My Beautiful Broken Brain Page #5

which sounds very scary,

but that is exactly

what I have just signed up for.

And when I've done this fabled therapy,

I'll be able to read.

Maybe.

[speaking indistinctly]

Like that?

Yes, please, that's great.

[Dr. Alex] It's basically a battery.

When it first switches on,

you can feel a bit of tingling,

so you get two pads over the head,

and the current goes between the two pads.

A lot of the current actually

doesn't go through the brain.

A lot of it just goes through the skin.

But a small amount goes through the brain

and we think that's the therapeutic bit.

So, for some, it works, and for some,

it doesn't work so well,

but on a group level, it works.

So we know that works,

we're trying to enhance that.

Okay.

Yeah, I'm definitely willing to do that.

-Okay, great.

-Yeah.

[Lotje] I'm super excited to see

what the results will be,

but I'm also fully aware of the fact

that this is an experiment

that, uh, may or may not work.

I'd love to wake up with a massively

improved cognitive ability, of course,

especially around my reading.

Um...

But...

Um, you know, if it doesn't work,

then I've given my body to science.

[therapist] Get this all set up and ready.

-How's it feel?

-All right.

-Tingling away?

-Tingling away.

All right, well,

let's start the training.

-You ready?

-Yeah.

Okay, off you go.

-[recorded female voice] Rain.

-Rain.

-Yes.

-Yes.

-Space.

-Space.

-Assist.

-Assist.

I have to spend a month

doing very intensive therapy.

-[recorded female voice] Purple.

-Purple.

-Past.

-Past.

The effect is to rewire my brain,

so that it's able to find

new routes to where

it used to go automatically.

-Panic.

-Panic.

-Down.

-Down.

-Past.

-Past.

Yes.

[computer dings]

I have to be exposed to words

through sound and vision simultaneously,

so that, as I hear the words

and I see them,

I start to reconnect the sound of

those words with the sight of those words.

-Roar.

-Roar.

-Rescue.

-Rescue.

-Boy.

-Boy.

-Wish.

-Wish.

-Pie.

-[computer dings]

[Lotje] Kind of a crazy sensation.

It feels like stinging nettles.

Hard work,

and they've given me this really

dodgy laptop to take home,

to carry on when I get home,

for an hour every day.

-Birds.

-Birds.

-Tough.

-Tough.

-Soon.

-Soon.

-Quick.

-When...

-Tad.

-Tad.

-Skill.

-Skill.

-Hope.

-Hope.

-Dance.

-Dance.

[Lotje] I'm starting to actually

read the word along its length.

-[word repetitions continue]

-Read each letter in the word

and understand the series,

the sequence of letters in a joint whole.

-Loan.

-Loan.

-Owl.

-Owl.

-Need.

-Need.

[Lotje] The cognition is

certainly improving.

-Abuse.

-Abuse.

But what do I know?

[sighing]

I'm just an innocent guinea pig.

So, um, did you have any ill effects

after the, uh, stimulation yesterday?

No headaches,

nothing else like that in the evening?

-No.

-Good.

[Lotje] Words, words, words.

So many words.

[voice echoes] Words, words, words.

Just three days left.

[both chuckle]

Whoo-hoo!

-Stroke.

-Stroke.

-See.

-See.

-Dog.

-Dog.

-Wood.

-[computer dings]

-Lid.

-[computer dings]

Open.

Open.

-Legal.

-[gasps]

I thought I just saw a flash.

May have been...

Are you okay?

How are you feeling?

-Legal.

-No.

[computer dinging]

Happen.

[Lotje inhaling sharply]

-Given.

-[therapist] First mistake.

Given.

-Girl.

-Girl. [gasps]

Oh! [clicks tongue]

[recorded female voice] Mum.

That's deeply unpleasant.

It didn't do that before.

This is new.

-Strike.

-Strike.

-Winner.

-Winner.

Run through that block

and I'll get Jenny down.

-Love.

-Love.

-Log.

-Log.

-Sock.

-Sock.

-Story.

-Story.

Next one?

Uh, just hold it there.

-You sure?

-Yeah.

[Jan] It was probably about 4:00 p.m.

Lotje had called and there was a problem,

and I needed to go over there

very quickly.

She was squatting outside,

her speech was very impaired,

and she didn't really know

what was going on.

There was a lot of confusion.

The ambulance came,

I explained to them Lotje's history.

They asked me questions,

they tried to ask Lotje questions,

some of which she could answer,

some of which she half-answered,

most of which she didn't answer at all.

Lotje was half off the stretcher,

her eyes turned up, you could only see the

whites of her eyes, her face was purple.

And she was...

You know,

I didn't know what was going on.

She started convulsing. You know,

these were very violent body movements.

One of the nurses was trying to,

sort of, keep her on the stretcher.

The movements got so powerful

that he asked me to help him

to keep Lotje where she was.

Overall,

it lasted over a four-hour period.

At that stage, obviously,

you start, um...

I guess you start blaming

or you start looking for reasons.

[leaves rustling]

[Lotje]

My whole body is, um, is in shock.

The whole of my back,

my arms, my legs, my-my...

My, um... [stammers]

This.

What do you call that?

-[Sophie] Hips?

-Yes.

-Truth.

-[computer dinging]

[Sophie] Talk me through

what you can remember.

[Lotje] On Monday, I went back

to Queen Square for the penultimate time.

After my zapping, I went home

and started my one hour

of words repetition.

-Bird.

-Bird.

I started seeing these flashes of color

appearing in front of me.

Lots of color, repetitive flashes,

growing bigger and bigger, like...

[loud throbbing noise]

A hallucinogenic,

uncontrollable growth of color.

I started panicking. Um...

When I thought,

"Okay, I have to, uh...

I don't know what's happening,

but it feels a little bit like a stroke."

It's frightening losing yourself...

being lost in your body.

I wasn't, obviously,

expecting an epileptic fit. [chuckling]

"Epileptic seizures result from

abnormal, excessive,

or hypersynchronous

neuronal activity in the brain.

About 50 million people worldwide

have epilepsy,

and nearly 90% of epilepsy occurs

in the developing countries."

[Lotje] Okay.

-[Hente] Just... just...

-I don't have epilepsy.

Do I?

My vision is distorted...

but this time, it isn't interesting

like it was in Nov-- November.

It's scary.

Okay, now I'm seeing things

on my right hand side.

-Things that shouldn't be there.

-[indistinct voices]

I see this...

phantom... object.

Colors are getting brighter

and the patterns keep repeating.

Orange. No. Yeah. No, purple.

And green.

And they keep growing.

[Hente] "Diplopia, double vision,

amnesia, balance disorder,

disturbance in attention,

loss of concentration,

memory impairment."

-[siren wailing]

-[Lotje] The land looks unfamiliar.

I feel like a stranger here.

Tomorrow, I'll talk to Elsmore

and see what he thinks.

I hope it's not gonna be like this

for the rest of my life.

-I'm terrified of having...

-[baby wailing]

...another epi.

[Hente] "Agitation, depression,

emotional instability,

mood swings,

hostility or aggression, insomnia,

nervousness, irritability,

personal disorders, behavioral problems."

Great medication!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes