Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl Page #9

---

Wife:
Liberal rubbish! What do you want with your jugged fish, Klaus?

Husband:
Pardon, my wide-thighed plum?

Wife:
What do you want with your jugged fish, you clothied git?

Husband:
Hallibut!

Wife:
The jugged fish is hallibut!

Husband:
All right. What fish do you have that is not jugged?

Wife:
Uuh, rabbit.

Husband:
What, rabbit fish?

Wife:
Well, it's all covered in fur.

Husband:
Well, is it dead?

Wife:
Well, it was coughing up blood last night.

Husband:
All right, I'll have the dead, unjugged rabbit fish.

Female Voice:
One dead, unjugged rabbit fish later.

ONE DEAD UNJUGGED

RABBIT FISH LATER

Husband:
Apalling!

Wife:
Oh, you're always complaining.

Husband:
What's for afterwards?

Wife:
Well, there's rat pie, rat pudding, rat sorbet or, uh, strawberry tart.

Husband:
Strawberry tart?

Wife:
Well, uh, it's got some rat in it.

Husband:
How much?

Wife:
Six. Rather a lot really.

Husband:
I'll have a slice without so much rat in it.

Female Voice:
One slice of strawberry tart without so much rat in it later.

ONE SLICE OF STRAWBERRY TART

WITHOUT SO MUCH RAT IN IT LATER

Husband:
Apalling!

Wife:
"Moan, moan, moan!"

Son:
Hello, mom! Hello, dad!

Husband:
Hello, son!

Son:
There's a dead bishop on the landing!

Wife:
Where...where's he from?

Son:
What do you mean?

Wife:
What's his diocese?

Son:
Well, he looked a bit Canterburyish to me.

Husband:
I'll go and have a look.

Wife:
I ---- who's bringing them here.

Son:
Well, it's not me.

Wife:
I put three out by the trashcans last week and the garbagemen won't touch them.

Husband:
It's the bishop of Leicester!

Wife:
How do you know?

Husband:
Tatooed on the back of his neck! I think I'd better call the police!

Wife:
Should you call the church?

Son:
Call the church police!

Husband:
That's a good idea! The church police!

Michael Palin:
Hello! What's all this then? Amen!

Wife:
Are you the church police?

Church Police:
Oh, yes!

Wife:
There's another dead bishop on the landing, sergeant!

Michael Palin:
Detective ----, madam! What is he? R.C. or ----?

Wife:
How should I know?

Michael Palin:
Tatooed on the back of their neck! Here, is that rat tart?

Wife:
Oh, uh, yes.

Michael Palin:
Disgusting! Right, men! The hunt is on! Let us kneel in prayer! Oh, Lord!

Church Police:
Oh, Lord, we deseach thee. Let us ---- the Bishop of Leicester.

The Almighty Powers of God: [Thunder]

Angels' Choir:
[Chant]

God:
The one in the braces, he done it.

Angels' Choir:
[Chant]

Husband:
It's a fair cop, but society is to blame.

Michael Palin:
Right, we'll arrest them instead!

John Cleese:
Come on, you! Are you in society? Are you in society?

Wife:
Ho, ho, ho, ho...

Michael Palin:
Right, we'd like to conclude this arrest with a hymn.

Michael Palin :

The whole thing's bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small.

The whole thing's bright and wonderful...

Lumberjack:
I never wanted to be in such a shambledy sketch. I always wanted to be...a lumberjack! Leaping from tree to

tree...as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia! The larch...the redwood...the mighty sequioa...with my best

girl by my side! The giant deadwood, the spruce...the little Californian root tree! We'd sing, sing, sing!

Lumberjack :

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK, I sleep all night and I work all day.

Choir & Girl :

He's a lumberjack and he's OK, he sleeps all night and he works all day.

Lumberjack :

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lavatory.

On Wednesdays I go shopping, and have buttered scones for tea.

Choir :

He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch, he goes to the lavatory.

On Wednesdays he goes shopping, and has buttered scones for tea.

Lumberjack :

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK, I sleep all night and I work all day.

Choir :

He's a lumberjack and he's OK, he sleeps all night and he works all day.

Lumberjack :

I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers.

I put on women's clothing, and hang around in bars.

