Mr. Magoo Page #4

Synopsis: Mr.Magoo is an eccentric millionaire with very bad eyesight who refuses to use eyeglasses and therefore always gets into trouble. During the museum robbery he accidentally gets a priceless gem called the Star of Kurdistan, and begins to trace the way for the arch-criminals whose idea was to steal the gem - Austin Cloquet and Ortega "The Piranha" Peru, while two federal agents Stupak and Anders lead the manhunt for Mr.Magoo himself.
Director(s): Stanley Tong
Production: Walt Disney Productions
  2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
3.9
Rotten Tomatoes:
7%
PG
Year:
1997
87 min
223 Views


Ortega Peru.

What's it to you?

Mr Peru never goes anywhere.

That's right.

I never go anywhere.

So when I go somewhere,

everyone thinks I am nowhere...

when I'm really there.

Now, let's put this show on the road.

Uh, sorry.

Mr Peru, uh, this way.

There are no signs.

So you've been staking out my uncle

all this time.

Is that right?

That's my job.

And the way you say you feel about him,

is, is that part of your job, too?

You all right, boy?

You saw this man?

Yeah. He just went up the mountain.

Said his name was Ortega Peru.

Magoo is Peru?

Magoo, The Piranha.

This is big.

We're gonna need some backup.

Don't you know how to open a door?

Gentlemen,

thank you all for coming.

We're especially honoured today

to have with us Mr Ortega Peru.

I was going to kill someone

this morning...

but I did it last night

so that I could be here.

Well, you're too kind.

Well, when you've changed

your clothes, these lovely ladies...

are waiting to serve you

with chilled champagne in the solarium.

Thank you.

Not bad. What do they mean?

Every time I kill a man...

I tattoo his portrait

on my body.

What do you do when you run out of room?

Stop killing people?

Hey, I bet Peru's got

some pretty nice tattoos.

You hombres, uh, go on ahead.

I have got to use

the, uh, powder room.

Come on!

Let's go!

- Champagne?

- Oh, yes.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Thank you.

Well, now that we're all here,

may I have your attention, please.

This is where

our little adventure began.

Gentlemen, may I present...

the Star of Kuristan.

The auction will commence

when you write down your opening bids.

Uh, I do not pass my cash...

until I get a close look

at the dingus.

Give it to me in my hand.

Mr Peru?

Your frog is leaking.

Oh. Well.

Gentlemen.

We have an impostor.

Mr Peru is Mr Magoo.

Why would Peru disguise himself

as Magoo?

Shut up, you idiot, and get him!

Keep your distance!

This hepcat has a black belt in mayhem.

Hold it!

Give me the Star of Kuristan.

The Star is mine!

Prunella!

The auction is off. Get out.

Come on, go!

My dear! By gum,

you almost had me fooled.

Unc, watch out.

She's got a gun.

Of course she has, Waldo!

She's a federal agent.

She's not what you think!

Now, Waldo, you're talking about

the woman who saved my life.

Yeah, well, nobody's perfect.

Oh, you can't tell me that yesterday

meant nothing to you.

I am a Viking

A lusty, trusty Viking

Yesterday sucked.

And you kissed a carp.

Prunella.

- Give me the jewel!

- This is all you ever wanted?

You're a true gentleman,

and there aren't many of those left.

Too bad you had to go

and get in my way.

All right, I got the gun now.

Halt or I'll fire!

Don't shoot!

It's me! Waldo!

Great Scott!

Waldo, she's bamboozled me!

She, she, she, she, she's a, a sneak.

Uh, after her!

W-Wait. That'll be easier

with your clothes on.

Oh, yeah, clothes.

Oh, yes, yes, clothes.

This way.

- Police!

- Let's beat it!

Hold it!

Come on, let's go!

Look out! Freeze!

- Hold it!

- Keep your hands up!

- There!

- Come with me.

Get that man!

Hold it!

You'll just have to wait your turn.

- She's over there!

- Where?

There!

- It's too late. It's all over.

- Balderdash, Waldo!

It ain't over

until we've cleared our good name.

Aha-ha! A snowboard.

After her, my boy!

- Wait, Unc, no!

- It's as easy as pie!

That's the wrong kind of board!

Hold it!

- Hold on, Angus!

- Stupak, go after them!

The women's boarder cross final

is about to begin.

Ready, set, go!

Get back here, you Jezebel!

