Mr. Magoo Page #3

Synopsis: Mr.Magoo is an eccentric millionaire with very bad eyesight who refuses to use eyeglasses and therefore always gets into trouble. During the museum robbery he accidentally gets a priceless gem called the Star of Kurdistan, and begins to trace the way for the arch-criminals whose idea was to steal the gem - Austin Cloquet and Ortega "The Piranha" Peru, while two federal agents Stupak and Anders lead the manhunt for Mr.Magoo himself.
Director(s): Stanley Tong
Production: Walt Disney Productions
  2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
3.9
Rotten Tomatoes:
7%
PG
Year:
1997
87 min
220 Views


I just need to rest it.

Oh, well, you, you come on up front now.

Be careful.

- Okay.

- We'll take care of you, and...

Just sit down, and I'll head

for the shore.

- Oh, could we go to your house?

- Ah!

Well, I'll put the wheel to the keel

and the gas to the mast!

I am a rusty

crusty Viking

I hope I'm to your liking

Well?

- How do I look?

- Wow!

Waldo, we mustn't.

Well, w-why not?

l-ls there someone else?

- It's Mr Magoo.

- What?

Your government thinks Mr Magoo

stole the Star of Kuristan.

Well...

A-And you?

Do you think he did it?

Waldo, I need your help.

Hey, we don't have a warrant...

so be quick about it,

or we've both had it.

One, two, three.

- Testing. One, two, three.

- Got it, loud and clear.

Mayday! Mayday!

Magoo! He's back.

I'm a lusty

crusty Viking

I hope I'm to your liking

And I'm a Viking woman

A lusty, busty charmer

Please let me pierce your armour

And together we'll find love

- All right.

- Oh, no. Don't. Put me down.

- Here we go.

- My ankle's fine.

Here we go.

Ah. Well...

with a little more practise,

l, uh, could pop the question.

Quincy.

Oh, your house is beautiful.

Do you mind if I look around?

Look away. Look away.

I'll just put my hat

in the closet here, and...

May I make you a cocktail?

Ah, I'm famished. Do you think

you could cook us something?

Something hot?

Can I cook?

You may call me "Cordon Bleu" Magoo.

Uh, which way

to the little girls' room?

Ah, atop the stairs.

Let me light your way.

Ah, ah, your repast awaits you

down here, my dove.

Next I want you to put some water

on to boil.

And while we're waiting for that,

let's clean about, oh...

two or three sprigs of parsley.

Water on to boil.

Next, pat the chicken dry.

Now, take some lemon

and rub it on the chicken.

Now, make sure you get the whole

chicken. Lift the leg if you have to.

Now, I hope you're not cheating

and using bottled lemon juice.

If you are,

it just won't taste as good.

Why? Well, no peel appeal.

Angus, there you are, old friend.

Well, I can't play right now.

I don't have any time.

And now, lift both legs

high into the air. Left and right.

All right, then. Just one last time,

then you take it upstairs.

All right.

Come on, don't be a slacker.

You can do it.

Lift those legs!

Left and right.

Back and forth.

One, and two, and three, and four.

Come on, you can do it.

Lift both legs high into the air.

Lift them left and right.

And left and right.

Come on, you can do it.

Lift those legs high into the air.

And dance!

Come on.

Get your rear into gear.

Now, don't stop

until you're ready to drop.

Now you're cookin'!

Go get some sandpaper,

and sand that sucker smooth.

You don't want any bumps

on the surface.

I recommend a medium grade paper

because...

if you use a sandpaper that's too fine,

you're gonna be at it all day.

Now, whatever you do,

do not use a metal file...

because that will shred the surface

to a pulp.

Must be a Chinese recipe

to make the chicken tender.

Either that, or it's German.

Use short, light strokes,

and watch out for surface abrasions.

Don't rush it.

These things take time.

Unc?

I want him.

Magoo is goin' down!

- You hear me?

- What?

Come on!

Now...

after you finish drilling,

you want to make sure that

you squirt some caulk into those holes.

Unc.

There's something very important

we need to talk about.

Waldo, Waldo. How did you know?

I thought this was my little secret.

Then it's true!

Yes, and a lot of people

are in for a big surprise.

- Have you gone insane?

