Moscow On The Hudson Page #6

What are you doing?

Better to know who you are.

That way you know your limits.

You know who the hell you are.

All he said was practice and work on it.

- No, man, I am sh*t.

- You're full of sh*t.

- By the way, you are white.

- Thank you.

You just don't pick up soul

in two or three months...

...even if you are Russian.

And I'll tell you something else,

that self-pity won't get you nowhere.

The saddest thing in the world is life.

You telling me?

It gets so bad,

sometimes I don't think I'll make it.

Did I ever tell you I had a kid?

I met this girl, she got pregnant

and went back home to Alabama.

Thomas Alva Witherspoon, 5 years old.

- That's wonderful.

- When I think of that kid, I want to cry.

Why don't you cry?

- It's good for you.

- I don't have to cry.

When I was in Russia,

I did not love my life...

...but I loved my misery.

You know why?

Because it was my misery.

I could hold it.

I could caress it.

I loved my misery.

You know, I have a whole family

I will never ever see again.

You see? Now you see.

You know it. There it is.

Now you know that the saddest thing

in the world is life.

Yeah, man. Now you see.

Thank you.

Thank you for a wonderful night.

Boy, I feel great.

Take care. I love you.

If that was wonderful, what happens

when he hits deep depression?

Do you want to smell? You like it?

If she doesn't like it, you can bring it back.

But don't lose the sales slip.

- Okay, thank you very much.

- You're welcome. Have a nice day.

What are you doing here?

- You must to help me.

- What do you want?

I'm looking for blue jeans.

I love you.

I don't want to argue with you, Vladimir.

I know you love me, too.

Defections are in the blue jeans

department, fellow.

- What's happening?

- Hi, Lucy.

How are you?

I got some news.

- I'm turning in my badge.

- Why?

- I was due a raise and it didn't come.

- What are you going to do now?

I'm going to Alabama to see the kid.

That's good for you, but sad for us.

- I'll miss you.

- Why don't you two come see me?

We give you a call.

I want toilet water.

Tonight, we go and make party.

- No, I don't want to go with you.

- For Lionel. Why don't you want to go?

I don't want to argue.

I want toilet water.

If I go now, I don't ever come back, okay?

You hear me now?

I hear you now.

Goodbye.

- I want toilet water.

- For you.

Man.

Thank you, Lionel.

Thank you for everything.

You've been greatest friend to me.

I'm just a citizen.

You keep your pecker in your pocket.

Glad you came up here, Vladimir.

Just wanted to check in. How you feeling?

Good and bad.

The feet have been swelling up,

so I got to keep them up.

- Or so they say.

- You look good.

Sh*t, don't get old if you can help it.

In Russia, we honor the old people.

We take care of them.

I think I move out there.

Hello, sweet thing.

Don't turn up your nose, it blocks the light.

You hear from Lionel?

The boy sent a card. Says he's okay.

Did he find work?

I don't know,

but man do need to work to feel good.

Next week, we get tickets,

we go to the ballgame.

- I'd love to if my feet are better.

- They'll be better.

- Take care, Pops.

- So long, Vladimir.

Who is it?

Who are you?

Who the hell are you, KGB?

I have a letter for you. From your family.

A letter?

Give it to me.

Come in.

Where did you get this?

I knew your sister, Sasha, at school.

How did you get it here? To America?

We were permitted to leave

after only three years. We are Jewish.

You have a beautiful home.

Bad news?

My grandfather died.

He was a comedian.

I will leave you, Vladimir Ivanoff.

Thank you.

Please call me when you get settled.

It's New York.

Goodbye.

Shut up down there!

It's not a nightclub, a**hole!

If you're looking for trouble, you'll get it!

You don't like jazz, pal? He was comedian.

He don't care about nobody.

Hey, you f*** yourself!

Okay, pal? Okay, mister!

Hold still, motherf***er!

- Who are you?

- Where's the money?

- Why you do this?

- Just shut the f*** up!

- I am Russian.

- You're no f***ing Russian!

I am Russian!

I am Russian!

What was in the wallet besides money?

Some ID, driver's license, Social Security.

Easily replaceable, my friend.

You want to go to a doctor?

No.

This is a goddamn insane country.

They were so young,

and their eyes were cold like animals.

In Russia, I knew who the enemy was.

Here, it's too confusing.

You're overreacting.

I always heard

that Russians overdid things.

Is this liberty? If it is, it's false liberty.

Where are the poets?

What do you want, a perfect place to live?

There's no such thing.

Police said, even if they catch them,

they go free.

They're juveniles.

They get away with a lot of crap.

- Can I help you, gentlemen?

- Two coffees, please.

- An apple turnover.

- Make it two.

When you can't walk down the street,

is that freedom?

Do you really think

you were better off before in Russia?

It's freedom for a woman

to spread her legs like that on a magazine?

Hey, pal, you free?

Excuse us.

There's no freedom here.

If there is, she's an orphan.

To tell you the truth,

New York frightens me.

It's brutal. It's crazy.

What are you staring at?

Take it easy...

Don't tell me to take it easy!

No one tells me take it easy anymore.

What are you staring at?

What did he say?

He says that he's looking at

a giant a**hole from Moscow.

What's he saying now?

He said he's from Leningrad, giant a**hole.

He's been here seven years and he loves it.

He's telling me

to go back to Moscow, turd.

In Moscow,

we have to fight for a crumb of freedom.

Here, you sh*t on it!

He says that if I want law and order...

...I should go back

and stand in line for bread.

Stale bread.

What the hell is that?

Firecrackers. Independence Day.

I'm sorry.

Independence Day.

You know, it's, "When in the course

of human events, it becomes necessary..."

What is it? I forgot the rest.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident...

"...that all men are created equal...

"...that they are endowed

by their Creator...

"...with certain unalienable rights.

These are:

"Life.

"Liberty.

"Happiness."

Happiness.

Happiness.

What happened?

I got mugged. What are you doing here?

You want me to go?

No. It's a nice surprise.

I came over because I was going

to leave the key here.

Waiting for you, I fell asleep.

You don't look very nice.

Are you sure you're fine?

I'm strong like Russian bear.

- How you been?

- I've been okay.

I've missed you very much.

Me, too.

I'm not ready for marriage yet...

...but I would love to live

with an immigrant.

"Beloved family:

I received the news of Grandfather's death.

"Of course, I'm very sad...

"...but he lived on his own terms,

even to the end.

"I'm playing my dear saxophone again.

"Yes, I've finally gotten work

as a musician.

"My friend, Lionel, returned from Alabama

and he now has my old job.

"In the day, I'm free to do what I please

as long as it is legal."

A hot dog, please.

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