I'll catch you, Prunella!

And the winner of the women's

boarder cross final is a man!

A man? On an ironing board.

Hey!

- Excuse me.

- Up there.

Halt!

Hold it right there!

Ah, a detour.

I'll get you, Prunella!

Freeze!

Watch out!

What?

Unc?

Unc! Unc!

Are you all right?

Don't take that detour, Waldo!

Stay right there.

We'll be right down.

Come on, buddy.

Look! There's

some footprints down there!

They went that way!

Come on!

This is a good idea, Waldo.

You're the real McCoy.

A true Magoo.

I want Magoo.

Who can imagine?

Luanne Le Seur and Mr Magoo.

Yes, we're talking best-seller.

- I can't believe they did it.

- That's it! That's the title!

Now, we just have to check the airports

and search all the hotels...

and make sure

they don't get away.

Senor Peru.

One moment, my darling.

Yes?

The Star of Kuristan is ready

for delivery. You have 15 million?

Of course. It will make

a fitting gift for my fiancee.

- We are to be married this weekend.

- I'll be there tomorrow.

Good.

The Star of Kuristan.

Uh, excuse me.

Do you have a Luanne Le Seur

registered here?

I'll be with you in a moment.

If you'd just sign here.

- Now, who did you want?

- Luanne Le Seur. Is she registered here?

See, we got an airline

late-luggage delivery...

but the party's not staying

at our hotel, so we're checking.

I see.

What hotel are you with?

The St. Paul.

I see.

It says "Fantasy World Costume Rental."

Haven't they let you out

a little before Halloween?

- Madam.

- Oh, thank you, young man.

Have a good afternoon, madam.

Angus. Angus.

Now, stop that.

Unc, let's get out of here.

He's onto us.

- Let go.

- Angus, no!

- He's attacking that old lady!

- Great Scott!

Unhand that woman, Angus.

Let me see.

Wow!

Hey, lady,

you forgot your stuff.

What's that?

It's an airline receipt

made out to "Prunella Pagliacci."

Prunella Pagliacci?

That woman is an impostor.

- Unc, that was Luanne Le Seur.

- Well, there, you see?

That's why Angus went after her.

Great Scott!

We had her within our grasp,

and she slipped through our fingers.

Balls of fire!

Oh, good dog, Angus. Good dog.

This receipt is for Brazil.

Why would she go to Brazil?

- She's going to Peru.

- She'd go to Brazil to go to Peru?

- Exactly.

- But why?

To get more for the ruby.

- Peru?

- Exactly.

- But then why go to Brazil?

- Peru is in Brazil.

- Peru is in Brazil?

- Ortega Peru is in Brazil.

Ortega Peru! Of course.

And that's why we're going to Brazil.

Come on, Waldo.

Unc, l, I think this is the place.

Attaboy, Waldo.

Ease up there, Angus.

I like your badge.

Angus.

I'm going on ahead.

You stay here.

I'm gonna eyeball the situation.

Unc, um, m-maybe I should do

the eyeballing.

Father.

Maybe we should leave out the bit

about "till death do us part."

- She's nervous enough already.

- Jefe.

Luanne Le Seur is here, Jefe.

Javier, after Rosita and I go

to EuroDisney...

have the Le Seur woman killed,

but quietly.

If you disturb my guests,

I will be very disappointed.

Monkey bars. Must be

a children's playground.

Oh! Hello, little girl.

Did I interrupt you

in your afternoon nappy?

Now, now, we mustn't let

the grown-ups know that we're here.

Now here's something sweet,

a chocolate.

You go ahead. That's it.

Now, you go on back to sleep.

There you are, honey.

You're the ugliest child

I've ever seen.

And needs a change of diaper, too.

Oh, oh, Waldo.

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Pat Proft

Pat Proft is an American comedy writer and actor. Born in Minnesota in 1947, Proft began his career at Dudley Riggs' Brave New Workshop in Minneapolis in the mid 1960s. He went on to perform as a one-man comedy act in the late 1960s. In 1972, Proft began working at The Comedy Store in Hollywood which led to work in television and film writing for the Smothers Brothers and Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker.Of the many feature films Proft has written, Wrongfully Accused, is the only one he also directed. It was released in 1998.Proft continued to work with David Zucker, and in 2013 announced he was working on a parody film with Zucker involving the Jason Bourne and Mission: Impossible series. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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