- Yes! Yes, l...

- You have gone insane.

- Insane. Insane with passion.

Their names are even the same:

Prunella.

- Prunella?

- Prunella.

Oh, oh, oh, you're talk...

You're talking... That's wonderful, Unc.

It's time that you met

this glorious thief...

who has stolen my heart.

Uh, I'll be right back.

Prunella!

Prunella!

Oh, my gosh!

He did do it.

Aha! There you are,

my Viking princess.

Come. I want you to meet someone.

Not now.

I can't wait any longer, Quincy.

I'm gonna ask you once, and only once.

Ah, you're going to propose!

Oh, my precious bonbon.

You read my mind.

You know what I came here for.

You know what I want. Give it to me.

Ah, you modern women.

You're so direct.

Angus.

Now what is this? Oh, we've been

playing fetch all day with this.

All right, boy, go ahead.

Hold it!

Unc, who is this?

Uh, Waldo Magoo, this is, uh,

Prunella Pagliacci.

I'm FBI. That man just stole

the Star of Kuristan.

Stole? In this house?

- He's heading for the driveway.

- Get up.

- He stole the Studebaker.

- What?

The eggplant mobile.

What? Watch your head.

This way.

Hold it! Stop or I'll shoot.

- Stop or I'll shoot!

- Don't worry. He's not gonna get away.

Get out of the way!

Get out of the way!

- Unc, there he is.

- Ah, yeah, all right.

- No, over there, over there.

- I see him. I see him.

- He's turning left.

- Left it is.

He's turning right.

Big truck! Big truck!

Hold on!

He's a crafty fella.

Taking evasive action. That won't work!

- You're not getting away.

- That's the wrong car.

He's back there.

Don't worry, my boy.

We'll catch him on the turnaround.

Hold on, Angus!

Hey, look out!

- Stop!

- Look out!

- Stop!

Don't panic, now.

We're only in some kind of tunnel.

Brakes! Brakes, Unc!

Unc, hit the brake!

Great Scott!

Those speed bumps. I tell ya.

I'll sue this city.

Uh, Prunella, uh, about the FBI.

You were saying?

Yeah, uh, uh, FBI.

l, I'm... I'm an undercover agent...

for the government.

Does this mean no story

in "The Opera News"?

I'm sorry I had to deceive you.

They think you stole

the Star of Kuristan.

That's what I've been trying

to tell you.

What? They, they what?

That burglar in your house was really

a notorious jewel thief...

who works for a man

named Austin Cloquet.

The bureau has learned that Cloquet

plans to sell the jewel...

tomorrow at a secret auction

up at a ski lodge.

Every billionaire gangster

in the world is coming...

except the most powerful of them all:

Ortega Peru, The Piranha.

No one's ever seen him.

He never goes anywhere.

So if we could get someone

to impersonate Peru...

we could get close to the gem

and recover it.

But who?

We lost him right here,

and Magoo didn't return home all night.

Why is he always

one step ahead of me?

Kenyawa Tambe just charged some tickets

to a ski resort.

Yeah, so what?

Kenyawa Tambe is one

of Luanne's aliases.

- Why didn't you tell me this before?

- I just found out.

- Oh really?

- Yeah.

You know, we're supposed to be working

as a team here.

- You're going around behind my back.

- If the pressure's too much for you...

- You'll take over! You'll take over!

- Sirs!

I shall go with you.

No. Young lady, this is strictly a job

for professionals.

Then why are the two of you going?

Welcome to the Rockies, gentlemen.

If you'll follow me to the limo,

I'll take you to Austin Cloquet.

Who the hell are you?

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Pat Proft

Pat Proft is an American comedy writer and actor. Born in Minnesota in 1947, Proft began his career at Dudley Riggs' Brave New Workshop in Minneapolis in the mid 1960s. He went on to perform as a one-man comedy act in the late 1960s. In 1972, Proft began working at The Comedy Store in Hollywood which led to work in television and film writing for the Smothers Brothers and Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker.Of the many feature films Proft has written, Wrongfully Accused, is the only one he also directed. It was released in 1998.Proft continued to work with David Zucker, and in 2013 announced he was working on a parody film with Zucker involving the Jason Bourne and Mission: Impossible series. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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