Multiplicity Page #3

---

Yes. 1 :
30. | In fact, I repeated it twice.

Do you want solid or laminate?

That's strange. For some reason | 2:30 just stuck in my head.

I'll stick something in your head.

You're fired.

Take your New York watch and | your fat ass and get out of here.

- For being a few minutes late? | - No, no. Three, four. That's a few.

You were 60 minutes late. | That's not a few. Hit it.

Is this a negotiating tactic?

I'm on my way.

Take your hands off me, now.

Now I'm getting mad. You've made | a point. What's happening now?

Are you guys on a break? | Let's go!

- What got into you today? | - I should've fired him long ago.

- But he has like 34 kids. | - He's been married 17 times.

- What have you got there? | - You ought to see these plans.

Hi, it's me. I need to work late. | Could you pick up the kids?

- Sure. | - It's not that simple.

- It's picture day at ballet class. | - That'll be cute.

Go home, give her a bath, mousse | her hair and be there at 4:30.

- Can you do this? | - I can do it. I'll see you.

Okay. Bye.

- Hello? | - Take the kids to the ballet.

- Wait. I was just teeing off here. | - Not today, pal. See you later.

I don't want a shower. | I want a bath. I hate showers!

Zack, get her on that side. | Contain her.

- You're going. | - I'm not going.

Let me see. | Turn around.

Good. I like it. | Let's go.

Hi. Sorry we're late. | We're here for the pictures.

Didn't anyone call you? | It was changed to tomorrow.

- No, seriously. The pictures. | - Tomorrow.

Get a photographer down here now.

- Right now. | - I'll see what I can do.

Hello? She's not here right now.

You can leave a message.

Hold on a second.

Can you call back? | I have a little emergency here.

One of the kids swallowed a spoon. | No, just a teaspoon. She'll live.

Keep it down!

- He took it. | - Zack, give it back to her.

I'm telling you, give it back.

- Doodyhead! | - You're a doodyhead.

Bath time. Go on up and don't | come out till you're married.

- Could we have some cake? | - Get up there.

I'm sorry. This couple wanted | to see the same house over and over.

- We're both here. | - Of course, sir. Right this way.

- This is like having an affair. | - We're too busy to have an affair.

I think he likes you.

I like him too, but there's no | future in it. Besides, I have you.

What are we celebrating?

You know. | I've been thinking...

- This isn't working out. | - What?

This new arrangement. | I'm not getting anything done.

All I do is cook and do laundry.

I pick up and drop off the kids, | dress them and clean up after them.

I've done that for ten years. | You've done it for a month.

- It comes more naturally to you. | - How so?

You're a nurturer. You are.

First of all you have two | X-chromosomes, and I have...

It's scientifically proven. That's | why you have breasts and I don't.

Just what are you saying?

This system isn't working. We have | to go back to the way it was.

You take care of the house. | and I do what I need to do.

And what do you need to do?

I have to go back to work. | And that's it.

No, that's not it. I love my job, | and I'm doing great at it.

Valerie is moving me into estates. | I'll be making a good living soon.

I know it's hard, and I can imagine | your day, but I'm not quitting.

We'll just have to work it out. | And that is it.

It's funny you think that's it. | Because that's not it.

What I said... That's it. | What you said... not it.

No, Doug. This is it.

I can't believe | you lured me here for this.

Can I have some water? | I didn't lure you into anything.

I had no idea. You tease me | and I kind of liked it...

But I thought | you were a happily married guy.

- I sleep in the guest house. | - My God. Is it that bad?

It's pretty bad.

She's sleeping with another guy. | That's the God's honest truth.

- She doesn't even know I exist. | - It must be so hard for you.

- It is. | - Do you want to go to my place?

- I understand... | - Doug, are you all right?

- What's wrong? | - It's a football injury. Rose Bowl.

- You played? | - I fell out of the bleachers.

Can I help you to the car?

- Let's get some dessert. | - You're still hungry?

My life's a shambles. | I need pie.

Can you breathe? | Should I Heimlich you?

- I'll get you some more water. | - No! Laura! Look at me.

- How do I look? | - Crazy.

Let's order. Let's get something | to eat. We'll feel better.

- I'm going to the ladies' room. | - Me too. To the men's room.

I mean, I'll accompany you to... | You know what I mean.

Boy, everything looks so good.

Doug, that's the wine list.

I thought there were a hell of | a lot of beverages on there.

Will you order? You know what I | like. Anything with barbecue sauce.

- What are you doing here? | - It's my favourite restaurant.

- I know. What about Noreen? | - She's a colleague. We're talking.

- Come on. You're up to something. | - Are you jealous?

- You can't cheat on Laura. | - You can't. I never get to see her.

- This isn't working out. | - What do you mean?

Our deal. We'll switch. I'll go back | to work and you'll stay home.

I'm going to do housework?

I thought you were joking. There's | no way that's ever going to happen.

I got you the job, pal!

You think I'm a genie? You rub a | lamp and I do what you want me to?

- I have things I need to do. | - Look, things change...

You took away my wife, my family, | my friends. All I have is my job.

I'm doing the work you couldn't do. | And I'm making it pay, so back off.

- I'm just washing his face. | - Of course. Please, carry on.

- What are you doing? | - I had to do something.

We'll talk later. I'll distract | Laura. Get Noreen out of here.

He's in way over his head.

Doug, I'm ready for dessert. | That's not your sport coat.

I switched with a guy | in the men's room.

We traded. Men do that all the time.

- Let's go. | - I thought you wanted pie.

It's your wife!

- May we join you? | - Have we met?

- What happened to your shirt? | - Water spots.

- I don't want to fight about this. | - Great.

- About what? | - My job.

Hell, no. We don't want to fight | about that. That'd be dumb.

- Laura, do you love me? | - Of course I love you.

Then kiss me.

Come on. Let's go.

That guy looks a lot...

I'm sorry... He's kissing her!

- Come on. | - Stop pushing?

Hi. | Can I talk to you for a second?

Sure. | You want a beer?

Actually I could use a couple.

Two, I'd like you to meet...

- Three. | - Hi, how are you?

Are you nuts? | Are you mentally nuts?

- I have it all figured out. | - What do we need him for?

He's going to help me with the kids, | and when you're not working -

- you guys can hang out together.

- I'm giddy! | - We could do a lot together.

- You're lonely. I got you a friend. | - Where is he going to stay?

Here with you. That way you have a | friend and a roommate. Look at him.

I have an idea. How about no?

Doug, he needs space. | It's a shock. I think.

The idea was for you to work while | I was with Laura and the kids.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes