Muppet Treasure Island Page #6

---

Can't hear ya.

No?

And we being|the rightful owners.

Flint's own crew, who shed|our blood getting it here!

Join us, lad.

Donate your compass to the|treasure hunt and get a full share!

Hey, ho, ho|It's one for all for one

And we'll share|and share alike with you

And love you like a son

We're gentlemen of fortune|and that's what we're proud to be

And when you're|a professional pirate

You'll be honest|brave and free

The soul of decency

You'll be loyal and fair|and on the square

And most importantly

When you're|a professional pirate

You're always in the best

Of company

- Down!|- There! Captain Smollett coming to rescue me.

Don't get your hopes up, laddie.

I've taken the liberty of hiding|a few of my best men aboard.

If a second round follows...

it means they've|taken over the Hispaniola...

and I'm the new cap'n.

Now, then.

Yea!

How infortuitous our firearms|weren't loaded, Beakie.

I'll say.|We might have shot somebody.

I'm the only friend|you got in the world now,Jim.

Let's dig up|the treasure together, eh?

Shipmates, remember?

- We'll be needing your compass, though.|- No.

I'll be taking it|either way,Jim.

Yea!

Come on then, lad.|Let's not waste time.

Well, it's too dark|to do anything now.

We'll camp here|and wait for first light.

Oh. Hey, Rizzo, relax!|Don't be so afraid.

Oh, I've gone|way beyond afraid.

Right now I'm somewhere between|bed-wetting and a near-death experience.

- Good night, boys. -|Well, good night. - Right.

- 'Night, Rizzo.|- Yeah, sure.

Gonzo?|Is that you, Gonzo?

Boy, Gonzo, it sounds like you're|coming down with a little cold there.

I- I-I'm just gonna light a match,|if you don't mind, here.

Long John, look!

Flint hung 'em up there|after he gullied 'em...

to mark the trail|to the treasure.

Wicked sense of humour|ol' Flinty had.

- I-It's a sign. This is a cursed place.|- Yeah!

Well, there's|an informed opinion.

All right,Jim, lad,|where to from here?

"On a heading|of 179 degrees...

walk 312 paces|from where the dead men hang high. "

That way!

- We're gonna go? We're gonna...|- Come on!

Howdy vous,|stinky froggy man and friends.

I am Spa'am,|High Priest of the Boars.

You mucho wickedness|go trespass on island.

Now you suffer the wrath|of our queen...

Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal.

Terrific. Captured by crazed wild pigs and|sacrificed hideously before a pagan altar.

- Are we lucky or what?|- Silence, smelly sailor mans!

You have violated|sacred island.

Uh-uh, excuse me.|I am Captain Smollett.

We mean no harm|to your culture.

We embrace all creatures|of different nationalities.

Silence!

Bring forth|Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal.

That can't be good.

Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal|Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal

Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal|Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal

Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal|Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka|Boomshakalakalaka

These tropical floor shows|are so exotic.

Yeah, and the food|is to die for.

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka

Boomshakalakalaka|Boomshakalakalaka

Boom Sha-Kal-a-Ka-a-a-al

Bonsoir, mes ami.

Come, Flaubert.

Flaubert! Get away,|you stupid anteater!

- You spoiled my entrance.|- Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal

Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal|Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal

- Oh, knock it off!|- Huh?

Oh, ha-ha. Greetings.|Moi am Benjamina Gunn.

Maroonee, temptress|and queen of this i...

Smolly, can it be you?

Benjamina.

Hi-ya!

Oh, uh, old girlfriend.

Tie 'em back|in their stakes!

...306, 307, 308, 309...

- 310, 311, 312.|- This is it.

What if Clueless is right?|Wh-What if it is c-cursed?

I'll show you what|I think of your curse.

You mewling, little,|lily-livered...

toffee-hearted,|little wuss of a crustacean!

"Treasure buried here. "

Oi, we don't even|have to dig it up!

Come on, mates!|The treasure's ours!

There's no treasure, Silver!|You brought us here for nothin'!

- Yeah!|- And now we'll be tried for mutiny!

- That's right!|- Yeah! - Yeah!

I say we should kill him!

Run, lad!|Save yourself!

- Why are you doing this for me?|- Because I like you, boy.

I hope you didn't think|I was lying about that.

- Get him! -|Run! - Get him!

Take greeny, flippy,|bulgy-eyed one away.

- What?|- Others stay. Chop-chop!

- What? Oh. Ah. Oh. Uh.|- Hey, wait! Where are you taking him?

Hmm ver-di-dee-voom|Ver-di-dee-doo

Ver-di-ver-di-dee-voom|ver-di-voo

Bork, bork

Hmm. First take-ee the mousie,|then skewer the mousie!

- Well, how else do you think we were gonna get him in this movie?|- Yeah.

- Oh!|- Whoa!

- Oh. I wish we were back at the Admiral Benbow eating table scraps.|- We're about to become table scraps.

Well, this is terrible! This is the|worst thing that's ever happened to me!

- Wait a second! I've been cut loose!|- Hiya, guys.

- Jim, they've got Captain Smollett.|- I know. Come on. We've got to get help.

Oh, okay.|Where will we go?

Tom, Tom, Tom!|Ohhh!

Dead Tom's dead!

Long John shot him!

But Dead Tom's|always been dead.

That's why he's|called Dead Tom.

- Oh.|- Can we get on with this? Get outta here, will ya?

- Clueless!|- Yeah, yeah?

- Give it to him!|- Yeah!

But, uh, it's not|even his birthday.

- No, no, no, no! The paper!|- Oh.

This is for you.

- The Black Spot?|- Yeah.

You dare to give me|the Black Spot?

- Uh, he-he told me to.|- Wh... Shut up, will ya?

And it's drawn|on a page from the Bible.

You tore a page|from the Holy Scriptures...

- to make a pirate's death sentence?|- Uh, here.

Ohhh, the red hot|gates of hell...

are creeping open!

Satan is heating|his pokers for you...

you blasphemous heathens!

- Fall down on your knees...|- Oh!

and beg for deliverance|from damnation!

- Please forgive us.|- Please forgive me!

Very good.|You're forgiven.

- Oh, thank you.|- Now untie me!

Okay, okay. Untie him.

- And let's go find the treasure!|- Yeah!

Oh, oh, you are a good man.

You are a kind man.|A handsome man.

- Precious.|- Oh, he's... You're precious a-and...

- Beautiful.|- And he's beautiful. Oh.

Yeah, here's the boat.|Oh, no!

Well, that won't help us.|We're gonna have to swim to the ship.

Hello! Earth to Jimbo.

Swimming to a ship that's full of killer|pirates to save the captain is not a good plan.

- Look!|- Yes. The gunwale and keel are definitely safe.

- Mr Arrow! - Mr|Arrow! - It's me!Jim!

- Over here!|- Mr Arrow, over here!

Oh. Oh, boys.|Come join me...

aboard this exceptionally|safe little boat.

Hmm.

By the way, that Silver fellow|may not be trustworthy.

- Ha-ha! Now he tells us!|- Yeah.

And here's a photo opportunity|you will not want to miss.

The actual jungle location for the movie|Muppet Treasure Island.

- Oh, my goodness!|- Keep up, people.

Rate this script:3.0 / 2 votes