Mr. & Mrs. Smith Page #5

who the street says that she works for...

...you're Macy's and Gimbel's. Then she would

be the WE channel, and you would be...

Whatever channel competes against

the WE channel. Know what I'm saying?

The point is simple. Once you guys

get off the reservation, that's it.

- Then you're off the reservation.

- Eddie, how bad?

How bad is it?

You remember Canada.

- Kids' stuff next to this.

- That was you?

Is that a turn-on?

Didn't she try to kill you with a car?

A good friend stays out of it.

This is the facts.

If you two separate from each other, you got

a shot. Not a great shot, Johnny, but a shot.

You two stay together, you're dead.

Unless you can find something they want

more than they want you.

Found him. He's being held

in sub-basement D of the federal courthouse.

High security, motion and thermal.

Power's on the city grid.

This is as far as we go, Jane.

- Right. Thanks for everything.

- Good luck, baby.

...and this north-westerly blow coming

down from the middle of the country...

Do you guys mind changing the channel?

...one is moving in now...

Nick? Would you please get off

your fat ass and change the channel?

- I know it's tough. Thank you.

... tomorrow, that's going to make things...

you grab the kid. Simple and clean. Got it?

Got it.

Tell me, how many?

Does it matter?

- Should I go first?

- OK.

I don't exactly keep count, but...

I would say...

High 50s, low 60s.

I've been around the block,

but the important thing is...

- How?

- Some were two at a time.

- Honey?

- I'm...

- You monitoring the perimeter?

- I checked the perimeter.

- What about the police bands?

- I'm on the police bands.

- Connected...

- This is not my first time.

Think we've established that.

All right.

Turn left.

Left, John.

Left.

You don't need to talk to me like that.

OK? Be nice.

- Left, please.

- I can't go left.

See? There is no left. Look.

I have straight, or back the way I came.

There's no left.

Which way do you want?

- Just stay there and wait for my mark.

- See what I'm sitting in?

You see that?

- Take your time.

- Yeah, all right! Stay.

Stay there, wait for my mark. I'll find it.

Wait for my mark.

Almost there.

I don't know what happened. Just hold on.

John, what are you doing?

What are you doing?

Cut the lights on my signal.

Now. Kill the lights.

- Jane, kill the lights.

- What's that?

- Where?

- Turn 'em back on! Idiot!

- Here they come.

- Uncuff me.

Turn 'em back on.

Turn 'em back on!

- Turn 'em back on!

- All right!

- Give me the light!

- Shut up!

- Nick!

- Shut up.

Give me a gun.

Nick, give me a gun!

Zip it!

This guy's a wily one.

- You didn't wait for my signal.

- I improvised.

- You deviated from the plan.

- Plan was flawed.

- The plan was not flawed.

- Anal.

- Organized.

- Jane, 90 per cent of this job is instinct.

- Your instincts set off the alarms.

- And got the job done. Not The Jane Show...

No, it was The John Show. Half-assed.

Like Christmas, our anniversary,

the time you forgot to bring

my mother's birthday present.

- Your fake mother's birthday.

- You are always the first to break team.

You don't want a team,

you want a servant for hire.

I want someone I can count on.

- Jane, there's no air around you any more.

- OK, what is that supposed to mean?

It means there's no room for mistakes,

no mistakes whatsoever. No spontaneity.

- Who can answer to that?

- Well, you don't have to.

Cos this isn't even a real marriage.

- Who are you people?

- Shut up!

OK. So, now I realize

you witnessed the missus and I

working through some domestic issues.

That's regrettable.

But don't take that as a sign of weakness.

That would be a mistake.

Now, tell us what you know.

Why do both our bosses want you dead?

You underst... Honey.

Please?

Wrap it up.

Maybe it's not a good idea

to undermine me in front of the hostage.

Sends a mixed message.

Sorry.

Girls.

OK. Where was I?

- A mistake on your part.

- Shut up. Options.

I'm gonna lay out your options for you, OK?

Option A...

- If I could...

- Shut up.

Option A. You talk, we listen, no pain.

Option B. You don't talk.

I remove your thumbs with my pliers.

It will hurt.

Option C.

I like to vary the details a bit,

but the punch line is, you die.

Benjamin?

We're impatient people, Benjamin.

Can I get a soda? Or a juice, or some...

A, option A!

- Ow, that hurt!

- OK, that was a nice shot.

What's... You got a spasm?

I'm tied up.

Why don't you check my back pocket?

I'm not the target.

You are. Both of you.

They found out you're married, so they

teamed up and sent you to the same hit.

It was a joint task force, both companies.

Two competing agents living under

the same roof? It's bad for business.

- They wanted you to take each other out.

- You were bait.

Well, it's entry level.

Toehold into the company.

Couple hits, they bump me up to a desk.

It's pretty cool, actually.

- You keep the photo in your pocket?

- Was I supposed to frame it?

You get rid of it. You burn it.

Tradecraft 101.

Guess I skipped that day. I guess you skipped

the day about not marrying the enemy.

You were bait or you are bait?

Belt! Belt, belt, dude.

Two minutes.

One minute.

- A little help?

- Clear.

Clear.

My way out is a boat standing by in La Paz.

Cargo drop, Atlas Mountains. So what?

So at least apart we know what the odds are.

Let's just call this what it is.

And what it isn't.

All right, so it's a crap marriage.

All right, I'm a mess, you're a disaster.

We're both liars.

But you run, you'll always be running.

I say we stay and fight.

We finish this thing.

Then if you want to go, you can go.

Well, thank you.

What? "Let's call this what it is. "

Jesus Christ...

- Stop...

- Don't.

This is a really good store.

- See you in the next life, Jane.

- Likewise, John.

Sorry.

We'll talk about this later.

Jesus!

- I didn't touch a thing.

- Yes, you did.

- Sorry about the knife in the...

- I don't want to talk about it.

- I'll fly.

- I'll be bait.

I'm going clockwise. Watch my six.

Go! Move!

How's it look?

It's a piece of cake.

Watch these, they tend to jam.

So watch 'em.

You favor your left,

sweetheart, so I'll cover right.

Damn, that boat in La Paz is looking

pretty good right now, isn't it?

Well, it rains a lot this time of year.

There's nowhere I'd rather be

than right here, with you.

Shut up.

I'm interested in the progress

you've made in the last few weeks.

Doing all right, aren't we? I'm not gonna lie

to you, there were times when I wanted to...

...kill her, but...

- Likewise.

- Couldn't take the shot.

- That's a good sign.

- Who'd have thought?

- You have to battle through.

- That's marriage, right?

- Yeah. Take your best shot, and...

- Oh, we redid the house.

- We did. Yes, we did.

You know there will always be challenges?

Threats out there?

Yup.

But you can handle it together.

- So far.

- Yes, we can... So far?

What is that?

- I'm leaving room for the unknown.

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