Mrs. Doubtfire Page #9

do you have any closing remarks?

Nothing further, Your Honor.

Mr Hillard, since you've determined

to act as your own attorney,

you are entitled to make

a closing statement at this time.

Your Honor, in the past two months,

I've secured a residence, refurbished it

and made it "an environment

fit for children". Those are your words.

I'm also holding down a job as a shipping

clerk. So I believe I met your requirements.

Ahead of schedule.

In regards to my behavior,

I can only plead insanity.

Because, ever since my children were born,

the moment I looked at them,

I was crazy about them.

Once I held them, I was hooked.

I'm addicted to my children, sir.

I love them with all my heart.

And the idea of someone telling me I can't

be with them, I can't see them every day...

It's like someone saying I can't have air.

I can't live without air,

and I can't live without them.

Listen, I would do anything. I just want

to be with them. I know I need that, sir.

We have a history.

And I just... They mean everything to me.

And they need me as much as I need them.

So, please.

Don't take my kids away from me.

Thank you.

Mr Hillard...

You've been able to fool a lot of people into

believing that you're a 60-year-old woman.

No easy task.

And your little speech seemed to be

very heartfelt and genuine.

But I believe it to be a terrific performance

by a very gifted actor. Nothing more.

- No. It's not that.

- The reality, Mr Hillard,

is that your lifestyle over the past month

has been very unorthodox.

And I refuse to further subject

three innocent children

to your peculiar

and potentially harmful behavior.

It is this court's decision

to award full custody to Mrs Hillard.

Oh, God, no.

You will have supervised

visitation rights every Saturday.

Supervised, sir?

A court liaison will accompany you

when you spend time with the children.

I am suggesting a period of psychological

testing and perhaps treatment for you.

We will re-examine this case

one year from now.

Thank you. Court is adjourned.

I don't do laundry.

I don't do windows. I don't do carpets.

I don't do bathtubs. I don't do toilets.

And I don't do diapers.

My children have been potty-trained

for some time.

Well, I don't do washing.

I don't do basements.

I don't do dinners. I don't do reading.

Yes. Well, we have your number.

Thank you so much for coming.

- We'll be getting back to you.

- Thank you.

I'll show you to the door.

Yes, here we are. Please...

Laura, that shipment

has been delayed three times.

Yes, but...

Laura, I'm not gonna wait

another six months for it.

You do that. Call me back.

Oh, guys, please don't be so depressed.

Everything's gonna be all right.

- I miss her spaghetti.

- I miss her jokes.

I miss her stories.

Don't worry. We will find someone.

There are plenty of people out there.

Nobody like her.

All right. I admit things were a lot nicer

when she was around.

The house was so warm and cosy, the beds

were always made, and the dinner was...

She isn't real! We have to stop referring

to her as if she were a real person.

Hello, my dears!

We have a wonderful show today.

We have Mr Van Zandt from the Sierra Club,

and he's going to bring some animals

that are endangered species.

- Do you know what that means, poppets?

- Did you say "puppet"?

Oh, no, dear! It's Kovacs! Welcome, Kovacs!

Hi, guys. Did you say "extinction"?

Does something stink?

It's not something smelling bad. Extinction

means there's no more of a particular animal.

- Oh, my God.

- Doesn't that make you a little mad?

- Very mad!

- Tell people about it.

I'm mad! You know why? Because next,

it's the chimps! There are fewer chimps...

Doesn't it make you mad that

humans play your parts in movies?

Ooh! "Planet of the Apes": Who gets the role?

Roddy McDowall! I'd be better than that!

- I'd be better than Charlton Heston!

- And your rug is better, too.

You could fly to Persia on that rug.

- Shall we tell them where we'll be tomorrow?

- Yeah. They wanna know.

Tomorrow, poppets,

we're taking a wonderful trip.

But you don't have to pack

because we're going in our mind.

We're going across the Atlantic Ocean

to England, where I came from.

- You came from England?

- It's a wonderful country.

- Do you know about England?

- It's an island.

It's an island, dear. A glorious one.

- They have a queen and a royal family.

- Oh! Just like a poker game!

- It's a full house.

- Some cards don't live at home any more.

Thanks to mobile phones.

Do you know what language

they speak in England?

- Pakistani?

- That's right. In many stores they do.

But we'll get into that tomorrow,

boys and girls.

- You owe me a kiss, Kovacs.

- I'm gonna give you two.

- All right, dear.

- Here's one on the cheek.

- And here's a monkey bite!

- Oh, you wicked, wicked monkey!

Well, that's all for today. Bye-bye.

Cut!

That's a wrap, folks! Thank you very much.

We're a smash! Number one in our time slot!

Yes! Calls from Detroit, Cleveland,

Chicago, Los Angeles...

- All with offers to syndicate.

- Hollywood!

Daniel?

Yes?

- Miranda.

- Could I talk to you?

Yeah.

I'll be right out. Just wait here.

Welcome to Euphegenia's house.

A little drafty but...

you know. It's nice.

What can I do for you?

First of all, congratulations on the show.

Thanks. You got to see the dress rehearsal.

We've... The kids...

We've been watching every day.

It's nice to know they can see me every day.

Look, Daniel. I know it's gonna take

a long time to get over all the fights and

all the horrible things

we said to each other.

It's... It's so hard.

But I know somehow you and I will be

all right and we'll get through this.

But the kids...

I don't wanna hurt our children.

So what do you want me to do?

You want me to pretend everything's

all right? Put on a happy face? Smile?

Jesus, Miranda.

You took my children away from me.

I can only see them now with supervision.

Some woman watches me with the kids

like I'm some sort of deviant.

If I try to hug 'em, she wonders why.

You know what that's like?

You just sat there in that courtroom and

let that judge pass that despicable sentence.

- I was angry.

- Oh, God.

- You hurt me, too!

- You ripped my heart out!

You lied... You know what?

I don't wanna do this any more.

I don't wanna do any more

"who did what to whom".

Ever since this happened,

I've been trying to make sense out of it.

And the only thing I know in my heart

is that the children were happier

when Mrs Doubtfire

was a part of their lives.

Yeah?

She... brought out the best in them.

- She brought out the best in you.

- And you.

They miss her terribly.

- What are you saying?

- Daniel, the kids need you.

I need them.

Well, tomorrow we'll have Frank,

who is a make-up artist.

A big knock at the door.

Who could that be?

And do we have enough time?

Mr Sprinkles, boys and girls!

Hello! What do you have for me today?

Mrs Doubtflier,

I've got a letter from Katie...

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