Monkeybone Page #12

HYP hits the remote. The bed begins to ROTATE OUTWARD again.

HYPNOS:

You've heard of a fate worse than Death? That's

what's waiting for you if you screw up.

INT. HYP'S HIDEAWAY - A MOMENT LATER

HYP gives the boys a wink and a thumbs-up, then wanders off to shmooze

his other guests. MONKEYBONE shakes STU's hand.

MONKEYBONE:

Fate worse than death! Well, it's been real,

boss, but I gotta go buff up my resumé. ANYBODY

HERE NEED A FIGMENT?

STU:

Fine! Don't put yourself out. I'll go to the

land of Death alone.

MONKEYBONE:

Stu, you have my absolute confidence. ­- DEAD

MAN! DEAD MAN WALKING!!

STU:

(grabbing him by the throat)

I've got one chance to get back to Julie, and

I'm gonna take it - with or without you.

He turns and stalks off. MONKEYBONE stands there blinking.

MONKEYBONE:

Hey. Aren't you gonna talk me into it?

STU:

No. Goodbye. Thanks for nothing.

Stunned, MONKEYBONE scurries along behind him, PLEADING.

MONKEYBONE:

You gotta talk me into it. You'll screw up on

your own. I mean, a guy's gotta have a sidekick.

For moral support! Wisecracks - snappy banter -

(wrapping himself around STU's leg)

It's the land of Death, Stu, the Land of Death!

Don't go in there without your comedy relief!!

STU:

All right. You can come.

MONKEYBONE:

OH, THANK YOU! THANK YOU! TH--

(suddenly realizing)

Something went very, very wrong here.

STU:

Now we just gotta figure out how to get there.

As if in reply, a PALE, SPECTRAL PRESENCE comes drifting across the

dance floor - an eight-foot-tall GRIM REAPER.

The boys duck behind a POTTED PLANT to watch as he zeroes in on the WET

BAR - where a beautiful coma victim, LULU, is drunkenly making out with

another sloshed corpse-to-be, FRED.

REAPER:

LULU LA RUE. I HAVE COME FOR YOU.

LULU doesn't notice. She continues grappling with FRED. Muttering, the

REAPER dives in and tries to disentangle them.

REAPER:

LULU LA RUE, I HAVE COME FOR -

LULU:

Shay, you're kinda cute.

She ditches FRED and throws her arms around the REAPER. Repulsed, he

pushes her away, props her against the nearest wall -

- and TOUCHES HER with one bony finger above the heart! It's like

throwing a switch. Her body stiffens. Her EYES cross. Her TONGUE droops

out of her mouth. She makes a noise like a DIAL TONE.

The true horror of death is that it makes you look like a total idiot.

The REAPER pulls a collapsible HAND TRUCK from beneath his shroud and

starts maneuvering LULU onto it.

FRED:

Say there. How 'bout one for the road?

The REAPER ignores him. FRED holds up a cocktail glass.

FRED:

Hold this for me, pally.

The REAPER heaves a sigh and takes the cocktail glass. FRED grabs a

pitcher filled with some luminescent tropical concoction...

...and POURS IT down the REAPER's front!

FRED:

Ooopsy daisy.

ON STU AND MONKEYBONE - BEHIND THE PLANT

WINCING at the REAPER in his sopping wet, pink-stained shroud.

MONKEYBONE:

Is that what they call "death with dignity"?

The REAPER wrings out his shroud and grabs the hand truck. As he wheels

LULU past the boys, MONKEYBONE pops up with a helpful hint:

MONKEYBONE:

Two words for you, my friend: club soda.

STU claps a hand over MB's mouth as the REAPER turns down a hall.

EXT. DARK TOWN GATES - NIGHT

The still-muttering REAPER wheels LULU toward the entrance to Dark Town.

The boys are skulking along behind him at a discreet distance.

STU:

He's taking her to the land of Death, right? So

all we've gotta do is...hitch a ride!

(beat)

Stop shaking! I'll protect you.

MONKEYBONE:

Oh, sure. Mr. Action Hero! Why couldn't I be

Arnold Schwarzenegger's figment?

The REAPER approaches the GATES. He presses a remote-control BEEPER and

the meshing teeth of the gates slide back far enough to let him pass

through.

STU realizes they've only got an instant to make their move. He DIVES

through the gates at top speed. As soon as he's on the other side, he

hears a nasty CLANG behind him...

MONKEYBONE is caught - his body contorted like a pretzel, woven in and

out among the meshing teeth! STU gives him a good hard YANK, and he

slips out like a strand of fettuccine.

They hear RUMBLING on the tracks outside. A CAR is arriving!

EXT. DARK TOWN GATES - OTHER SIDE - NIGHT

The REAPER loads LULU into the little roller-coaster and climbs aboard.

The car begins to move. STU and MONKEYBONE get there just in time to

jump onto the LUGGAGE RACK in the back!

ON ROLLER-COASTER - MOVING - THAT MOMENT

They peep over the back of the car at the REAPER and wonder what to do

next. MONKEYBONE spies a TOOL KIT mounted under the rack - opens it, and

pulls out a big, nasty MONKEYWRENCH.

The boys nod in agreement. MONKEYBONE clambers over the back of the car

and hoists the wrench. STU covers his eyes. WHANG!

STU looks up - sees a confused MONKEYBONE alone in the car with LULU.

Now he clambers into the car as well.

STU:

Where'd he go??

MONKEYBONE:

I don't know.

There's no trace of the REAPER - except for a rumpled shroud, a

wristwatch, and a St. Christopher's medal on the floor of the car. The

boys exchange a puzzled shrug. MONKEYBONE tries on the watch.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. SLEEP LAB - PRE-DAWN

The wall clock says it's not quite 3 AM, yet JULIE has managed to round

up all her co-workers: ALICE, HUTCH, CLARISSA, et al. They're groggy,

disheveled, un-made-up, unshaven. But they're there.

JULIE:

Six hours. That's when they pull the plug.

That's how long we've got to wake him up.

(beat)

Now these are Stu's old charts from five years

ago, when he first came to the sleep lab...

She points to a series of EASELS where HUTCH and ALICE have been tacking

up EEG printouts, engram maps, etc.

JULIE:

...they show incredibly intense nightmare

activity. The chart below is his new chart...

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