Choir :

He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps, he likes to press wild flowers.

He puts on women's clothing, and hangs around in bars?

Lumberjack:

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK, I sleep all night and I work all day .

Choir & Girl :

He's a lumberjack and he's OK, he sleeps all night and he works all day.

Lumberjack :

I cut down trees, I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra.

I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa.

Choir :

He cuts down trees, he wears high heels, suspenders and a bra?

John Cleese:
What kind of god damn fairy cunny fairy f*ggot...

All except Girl :

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK, I sleep all night and I work all day.

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK!

MONTY:

PYTHONS:

FLYING CIRCUS:

[Liberty Bell - John Philip Sousa]

Concert Film

Produced and

Directed by

TERRY HUGHES:

Filmed Sequences

Directed by

IAN MACNAUGHTON:

Post Production

Director and Editor

JULIAN DOYLE:

Executive Producer

DENIS O'BRIENCONCERT

Concert Film Co-Producer

JAMES RICH, JR.

HOLLYWOOD BOWL:

Production Coordinator

ANNE HENSHAW:

Stage Manager

MOLLIE KIRKLAND:

Production Design

JOHN MACGRAW:

and

JOHN MILES:

Sound

STAN MILLER:

Wardrobe

DAY MURCH:

HAZEL PETHIG:

Props

CHARLES KNOBE:

BILL PEIRCE:

Make up

VE NEILL:

MAGGIE WESTON:

Promotion

CLOG HOLDING and

LARRY WALLON:

Press

PATTI WRIGHT:

Python's U.S. Coordinator

NANCY LEWIS:

Music Production

ANDRE JACQUEMIN:

Title Music

JOHN DUPREZ:

and

RAY COOPER:

CONCERT FILM:

Edited By

JIMMY B. FRAZIER

Lighting Design By

WILLIAM KLAGES:

Video Control

JOHN B. FIELD

JOHN PALACIO:

Audio Recordist

ED GREEN:

Script Supervisor

SANDRA PEARSON:

Unit Manager

DAVID R. HORNE

Production Manager

STEVE TERRY:

The End

Technical Directors

JOHN B. FIELD

JIMMY B. FRAZIER

KEN HOLLAND:

GARY MATZ:

Camera Operators

DAVE HILMER:

MIKE KEELER:

JOHN LEE:

DAVE LEVISOHN:

WAYNE ORR:

Technical Operations

Supervisor

STEVE DEAVER:

Videotape Operator

BILL CONROY:

Maintenance

BILL FEIGHTNER:

BERT WEYL:

Assistant Audio

JEFF FECTEAU:

CHRIS SEIDENGLANZ

LARRY STEPHENS:

RTS Phonelines

KENNETH NUNN:

Camera Assistance

DAN ANDRESEN:

JOHN MAYON:

Audio Utility

RICH BROWN:

MIKE WILSON:

Audio Re-Recording

JERRY CLEMANS:

Opticals Designed By

C.D. TAYLOR

Rear Projection

BACKGROUND ENGINEEERS

Assistant

Videotape Editors

MARK BERNEY:

KEN LASKI:

Production Associate

JOANNE FISH:

The End

Recorded in Imagevision By

COMPACT VIDEO:

SERVICES, INC.

Piss Off

Concert Film Assembly

ARDEN RYNEN:

Post Production Supervisor

SANDRA PEARSON:

With Thanks To

MARTY FELDMAN:

ANGUS JAMES:

DAVID LIPSCOMB:

TIM BROOKE-TAYLOR

ARISTA RECORD, INC.

CHARISMA RECORDS LTD.

Piss Off

Staged

and

Presented by

MONTY PYTHON:

COPYRIGHT � 1982

THE MONTY PYTHON BEGGING BOWL PARTNERSHIP

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

No. 26740

THIS PICTURE MADE UNDER

THE JURISDICTION OF

MOTION PICTURE ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA

THE CHARACTERS AND INCIDENTS PORTRAYED AND THE NAMES USED HEREIN

ARE FICTITIOUS, AND ANY SIMILARITY TO THE NAME, CHARACTER OR HISTORY

OF ANY PERSON IS ENTIRELY COINCIDENTAL AND UNINTENTIONAL

Rate this script:3.0 / 1 vote