Muppet Treasure Island Page #7

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- Hey, when do we eat?|- Oh, my feet are killing me.

Of all the backwater,|no-class piles of sand in the ocean...

you had to wash up on mine.

Benjamina, I just want you|to know that I'm sorry.

Sorry? No, no,|sorry doesn't cut it.

You left me standing|at the altar!

I was on a ship headed|for Zanzibar. I got cold feet.

You're a frog.|You're supposed to have cold feet.

My mother came|all the way from France.

I was wearing|her white lace dress.

The cake was filled|with lemon custard!

Mina, fate has brought us|together again.

Well, actually, buried treasure|and pirates brought us together...

Don't you start with me|about pirates!

After you jilted me, I took|up with this Bernie Flint.

- The man was totally codependent.|- You and Captain Flint?

Well, he was a pirate, I was a lady.|You know the story.

Smolly? He marooned me.

Me!

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Th-This is all my fault.|Oh, what have I done to you?

- Mushy-mushy! - Kissy-kissy!|- Oh, lovey-dovey!

Bravo, Cap'n.

Touchin' reunion, Benjamina.

This seems to be your day|for renewing old...

acquaintances.

Oh, well, hello, Long John.

- Oh, no! Him too?|- Well, if you'd married me.

Well, what does that|have to do with it?

- I'm a pig! I need commitment! - Commitment?|- You knew that about me when you...

Now, I'm not gonna be really patient|about this, Benjamina.

Where is the treasure?

Um, I just may not|tell you. Hmm.

Oh, don't play games with me, lass.

I tell you,|I'm not a patient man.

Stop! Give up now...

weak and tiny pirate mans...

or die like stinking dogs.

Hmm, we see you have|boom-boom sticks.

Bye-bye.

Oh, brother!

- Now, Benjamina.|- What?

Where is the treasure?

There is no treasure.|I- It was all a clever ruse. H-Ha!

So where did you get that|gold necklace you're wearing?

The one made|of Spanish doubloons.

Aye.

Um...

Shopping Channel?

No!

Shh.

- Shh.|- Shh.

Oh, fiddle!

Make yourself useful.|Try and save us. Do something!

Shh!

Oh, Master Hawkins,|you've come to rescue us.

I should've let him|live in my finger.

We're ready,|Master Hawkins.

- Do you think this will work, Dr Livesey?|- Oh, yes!

My research indicates|that pirates are very superstitious.

Boogie, boogie, boogie!

I am the ghost|of Samuel Arrow.

Boogie!

Come on.|We've got to save the captain!

You were so good, Mr Arrow.|That was beautiful.

What do we do next?|What do we do now? Uh,Jim?

- Weigh anchor? - Weigh|anchor. - Weigh anchor. Okay.

- Set the sails.|- Set the sails!

- And you, Squire Trelawney.|- Uh, n-n-now, Master Hawkins, I-I-I...

You take the helm.

Ah! Step aside, Mr Bimbo.|I shall be taking the helm.

Hurry, Rizzo!

I'm going as fast as I can.

Oh! Smolly, my love!

Oh, oh!

Smolly!

You can't hurt my frog!

Don't tell him anything, Mina.|I beg you!

He'll only kill you too.|Don't listen to him!

Now...

for the last time...

where's the blasted treasure?

- Yeah!|- Hah!

Stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop!|The treasure's at my place.

North trail, split-level hut with the|pink lawn furniture. You can't miss it.

Now free him at once,|you scoundrel!

You know, I'm beginning to see|a pattern in the men I date.

Yeah, well, uh, uh,|the past is behind us.

And the future below us.

Oh, it's okay, Mina.|We're together again.

Yes, despite it all...

we have each other.

- Oh, don't cry for me, Benjamina.|- Pardon?

Was I dumb|or was I blind

Or did my heart|just lose its mind

Why'd I go and throw

Our perfect dream away

Looking back|I'll never know

How I ever let you go

But destiny could see|we deserved

To have another day

Love led us here

Right back|to where we belong

We followed a star|and here we are

Now heaven seems so near

Love led us here

Now I know that life

Can take you by surprise

And sweep you off your feet

Did this happen to us

Or are wejust dreaming

Love led us here

Right back|to where we belong

We followed a star|and here we are

Now heaven seems so near

Love led us here

So take my hand

And have no fear

We'll be all right

Love led us

Here

Oh, Smolly.|You saved me.

