Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl Page #8

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Graham Chapman:
As early as the late 14th century or indeed as late as the early 14th century, the earliest forms of jape were

divisible into the two categories in which I now intend to divide them. The earliest manifestation of the of the basic simple

precipitation jest incurred, as will be seen from the demonstration, a disproportional amount of internal resibility on the part

of the operator.

Terry Jones falling after tripping on Michael Palin's leg: [Bladonk]

Graham Chapman:
The secondary precipitation occurs when both protagonists and dupe are located indoors. It is true,

howeve, that this has involved the development of a special piece of machinery. But it is still no more than a simple variation

of primary precipitation.

Terry Jones falling after down after failing to sit down on a chair held by Terry Gilliam: [Bladonk]

Graham Chapman:
The opening-up of the African continent revealed a vast new source of wealth for humourous exploatation.

We are to see demonstrated how this was adapted to the basic precipitation jape.

Michael Palin:
[Cough]

Graham Chapman:
We now come on to a considera... [Cough] [Cough] We now come on to a consideration of the more

sophisticated transitive mode of japing, in which as we'll observe, the operator or inceptor remains totally unaware of the

humorous implications of his action. First...first we are to see the simple sideswipe or "wop."

Michael Palin:
Hey, Vance!

Terry Jones being knocked down by Terry Gilliam's wooden board: [Bladonk]

Graham Chapman:
Next, the "sideswipe and return."

Michael Palin:
Hey, Vance!

Terry Jones being knocked down by Terry Gilliam's wooden board: [Bladonk] [Bladonk]

Graham Chapman:
And now, the "double sideswipe and return."

Graham Chapman:
Hey, Vance!

Terry Jones and Michael Palin being knocked down by Terry Gilliam's wooden board: [Bladonk] [Bladonk]

[Bladonk][Bladonk]

Graham Chapman:
Popular as this jest has always been, however, it cannot compare with the ribbled connotations associated

with the dispatch of an edible missile. First...first the simple straightforward "offensive deposit."

Michael Palin throwing a pie in Terry Jones's face: [Blafs]

Graham Chapman:
Second...second the simple "sideways offensive deposit."

Terry Gilliam throwing a pie at Terry Jones sideways: [Blafs]

Graham Chapman:
Next, the simple "surprise deposit."

Michael Palin throwing a pie in Terry Jones's face: [Blafs]

Graham Chapman:
And now, the "foul pie."

Terry Gilliam pressing a pie into Terry Jones's abdominal areas: [Blafs]

Graham Chapman:
Uh, could we have new pies, please? Finally, finally we move on to the interesting but little known variant

normally designated the "three-course complex."

Terry Gilliam throwing a pie into Michael Palin's face: [Blafs]

Michael Palin throwing a pie into Terry Jones's face: [Blafs]

Michael Palin and Terry Gilliam simultaneously pressing pies into Terry Jones's face: [Face]

Graham Chapman:
But...but finally we must not forget the enjoyment, the satisfaction, and the edification to be derived from

the simple straightforward "sideways completely unexpected deposit."

Graham Chapman pressing a pie into John Cleese's face: [Blafs]

CHILDREN'S

HOUR:

Storyteller:
Once upon a time there was a little house in a dark forest. In this house lived a humble woodcutter and his wife

and their pretty daughter, Little Red Riding Hood.And in the middle of this deep, dark forest, there lived a vicious wolf! One

day Little Red Riding Hood sent off to take some things to her old grandmother who lived deep in the forest. The vicious wolf

saw Little Red Riding Hood and thought: "She looks very good to eat!" "Where are you going my, pretty one?" "Oh, kind sir,

to my grandmother's." "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" snirked the wicked wolf and dashed off through the forest to grandmother's house.

"Knock, knock, knock" went the wicked wolf. The door opened wide, but it wasn't grandmother who opened it. It was Buzz

Aldrin, America's #2 spaceman! But this was not Granny's little house at all, but the headquarter of NASA, the American

space research agency. The wicked wolf was shot by security guards. So all was quiet in the forest again. The humble

woodcutter and his wife sold the their story to Der Speigel for 40 000 DM. NASA agreed to limit the number of nuclear tests

in Granny's little house to two on Thursdays and one on Saturdays after tea.

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