My Big Fat Greek Wedding Page #4

-He likes you.

-Yes?

I told you to watch the boys.

They'll be fine with the video games.

-You turn their brains to mush.

-I can't do anything right.

Ian, if you're going to be in this family,

I'll get you some earplugs...

because the Portokalos women,

if they're not nagging somebody, they die!

-You're in trouble when I tell my sister.

-Tell me what?

Where is he?

Khristos Anesti.

Alithos Anesti, Thia.

Toula, you're engaged!

We never think it would happen for you.

Never.

-Taki, didn't we say that?

-We never think this day will come.

-And it came!

-Is this him?

Yes, sorry. Everyone, this is Ian.

Ian!

Hello, Ian.

I want to see the rock.

-Hey, Ian.

-Hey.

-You like that dance?

-Yeah.

Okay, Jennie has something

she wants to ask you.

-No, she doesn't.

-Go on.

Jennie, just ask me.

Does he have any brothers?

No, he's an only child.

I've got to tell you,

I've never seen my sister so happy.

If you hurt her, I'll kill you

and make it look like an accident.

Jesus, look at your face. It's just a joke.

Good one.

No, the good one is, "I've got a gun."

Yeah, I've got a gun...

and I swear, I'll jam it up your....

Ian, I got you again!

-Here, eat some rice.

-I don't want any rice, I'm good.

No, "I'm good."

I could snap you like a chicken!

Come on, lighten up.

I'll lighten you when I take out your kidneys.

One more time, Ian.

-Hey, Angelo.

-Hey, Ian, we're going to kill you!

Ian, Aunt Voula.

Let me touch your hair.

-Okay, Thia Voula?

-No.

-Thia Voula?

-Yes?

When you come to my house

and I cook for you?

-Okay.

-Thia, that might be a problem.

Problem? I'm the best cook

in the family. Tell him.

-I did, didn't l?

-Twice.

Okay, then.

It's just....

Yeah?

Ian is a vegetarian.

He doesn't eat meat.

He don't eat no meat?

No, he doesn't eat meat.

What do you mean, "He don't eat no meat"?

That's okay, I'll make lamb.

Come.

Come and dance.

Silence.

It's delicious.

We took a look at my calendar,

our calendar...

to set a day for the big day...

sometime at the end of October,

mid-November?

-Sometime in there, yeah.

-Wonderful.

I'll call the Club and see what's open.

The Club?

The North Shore Country Club,

for the wedding, of course.

We're going to get married

in Toula's church...

because we're not very religious,

and her family is.

Really is. Show them the brochure.

Oh, that. Yeah.

My cousin Nikki made me this.

She tends to save things.

This is from her prom.

She makes lamps and....

Tell them about, we got this great big hall....

-What's it called, for the reception?

-Aphrodite's Palace.

It's not really a palace.

This is a brochure.

That Parthenon backdrop is optional.

Yes, smarty, if we invite Makopouloses...

we have to invite Adamopouloses!

They're cousins!

Dad, the thing is

that we just want to keep it small.

It's like you'd rather go bankrupt

than insult anyone from the church.

Toula...

I come to this country

with $8 in my pocket...

to make all this for you.

And...

who knows how long I'm going to be alive?

Let me see the list.

Okay, come on. Time out!

No more punching Thio Niko's nads, okay?

Foti, stop hitting Thio Niko.

Look at you, how big you are!

Boys, come on, soccer practice. Let's go.

-Did she spit on him?

-Now go on, go outside with your father.

Yeah, for good luck. Keeps the devil away.

Bye. Wait for me.

Dad.

Where did you get that?

I drew it, Dad, for the new menu.

Remember?

Ma, I'm hungry.

Okay, Niko.

Ian, are you hungry?

-No, I already ate.

-Okay, I'll make you something.

Okay.

Now, Toula,

we have to have Tommy Kasimatis.

Hey, let me help you with those.

-What is wrong with Tommy Kasimatis?

-I don't know them.

-Who cares? They're related to me.

-Why are you being so weird?

-I'm not being weird.

-You're weird when you're pregnant.

Ian, eat.

How do you say "thank you" in Greek?

That's it. You got it.

-Hey, Toula!

-Yeah?

Listen, I got the greatest connection

for your invitations.

No, we're gonna order

our own invitations, okay?

I don't want something

your cash-only connection gets...

that falls off of a truck.

-Yeah, but they come through, right?

-For God's sake, let the man talk.

-Why are you always so stubborn?

-I'm not stubborn--

Girls, I ordered the invitations

two weeks ago.

-I never saw a wedding invitation.

-I'll go get them.

Wait till you see them.

My parents' names are Rodney and Harriet.

"Rodney and Harry"?

I didn't notice, so I bet they won't.

Yia sas, everybody.

Wait. I have got the biggest scoop.

Look at the earrings I have found

that match the bridesmaids' dresses.

I remembered.

We have a customer at the dry cleaner's...

who is a custom jewelry designer.

So, I showed her the fabric.

Wait, what do these match?

Not that fabric you showed me last week.

-You said you liked it.

-I said I'd think about it.

That's just because...

you couldn't visualize it.

-You're so beautiful!

-Don't worry, you don't have to do a thing.

That's classy.

I went by the college and picked this up.

Look.

I'm gonna start slowly, you know.

Do a couple of night courses.

I just wanted to learn more about painting

and art and stuff, so....

This is so great.

Yeah, you started it.

You wanted to do something else...

and you did it.

Hey, Toula...

don't let your past dictate who you are...

but let it be part of who you will become.

Nick, that is so beautiful.

Yeah.

That Dear Abby,

she really knows what she's talking about.

-Hello?

-Hi, Mom, it's me.

All right, Ian is going to pick me up...

and then we'll get his parents,

and then we're gonna be there in one hour.

-Good.

-Okay.

-Is everything okay? What are you doing?

-I peel the potatoes.

Why are you peeling potatoes?

I peeled some this morning.

I know, but we need more.

How much are you cooking?

It's a lot of people.

-There's three of them.

-And us.

-Then that makes seven.

-And the family.

The family? You invited the whole family?

Of course.

Ma, I said, "Come for a quiet dinner,

and meet my parents."

They might as well meet

the whole family, right?

-Maria.

-I got to go, Taki's here. Bye.

I'm coming.

Look at this. Bravo!

Okay, hurry, put it on the spit.

They are here!

Excuse me.

Welcome to my home.

Over here is my brother, Ted...

and his wife, Melissa, and their children,

Anita, Diane, and Nick.

Over here, my brother, Tommy,

his wife, Angie...

and their children, Anita, Diane, and Nick.

And here, my brother, George,

that's his wife, Frieda...

and their children, Anita, Diane, and Nick.

Taki, Sophie, Carrie, Nick, Nick, Nick...

Nikki...

and I am Gus.

They are here? Where? Excuse me.

Hello.

I am Maria Portokalos...

and welcome to our home.

Thank you. What is it?

It's a bundt.

-A "bundt"?

-Bundt.

It's a cake! I know!

Thank you. Thank you very much.

There's a hole in this cake.

These are some of my cousins.

Hey, Ian, good to see you, man.

Listen, I really think you should say,

"Eho tria arhidia."

It means, "Everyone, come in the house."

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