Monsters Wanted Page #7

- There's no price.

I don't know.

[Rock music]

- Yeah!

- Look at that.

What else we got?

- You're pretty helpful.

- Aw, I don't think

I got any ducks.

Used for a game.

They're bet--they're

better than wiffle balls.

How about eyeball suckers?

[Laughter]

It's gonna cost you $3

in games to win one of those.

How much did I pay for that?

Okay.

- They're priceless.

- We just rolled two.

- Two?

- 2,000 so far.

- [Laughs, murmuring]

- We still have

another cart.

Down to the wire.

- [Sighs]

- Yeah.

Down to the wire.

She's about to have

a heart attack.

- [Sighs]

Here we go.

- She just balanced

her checkbook

and didn't like

the answer.

Give me a hug.

Give me a hug.

Come out of the little,

blue glowy reflective things.

- I'm okay.

- Vampires don't sparkle.

[Laughs]

- You wouldn't do that

to the tape.

- So $2,306.17.

- You guys are cutting it close

with the cash.

- Um, yeah.

Uh...

That was my fault.

I never should have let rich

hold on to 40 grand.

I was in charge

of half the money,

and he was in charge

of the other half of the money.

And, um, before we were

even a quarter of the way

into the build,

he was already broke.

And, uh, that's--

that's why the budget ran

quite a bit deeper

than it needed to.

[Laughs]

[Saw buzzing]

- What's on your mind?

- That there's a lot of sh*t

left to do in 24 hours

before the dress rehearsal

tomorrow

and then even more sh*t to do

in the next 72 hours

before the first night.

I'm overwhelmed.

I can't even comprehend

how janel and rich

are handling it right now.

- [Whistling]

- There's somebody that

complained to the city council.

The city council

calls the fire department.

The fire department

emails my division.

My boss emails me.

'Cause I know the competition

right now is--

this is--this is

my third haunted house today.

- Really? It's dirty, man.

- Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I'm not sure

who is really behind

the barrage of emails

I keep getting,

but I'm not getting 'em

only on you.

I'm getting them

on southside drive.

I'm getting them

on strawberry Lane.

I'm getting them

on, uh, waverly.

My goal is

to get everybody going.

You know, I don't want

to be, you know,

the opposite going away,

you know what I mean?

I just--especially if you're

trying to make money legally.

- Can you tell me

what just happened?

- Surprise inspector.

I'm pretty sure 'cause one

of the other haunted houses

are complaining

about b.S.

And so they just

have to come look.

- Is it a common thing,

do you know?

- Unfortunately.

I got permits for as much

as we thought we needed.

Apparently, there's more.

- Okay, we need to talk

about something.

- Kenny's of the opinion

that we shouldn't do

dress rehearsal tomorrow night,

and I agree.

We're not ready for it.

- No, we're not

ready for it.

- And I don't even think we can

get close enough to fake it.

- Okay.

- But we don't--

I don't have the time--

neither does Kenny--

to stop and deal with actors

coming through, nothing.

We just--there's no way.

Hey, kaley.

- You're not having

dress rehearsal?

- There's no way

I can have actors in these

while we're

putting sh*t up.

I don't even have

my air lines running out

for the animatronics.

- Okay.

- It's just not gonna happen.

- Mm-hmm.

- Much as I really

f***ing want it

and they really

f***ing need it,

it ain't gonna happen.

- Okay.

Well, all right.

[Soft rock music]

- How long are your days

right now?

- Around 20, 22 hours.

I got 2 1/2 hours

of sleep last night.

There's a bunch of people

I'm frustrated with...

Just 'cause it's like,

oh, you're gonna have

to do that again.

That's not quite

what I said.

But I wasn't clear,

so it's frustration at myself,

because I didn't walk them

through it and demo it.

- I think everybody's excited

and at the same time

kind of tense

that it's, uh--

everything's coming in

so close,

and there's still

a sh*t ton of work to do.

- How tight are you on time

at this point?

- Very tight.

Like, I don't really want

to sit here and talk to you.

- How worried or scared

or excited are you right now?

- I don't have

an emotion yet,

'cause I'm not gonna stop

and think about it.

- How is janel holding up?

- Kind of like me,

except, you know,

she doesn't deal with

high-pressure situations

that don't go

according to plan

nearly as well as I do.

'Cause if you don't

have a plan,

you can make it up

as you go along,

and the plan's perfect.

She doesn't believe

that philosophy.

[Laughs]

But the list got thrown

out the window

a couple weeks ago,

so it's kind of more...

Fly-by-night at this point.

- Is it fair to say you're

kind of all-in at this point?

- Oh, way more than all-in.

Kind of

a little beyond all-in.

Not a good thing

credit card companies exist.

It's kind of like,

oh, sh*t.

I need more lighting.

I need $1,000.

- How many--how--

how long left?

Do you know the hours?

- I can tell you to the second,

but I'm not going to.

It will just depress me.

I hope customers show up.

I hope they'll show up.

Remember, you're stage managing,

so you're packing for 50.

- I am packing for 50.

[Murmurs]

Damn it!

This isn't even mine!

Mine isn't here.

There's enough crap--

ooh, duct tape.

I hope to God

I don't forget anything,

'cause if I do,

I'm f***ed.

- How can I use these?

How can I use these?

What can I f***ing

do with these?

I only got one washer.

I only got one nut.

I can't pull this in.

I can't pull that there.

How do I get this

to push?

Sh*t.

I need to drill a hole.

I need a drill bit.

I need a drill bit.

Homemade drill bit.

Hmm.

That looks like

a perfect tool to me.

I have

some serious concerns.

A couple people

overslept this morning

'cause we've all worked

too hard this week.

I don't have my entrance line

squared up.

I don't know how the hell

I'm getting people in yet.

It's kind of a problem.

We got rain that soaked

all of the face masks,

every 200 of them.

The power amp

was left outside.

All my controllers

and wires were left outside.

I'm short s.D. Cards.

I'm short...

A whole pile of sh*t.

Why the f*** is this

in here?

[Rock music ringtone]

Hello.

Okay, done.

I'll have it done

in a few moments.

- All right.

All right.

- Make sure the carnival

has exit signs.

If you have

another exit sign,

put it in zombie hunting.

- What time is it?

- Quarter till.

- Holy f***ing sh*t.

Yeah, I need

these fire extinguishers first.

- All right.

- Tell me

as soon as they're done.

Paint it red, paint it black.

Who gives a f***?

And then screw that down,

right on top of the wet paint,

move on.

We got too much sh*t

to deal with.

- You think everything

is gonna get done?

- [Laughs]

You're funny.

- You told me the damn exit

signs were up, and they're not.

And I called

the damn inspector,

and it's the last thing

the inspector wants

is to come in here,

and they're not up.

I gotta have 'em now.

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