Murder of a Cat Page #3

weapon to, death master?

Clinton, what are you...

Hi, everybody, what's, uh...

what's going on over here?

Steve? Huh?

Greta?

- You're...

- The commercial.

Al Ford. How are you?

What's the problem here, Steve?

He called me "death master."

"Death master"?

What is this "death master"?

Your crossbow killed my best friend.

Oh, my God.

He means his cat.

Oh. Right, right.

I think I read that in the "Beacon."

Very, very sorry to hear

about that, son, honestly.

That somebody might

use a product of mine from this store

in that sort of way just... it kills me.

If there's anything I can do,

anything at all, you let me know.

Um, okay. Thank you, yes.

I'd appreciate the names and information

of every single person

who bought this thing.

That I cannot do.

You sh*t-faced phony!

- God damn it, Clinton, come on.

- Excuse me?

We have privacy policies

here at this store, sir.

Listen, we just want to take a quick look

at the sales inventory to see

the people who bought this thing,

and then we'll get out of here.

Miss Chuplinski, as you well know,

what you're asking for

is strictly against store policy.

Now, I might have been able to bend

the rules a little bit here,

but just quitting without any notice?

Leaving us all stranded here?

Particularly in Home Patios

during barbecue season.

Failure to return your vest, Greta?

All of this demonstrates blatant

disregard for this establishment.

Now, that said,

my office is always open to you.

I'm out of here.

Wait. What, you're going?

Just show me the goddamn inventory, Ford.

Can't do that.

You really are a sham.

Can you leave my store, please?

All right, all right.

You want to play hardball?

You've got yourself a hardball game.

What is this all about?

What are you protesting?

Wh... what am I...

isn't it obvious? Ford's.

This store puts innocent lives at risk.

Oh, my God! He's... he's just a boy!

Exactly.

And a very noble one.

He's fasting in protest.

Or he will.

I'm bored. Let me down.

You want your 30 bucks or not?

Just keep drumming.

"Boo!" yeah, again! Boo!

Let me call you back.

Hi, Frank.

- Al.

- Sorry about this.

Yeah. Is that the Johnson boy up there?

Yeah. Can they get him down or...

yeah, they're... They'll get on it.

What about Clinton? Do you need any...

No, no, no.

You hear that? They're booing you, Ford.

You're finished.

They're booing you, you idiot.

Now, look, I told the sheriff not to

intervene here, but you need to stop this.

Hi, everybody.

You are completely out of line here, son.

What's out of line is your store, your

products, and everything you stand for.

Kid, I'm a business owner. Okay?

Amongst other things,

I sell, uh, sporting goods here,

some of which is used

for what we call shooting sports.

Now, I'm no maverick.

Similar stores to mine

all across the country.

I'm sorry about your cat.

I am. I like cats.

But frankly, it's not my problem.

You choke on a McNugget,

do blame McDonald's?

Yeah.

I bet you do, you little pinhead.

Listen, this whole charade is pointless.

All right. We'll see about that.

No, we won't see, God damn it.

The Sure Shot 5000 is a bust.

Okay, you want the inventory information?

I'll give it to you.

Zero models have been sold.

Zero. Do you get me?

- It didn't come from my store.

- That's impossible.

It's a fact.

Now, quit making a fool out of yourself

before I change my mind

about pressing charges.

Greta, we need to talk.

Wow. Hi, Clinton.

Yeah, come on in.

Just make yourself at home.

It's about the crossbows.

We've hit a wall.

I'm sorry, Irv.

Can you excuse us for a second?

Yeah.

Remember, she's my girl.

All right, okay.

Were you cutting Mouser's hair?

Yeah.

I needed the practice,

and his hair was a mess.

What?

It was... it was untamed and beautiful.

I thought it was my best work.

Why are you all sweaty?

I broke Ford.

He claims no crossbows were sold,

but it doesn't add up.

Really? None?

I don't know what to say.

I mean, maybe they came

from "zang-zing" or whatever.

Or maybe Ford is lying.

The crossbow had to come from his store.

But this is a publicity nightmare for him.

Mr. Family Values

is trying to protect his image.

Something is definitely off,

and I'm gonna find out what.

Are you with me?

I don't know, Clinton.

What the hell is going on with you?

You ditch me at Ford's, and now you're

just giving up? I need your help.

I'm not giving up.

It's just the police and Ford's?

I mean, it's too much.

It's not worth it.

"Too much"? Are you not hearing me?

Ford is full of sh*t.

Their crossbow killed Mouser,

Horatio, our cat.

These are the same scumbags

who drove my business out of town.

They think they can just

push around the little guy.

Well, this time the little guy

is gonna push back.

Are you with me?

Are we done? I have a customer coming.

Okay. Yeah.

We're done.

Reilly.

Doghouse Reilly.

Ma? Can I get a ride to Ford's?

Hey.

What the hell do you think you're doin'?

Who are you?

Uh, I'm the new guy.

Greta.

Okay.

I know it, brother.

Another day, another dollar.

We got to keep our nose to the grindstone,

so to speak.

Ugh! Something was wrong with mine.

So where are we keeping

those Sure Shot 5000s

everyone's talking about?

"Everyone's talking about"?

I don't know.

Check sports, row G-12.

Thanks for the smoke, brother.

Damn it.

Yi, get over here!

What have I told you about smoking

in the warehouse? Huh?

Put it out. Now.

What are you doing?

No smoking.

Oh. What's that over there?

Oh, and is there something you

want to give me

from your pocket?

Hello.

Get back to work.

Mute.

We need to get these boxes to our man

by 4:
00 sharp, so no ice-cream breaks.

And, Dave,

if you get a flat tire this time,

do not call the police.

Ah-ah-ah-ah.

Chin up, tenderfoot.

I still have faith in you.

Bingo.

What are you doin', man?

What are you doin'?

Greta.

Excuse me.

'Cause, you know, I prefer the sativa.

That hemp star you gave me

was just too soporific.

Ideally, I'd love the high to be strong

during office hours

but peak during lecture.

Try this, Howie. I think you'll like it.

Bravo.

Greta, we need to talk.

Oh, Clinton. Holy sh*t.

Okay. Hold on.

This is for you, and we're good here?

I've never seen you. Thank you.

Listen, I was chased

all the way here by a giant machine.

He was a running machine.

I am lucky to be alive.

He was so fast, so big...

Okay, okay. Calm down.

Just take a second.

Clinton, what the hell happened to you?

I broke into Ford's warehouse.

- You what?

- Yes. Shh. Okay?

It was very dangerous,

but this is what I do, Greta.

I'm like a clever mongoose, okay?

Now, listen, it's deeper

than we thought, okay?

The Sure Shots, Ford's...

it's all connected.

That's obvious, but, I mean,

there's something bigger going on,

like a theft ring or something.

That guy, Kim Chi?

Kim Ch... Yi Kim?

Right. There's something off about him.

Yeah, to say the least.

Oh, what's that mean?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes