We see a lot of nightmares

down here, but yours are like caviar, man. You

da shits!!

STU:

Mr. Hypnos, I saw a dream. My girlfriend was

having it. She dreamed they were pulling the

plug on me. She was watching me die.

HYPNOS:

Uh huh. And?

STU:

Well, I have to get a message to her. I have to

let her know I'm okay. Until I can get out of

here...

A vaguely embarrassed look crosses HYPNOS's face. All the nearby

DARKTOWNERS stare at their shoes, clear their throats.

STU:

...which is actually what I wanted to talk to

you about. See, I've been here three months -

With a brusque gesture, HYPNOS sends the party girls packing. He slings

one arm around STU's shoulder and pulls him aside.

HYPNOS:

Kid - didn't they tell you about this party?

STU:

Tell me what?

HYPNOS:

It's a special kind of party. A farewell party.

Do you...get what I'm saying?

STU:

Farewell? You mean - you mean I'm -

STU EXPLODES WITH JOY. He practically dances a jig.

STU:

I'M GOING HOME! I'M WAKING UP! HEY, EVERYBODY!

I'M OUTTA HERE. I...

One by one, the celebrants turn their backs and slink discreetly away.

STU:

I think I...I'm about to... Am I mistaken, or

don't I get to... Is there some...

HYPNOS:

Y'see, Stu, as I understand it, you made this

pact with your sister...no life support?

MONKEYBONE's jaw drops. He slaps himself across the forehead.

MONKEYBONE:

Pact? Pact? NO LIFE SUPPORT??

STU:

Well - yeah - but that doesn't...apply. It was

different then. I was depressed. My life is

great now. I'm in love!

MONKEYBONE marches back and forth across the bed, wearing a dimwit's

expression as he MOCKS STU in a singsongy voice...

MONKEYBONE:

Pull the plug! Pull the plug! Take my organs! I

don't need 'em! I don't need no! Life support!

I'm an idiot! Pull the pl--

STU grabs the monkey and clamps a hand over his mouth.

STU:

Besides, Julie wouldn't...she'd never...

HYPNOS:

Actually, Stu, Julie doesn't get to decide.

That's why she was having the nightmare.

(an embarrassed shrug)

They're pulling the plug at nine AM.

STU:

Nine AM! But that's - twelve hours.

In checking his watch, STU removes his hand from MONKEYBONE's mouth. The

singsong resumes...

MONKEYBONE:

I'm so dumb! I deserve to die -

STU:

Mr. Hypnos, you run this place. I'm begging you.

There's gotta be something I can do.

HYPNOS:

Stu, I like you personally, I admire your work,

but I'm just the God of Sleep. This is Death's

bailiwick.

STU:

Maybe you could talk to Death!

HYPNOS:

Me? Me, go crawling to Death? My friend, it will

be a cold, cold day in Las Vegas, Nevada, before

I go crawling to that piece of -

HYP shuts up. Looks around the room, as if he's afraid of being

overheard. Then he gestures to the boys to join him on the bed.

They climb aboard eagerly. HYPNOS hits his remote...

INT. HYPNOS'S BEDROOM - ON BED

...and they rotate AWAY from the party. Privacy at last.

HYPNOS:

Now Death is not what you would call a people

person, like me. Death is a putz - and I should

know. I'm his little brother.

STU:

You're Death's brother?

HYPNOS:

Oh yeah. Mr. By-the-book, Stick-Up-the-Ass, My-

Way-or-the-Highway Death. Believe me - over the

course of eternity, you get pretty damned tired

of that schtick.

(spreading his hands)

So I need a job. He sticks me in this broke-down

amusement park, with a buncha animals to run it.

I'm supposed to be grateful?

MONKEYBONE:

The penthouse is pretty swank, though.

HYPNOS:

Thank you. I decorated it myself.

STU:

Guys, I don't mean to be rude, but I only have

eleven hours and fifty-three minutes to...

HYPNOS:

Oh, right. Cheating Death. There's one thing you

might try. Only one guy in history ever pulled

it off. Well, actually two. Actually, no, there

was that other guy who...well, very few people

have done it.

STU:

Hyp, I'll do anything.

MONKEYBONE:

Me too. And I mean anything. Ask the chicks in

the back room.

HYPNOS:

You've seen those E-tickets, right? Well, what

you gotta do...is go into the Land of Death...

and steal an E-ticket right out from under

Death's nose.

STU:

Land of Death. How do I get there?

HYPNOS:

Kid, listen:
that's all I'm saying. And you

didn't hear it from me.

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