Monkeybone Page #4

All at once he seems to be RECEDING from JULIE and the others - as if

SINKING THROUGH the bottom of the stretcher, and BEYOND - through the

floor of the ambulance! JULIE's voice grows weaker, more distant:

JULIE (V.O.)

I'm here, baby. I won't leave you...

And then all trace of the ambulance is gone, and he's floating down

through some strange LIMBO, surrounded by the silhouettes of billowing

SHROUDS, with the sound of BIRDS CALLING all around him...

An AWFUL MECHANICAL RATCHETING NOISE fills the soundtrack. STU's eyes

close - and when they reopen, he finds himself in:

EXT. TROLLEY - MOVING

A tiny ROLLER-COASTER CAR descends from dense clouds down the length of

an impossibly long and rickety METAL TRACK. The track leads through a

vast black VOID...

...to a tiny ISLAND floating in the darkness...an island that looks not

unlike a disembodied FIST.

And, as the car draws closer, the fist begins to OPEN - tulip-like -

turning into a HAND, with a full-sized TOWN nestled in its palm! In the

town, CARNIVAL LIGHTS begin to glitter. MUSIC begins to tinkle...

EXT. PLATFORM - NIGHT

The car - a one-passenger job with a CARTOON ANIMAL FACE on its prow -

stops with a lurch. STU steps out onto a fog-shrouded TRAIN STATION

PLATFORM. Before he knows it, the little car DEPARTS behind him. He's

stranded - alone.

STU:

Hello? Anybody? - Am I dead?

(beat)

PLEASE. I'D LIKE TO KNOW IF I'M DEAD.

Off in the fog is a big wheeled CART with the sign: "PSYCHOLOGICAL

BAGGAGE CLAIM." There STU finds two SUITCASES and a BACKPACK. He

examines the TAGS. They all belong to him!

He sits on the edge of the cart, opens a SUITCASE, and pulls out...

- A bagged copy of Marvel Comics' Conan the Barbarian #1;

- An 8mm reel of highlights from Ray Harryhausen's Jason and the

Argonauts, with swordfighting skeletons on the box cover;

- A SPIRAL NOTEBOOK, its cover labelled "STU M. - GEOGRAPHY," its

inside pages covered with drawings of dinosaurs and airplanes;

- Transparent plastic models of "THE VISIBLE MAN" and his mate, "THE

VISIBLE WOMAN," with a couple of spare organs that young STU never

quite found a place for;

- A vinyl LP of "BREAD'S GREATEST HITS," which STU quickly slips back

into the suitcase lest anyone see it.

As he gathers his bags, he hears odd SQUEAKS and CHITTERING...

RACCOON (o.s.)

Carry your bags, mister?

A STRANGE FURRY CREATURE pops out from beneath the platform and yanks on

STU's pants leg. It looks like a raccoon, but it's FLAT - an animated

pelt. Before STU has time to let out a yell, a FLAT SNAKESKIN comes

slithering out from beneath the baggage cart...

SNAKE:

Cigars, mister? Genuine Coobans!

STU looks down and sees a SQUASHED RABBIT humping his leg.

RABBIT:

Wanna meet my sister?

These bordertown types are known as ROADKILL, and they're sporting the

tire tracks to prove it. STU SCREAMS, shakes them off, and RUNS.

EXT. DARK TOWN GATES - NIGHT

A long stone STAIRWAY leads to decorative wrought-iron GATES. SHADOWY

CARVED SPHINXES sit on either side. As STU races up the steps, a

sputtering NEON SIGN comes to life overhead:

D RK TOWN:

A FANFARE BLOWS as the creaky gates begin to part. A SPOTLIGHT hits the

SPHINXES - and they COME TO LIFE! They rise up on their hind legs, put

on boater hats. One of them blows a note on a kazoo...

SINGING SPHINXES

Weeee...welcome you to Dark Town

And while you're in your coma

This odd amusement park-town

Will be your Home Sweet Homa -

STU bolts THROUGH THE GATES, with the ROADKILL TRIO right on his heels.

The indignant SPHINXES exchange a look of outrage.

EXT. DARK TOWN - MIDWAY - NIGHT

It's a carny town, a tourist trap, seedy and nightmarish. Despite the

festive trappings, there's something off about it - an air of neglect

and decrepitude - as if they'd tried to turn Alcatraz into Disneyland,

and given up halfway through.

STU looks back and sees the ROADKILL gaining on him. He spots a small

group of OTHER HUMANS...

STU:

Help me. Please. There's animals. They -

The humans just YAWN. They're COMA VICTIMS, just like STU. He ditches

one of his SUITCASES as the ROADKILL come after him.

VOICE:

Pony ride, Mister?

He turns and spots a helpful-looking fellow in a COWBOY OUTFIT. The

COWBOY is in fact a CENTAUR - rider and mount rolled into one!

The characters who run this place - the BARKERS, TICKET-TAKERS, and RIDE

OPERATORS - are all weird HYBRIDS, part human, part ANIMAL. They could

be the ancient Gods of some primitive culture - reduced to working as

street entertainers in this ramshackle resort town.

STU pinballs down the street, bouncing from one shock to another:

- JOE CAMEL, doing community service as a STREET SWEEPER -

JOE CAMEL:

Hey, Mister. Mister! Got a smoke?

- a YETI selling SNO-CONES from a cart outside the MORPHEUM THEATRE.

The marquee reads:

LIVE! NIGHTMARES! LIVE!

First-Run - Continuous Performances - Popular Prices

Rated NR-H - Not Recommended for Humans

- A CYCLOPS working as a barker at the Penny Arcade;

- A VIDEO RENTAL OUTLET - "BAD DREAMS VIDEO," offering your favorite

nightmares, cult and classic, three nights for $2.95. A THREE-HEADED

DEVIL emerges from the shop carrying a sackful of videos - and

recognizes STU, much to his horror.

HEAD #1

Hey, aren't you Stu Miley?

HEAD #2

We're big fans.

HEAD #3

Could we have your autograph?

Reduced to babbling hysteria, STU ducks into the nearest building. Above

the door, an ANIMATED NEON SIGN shows a happy boozer lifting his martini

glass, then falling over flat on his back, at which point his eyes are

replaced by the traditional cartoon X's. This is the COMA BAR.

INT. COMA BAR - A MOMENT LATER - NIGHT

STU bursts in, flattens himself against the wall as the ROADKILL skitter

past outside. He's given them the slip. He looks around.

The bar's a weird melange of styles. COMA VICTIMS ride around in

wheelchairs refurbished as BUMPER CARS, drinking cocktails from IV

bottler. A four-armed ELEPHANT GOD is at the Mighty Wurlitzer while a

MERMAID VOCALIST in a half-shell belts out the wistful lyrics of Johnny

Mercer's "DREAM." And over at the BAR...

BULL (o.s.)

New in town, huh? What're you drinking?

Out of breath, STU edges toward the bar as the BARTENDER, BULL, turns

away to grab a fresh glass.

Rate this script:3.0 / 1 vote