Come on, men!|It's back to Blighty now, lads!

The treasure's all ours!

Hurry. Come on.|Get in the boat.

Long John! Long John!|Look! The ship!

Uh, yeah...|What are they doing?

There's no one on board.

It's coming|straight for us!

I- It's the ghost|of Captain Flinty.

He's coming to kill us.

Come back, you cowards!

Hawkins.

Look. It's the captain|and the pig.

Oh, no!

Head for those cliffs.

- Head for the cliffs, Squire.|- Aye, aye! Uh. Oh.

Oh, Beakie, Beakie.|Look, look!

I think we're going to need a net.|Come along.

Get back there,|you yellow-bellied bilge rats!

I'm not losing|that treasure now! Get out!

We're lowering the net now.

All right, let's go. Okay.|That's it. Beautiful. Beautiful.

- We're coming, Captain Smollett!|- Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

- Steady! Steady!|- Careful!

Au revoir, mon capitaine.

- We got 'em!|- Oh, ho, ho! Yes!

- Ahh!|- Oh, no!

Waldorf, you old fool!|We're heroes!

We saved the pig|and the frog!

Well, it was too late|to save the movie.

Welcome aboard,|Captain Smollett.

And welcome|to your lady pig friend.

Ah! Look out! Ah!

The captain must have his sword.

Whoa!

Wow! Ha!

Yah!

Captain!

Fight, you idiots!

Captain!

- Here! - Ha!|Ah! - Hi-ya!

- Wah!|- All right! No more Ms Nice Guy!

No one maroons me|and gets away with it!

- Good to see you alive, Mr Arrow.|- Huh! Thank you, Captain.

Geronimo!

Oh, what am I gonna do? Oh!

- Come on! - Come|on, you! Hey! - Oh!

- Oh, sorry.|- En garde!

- Mi casa es su casa.|- Ah, I make cheese out of you. Come on!

- Hi-yee, De Soto! Hi-ya!|- Oh, yah!

!Cucaracha!

- Hah!|- Ahhh!

Come on,Jerry!|He's just a kid!

- Ohhh!|- Okay, okay, okay!

Okay, I give.|Uncle. Uh, I'm dead.

Oh, oh, oh, Mr Bimbo, help!

- Am I dead?|- Huh?

- Wonderful!|- Uh...

- Mr Bimbo, that was some amazing swordplay.|- Take that!

Oh, watch out, Mr Arrow!

Well, thank you. But aren't you|supposed to be fighting against us?

Are you kiddin'?|I love you guys!

- Hmm.|- Hmm.

Cowabunga!

Come on. Fight.|Where are you?

- Ohhh!|- Hmm.

And as for you!

- Oh!|- Silver!

Hmm-hmm. Hah!

Hah! Hah!

Why don't you pick on|somebody your own size, huh?

- Ah. Ha-ha-ha-ha!|- Wow!

Yes! Yes! Smolly! Yes!

- Hah!|- Yes!

Ha-ha, Silver!

Ha-ha, ho-ho!|Not bad for an amphibian.

Smolly, Smolly, he's our man!|If he can't do it, no one can! Yea!

- Ho-ho-ho! Ha-ha! -|Excuse me. - Pardon? Whoop.

Ohhh!

Uh... Uh... Uh...

I'm a frog.|You know, slippery hands.

Uh, you know, I never really believed|that violence solved anything anyway.

Really? Allow me|to disagree, Cap'n.

Kill Captain Smollett,|and you'll have to kill me.

Kill Jim,|and you'll have to kill me.

Kill Gonzo,|and you'll have to kill me.

Kill Squire Trelawney|and Mr Bimbo...

and you'll have to|negotiate strenuously.

Going somewhere,|John-John?

Well, Mr Hawkins,|it seems your little family...

has come together|against me.

- We're doomed.|- Yeah.

Well, you know, I, for one,|feel better about myself.

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