Murder of a Cat Page #4

I mean, he's weird.

Like, maybe the weirdest person I know.

Well, I'm... I'm weird.

I mean, I'm a friggin' weirdo.

You're minor-league weird.

I'm talking hall-of-fame weird.

Like, if Prince and Pee-Wee Herman had

a baby, it wouldn't play with Yi Kim.

Whatever. It's not a competition, Greta.

Listen, the point is that Liu Kang

and his man-child

are stealing from the store, all right?

They're using the unsold crossbow boxes

as a cover somehow.

They're boosters, dropping off

the stolen goods to a fence.

- A fence?

- A middleman.

He unloads the hot items.

You never read "The Hardy Boys"?

"Three Investigators"?

All I know is that carnival masker

and his silent giant

are the only two

to have access to the crossbows.

W... what?

What is it? What?

Nothing.

Nothing?

You're acting all tense and weird,

and you tore your coaster to shreds.

You knew about this.

Clinton, that's crazy.

What are you talking about?

Two Glenlivets, neat.

Oh, hey, we're having

a private discussion here.

- If we wanted to include you...

- Simmer down, darlin'.

It's courtesy of the gentleman over there.

Sh*t.

I remember.

I don't think we've officially met.

Yi Kim.

That's Dave Calvetti.

I didn't catch your name.

Clint...

- Excuse?

- It's Clinton.

Clint.

Clinton.

Ton.

Your shot's collecting dust.

I don't...... I don't really

Drink... it.

Whoo!

Oh!

Let's go for a little walk, hmm?

The varnish in this place, it...

smells like sadness.

Yi, where the hell are we going?

We're going on a little trip, Greta bear.

So, Clinton, you like Greta, huh?

Oh. You don't say much, do you?

You must be complicated.

We all know how Greta loves a challenge.

All right, what is this, huh?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Take it easy.

You'll see.

All right, this is getting old, Yi.

Come on, Clinton, let's go.

Hey!

All right, look, Kano,

or whatever your name is,

I don't know what you're trying to pull,

but I know what's going on.

Ah! Oh, Christ!

Hey!

Hey, we're all friends here.

We all trust each other, don't we?

Let go of her!

Whoo! Oh, I am feeling it!

You feeling it, Dave? Huh?

Whoo! Love it!

You feeling it, Clintonio?

I... uh...

Yeah, yeah, I guess.

Give me your hand.

Now, do we trust each other? Huh?

- Please! Stop!

- We're in this together now.

Please!

Please, Yi, don't do this!

You've been a nosy little kitty cat.

But I trust you now.

No. There's no one else.

I don't have to

justify anything to you, okay?

Just stay out of my life.

How... how did I get here?

Uh, we walked.

Well, I sort of carried you.

I don't remember any of that.

Oh, my God. Do I have a memory loss?

Was I hit by the train?

Yeah, if that's what you consider

Dave Calvetti.

You're fine. You're just

a little bruised, that's all.

- I gotta go. I gotta...

- No, wait. No, wait.

Stay here. Stay here.

My God.

Ew.

Ow. Ah...

Here. Try this.

It's my special recipe.

Oh, my God. What is this?

Just boiled whiskey?

Yeah, pretty much.

Hey. Who's this guy?

- Come on.

- Did you make him, too?

Yeah.

Kind of look like they go together.

Are they partners?

Yeah.

That's pretty good.

How long have you been doing this?

Oh, I don't know.

Since I was a kid, I guess.

So you had your own little workshop?

I used to run around in tighty-whities

and a trench coat

and interrogate strangers.

Pretty cute.

I was 15.

Okay.

I was imaginative.

Yeah. Sounds like you were a handful.

What'd your parents think?

Well, my dad hated it.

"Puss-bag"...

that's what he used to call me.

"Puss-bag"? What does that even mean?

I don't know.

"Puss," like "p*ssy," and, like, "bag,"

like a bag of it, like a...

like a bag of... of pussies.

Like a bag full of pussies, I guess.

I don't know. It doesn't make any sense.

He sounds like an a**hole.

You still live with him?

Oh, hell, no.

He moved on to greener pastures,

and he's got some new family in Texas

and owns some puss-bag store.

I don't know.

What?

What?

Get up.

I want to do something for you. Come on.

- What...

- Don't argue with me.

Whoa. No, no, no, no.

I don't know about this.

What do you think?

It's... I don't know.

Okay.

You look older.

Oh, great, thanks.

That was a compliment.

I was saying you look handsome.

You know, like a man.

Yeah, I don't know

if I want to look like a man.

I like it.

Are you sure you want this?

What do you mean?

I need someone to be with me.

With you, like... to find Mouser's killer?

Is that all you can think about?

I'm not sure what we're talking about.

Our cat is dead, Clinton,

but he brought us together.

To find his killer.

My life has enough problems.

You can't just run around in a trench coat

and tighty-whities forever.

Okay. I see how it is.

No, you don't.

That's what I'm trying to say...

I know what you're trying to say.

You're just like everybody else.

Hey.

I knew about the scam, okay?

Why do you think I left the store?

Don't you get it? Yi's dangerous.

It's not worth it.

Let it go, Clinton.

Thanks for the tip.

Who is that?

Clinton! You're up.

Good morning.

Clinton, honey,

you remember Frank, don't you?

No, actually. I don't know any Frank.

I know a Sheriff Hoyle, but no...

is he wearing my robe?

Honey, I didn't know if you were...

coming home last night, and...

- Don't worry, Clinton, I'll wash it.

- No, don't bother.

It's just one of the few creature comforts

to which I've ever

really been attached, but burn it,

because I am never wearing

that thing again as long as I live.

Hey, you got a haircut.

It looks very distinguished.

It does.

Would you stop talking about my hair?

Honey, why don't you just

sit down for a second, huh?

And eat something. Look what I made.

Chocolate pancake... oops.

Sorry. I'll eat that one.

You take that one. And bacon.

Yeah, only because there's

people starving in the world.

Where have you been, Clinton?

I've been worried about you.

Really? You were worried?

You had time to worry during your

sex-capades with this doughnut-husker?

- Hey, come on, now. Watch your mouth.

- You watch your mouth.

This is my house,

and I can act however I want.

Actually, you know, it's my house,

and is it too much to ask

for you to just be nice for once?

Nice?

Okay. I'll be nice.

I got a nice little tip for you.

She's got the gout.

Real bad.

That's why she always wears socks.

I have... chilly feet.

Clinton, look,

I know this is a little bit awkward,

but I'd like for us to try and be friends.

All right.

Let's be friends.

I found out who killed Mouser,

and I want to go there today.

Come on. What is this?

Yi Kim, he's the one who killed Mouser,

and I want to nail him, Hoyle, today, now.

You mean Rogin Kim's son,

of Kim's Tuxedos?

I don't want to assume,

but probably, right?

Speaking of which, you might want to case

that joint, see if the money's clean.

As for Yi, he is filthy.

He's running this huge scam involving

crossbows and computers out of Ford's.

He killed Mouser

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