Monkeybone Page #26

... at a pair of COPS who are over by the piñata, loading CONFISCATED

MONKEYBONE DOLLS into a SHOPPING CART. The ICE CHEST knocks them off

their feet - and sends the SHOPPING CART rolling downhill!

The COPS try to get up, but they skid every which way on the SPILLED ICE

underneath. On top of which, the SURGICAL TEAM is all over them, playing

GRAB-ASS with the COPS as they try to retrieve precious organs.

The HEAD SURGEON kneels beside his fallen comrade, the guy who got

BEANED by the punchbowl, and feels for a pulse.

HEAD SURGEON:

Put him on ice. I think he can still be saved!

EXT. ZOO GROUNDS - LATE AFTERNOON

COPS sprint downhill, trying to intercept the runaway SHOPPING CART full

of confiscated dolls. Too late. The CART slams into a fence and goes

ass-over-teakettle, dumping its contents into the PENGUIN HABITAT...

INT. HYP'S HIDEAWAY - THAT MOMENT

HYPNOS and an audience of DARKTOWNERS peer into the nightmare orb. They

see a Keystone-Cops vision of fur-clad ESKIMOS, with clubs and

spearguns, amid a colony of terrified PENGUINS.

HYPNOS:

Not again. THAT STINKING MONKEY!!!

AERIAL SHOT - STU'S POV - MOVING

STU gets an idea as he looks down at his dangling INTESTINE. He begins

FEEDING IT OUT - giving himself more rope to work with - and when it's

long enough, begins SWINGING IT like a LASSO!

EXT. WATER BUFFALO HABITAT - LATE AFTERNOON

WATER BUFFALO graze Buddha-like as STU'S INTESTINE snags one of them

around the HORNS. The lasso draws taut - and holds!

ANGLE ON BALLOON - O.D. STU AND STU-BONE

The balloon is moored in place again! O.D. STU pulls himself upward,

toward STU-BONE, who KICKS AT him frantically!

EXT. ZOO GROUNDS - LATE AFTERNOON

A COP pulls his sidearm and TAKES AIM at the now-stabilized balloon.

COP:

I think I can bring 'em down.

ANGLE ON BALLOON - MOVING - LATE AFTERNOON

BLAM! The cop's shot hits the giant MONKEYBONE BALLOON smack in the ass.

With a gale-force helium FART, the balloon ZOOMS UPWARD. The INTESTINE

snaps. STU-BONE and O.D. STU shoot off into the air!

ON STU-BONE & O.D. STU - AERIAL

AT APOGEE. They exchange a LOOK as the last gasp of helium hisses out of

the gigantic balloon. Then it occurs to them to look DOWN...

THEIR POV - PARKING LOT - OVERHEAD ANGLE

...at the tiny CARS parked far, far below. They must be close to a

hundred feet up in the air - and all at once the ground is coming up

fast!

EXT. ZOO - ON JULIE & CROWD - LATE AFTERNOON

JULIE et al SCREAM IN HORROR as the two bodies plunge earthward.

ON STU-BONE & O.D. STU - FALLING

...and falling and falling until they SMACK INTO the hot asphalt of the

parking lot, the deflated balloon settling over them like a shroud.

Their BODIES have stopped - but their SPIRITS keep on falling...

AERIAL SHOT - SKIES OVER DARK TOWN - NIGHT

...and the fight continues - even into the afterlife! As they plummet

down through the heavens, they REVERT to their true personae. It's STU

vs. MONKEYBONE, creator vs. sidekick, still duking it out - like a

couple of skydivers fighting over a single parachute!

EXT. STREETS - DARK TOWN - RIGHT

DARKTOWNERS pour into the streets to watch the epic struggle overhead.

They're placing bets, rooting their favorites on. Then...

THE GROUND SHAKES AND THUNDERS - and the DARKTOWNERS scatter in all

directions, DIVING for the nearest hiding place. They seem to know what

this mighty rumbing signifies.

The E-TICKET RIDE pops out of the ground - begins to RISE into the air -

and a COLOSSUS appears beneath it! A FIFTY-FOOT WARRIOR clad in JAPANESE

CEREMONIAL ARMOR, he TOWERS over Dark Town, so mighty and enormous that

he can wear the E-TICKET RIDE as a hat!!

ON STU AND MONKEYBONE - FALLING

STU lands a HAYMAKER, and the two of them break loose of each other -

ON ARMORED COLOSSUS - THAT MOMENT

- LANDING in the upturned palms of the COLOSSUS! STU watches in

disbelief as a PANEL pops open in the giant's CHEST, revealing...

STU:

DEATH!!

DEATH:

I dress up when I want to make an impression. -

So how'd it go?

STU:

Fine, thanks. Saw my girl, said goodbye,

everything's gonna be okay.

(shrugging)

I guess I'm yours now.

MONKEYBONE:

Death, I'd like to point out that none of this

was my fault. The roots of this tragedy go back

to a callous, uncaring society that -

DEATH lets out a MIGHTY ROAR and CLAPS HIS GREAT METAL HANDS together.

Man and monkey are surely squished. But when DEATH opens his hands, STU

is still there, cupped safely in his palms.

STU:

Hey. Where's Monkeybone?

DEATH:

Back in your head, where he belongs.

(beat)

No offense, Stu, but on your own you're kinda

vanilla. I didn't want to send you back without

him.

STU:

Back? You're sending me back?

DEATH:

It's irregular, but...I just love that strip of

yours. I figure I'll take the "Family Circus"

guy instead.

STU:

Death! Thank you!

DEATH:

Thank me next time you see me.

He sends STU ROCKETING UPWARD INTO THE STRATOSPHERE with a single flick

of his finger. Then he turns...

DEATH:

Ohhhh, Hypnos??

A BUNCH OF FRIGHTENED DARKTOWNERS pitch the quivering satyr out into the

middle of the town square.

HYPNOS:

Death! So nice to see you. I can explain -

He looks up tremulously. A GIANT SHADOW falls across him...followed by a

GIANT ARMORED FOOT.

EXT. ZOO - DUSK

JULIE SOBS in a POLICEMAN's arms at the exit to the zoo.

JULIE:

I don't know what happened. All I know is...he

was in a coma...and then he came back...and now

he's gone again.

They wander out. Behind them, a squad of COPS are confiscating

MONKEYBONE DOLLS from squawling children as they file out.

EXT. ZOO - PARKING LOT - DUSK

The TWO CORPSES, on gurneys, are being loaded into the back of the

police ambulance. The SURGEON and his team come wandering up.

SURGEON:

Excuse me. We lost a corpse - we saw him heading

this way...

DRIVER:

I got a couple of fresh ones in the back. Help

yourself.

The SURGEON pulls the sheet off CORPSE #1 - aka O.D. STU.

SURGEON:

I'll be. It's him all right. Still dead...

The SECOND CORPSE sits up abruptly. His sheet falls away, revealing STU

...the real STU...now back in his own body! The SURGEON and his TEAM run

away from the ambulance SHRIEKING.

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