My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 Page #6

WAITER:

Would you like something to drink?

TOULA AND IAN:

Yes!!

(CONTINUED)

37

CONTINUED:
(2)

Ian points to a wine on the list.

The Waiter goes. They look around. Turn back, smile shyly.

IAN:

Do you think Paris will go to a

college out of state?

Toula remembers what Aunt Voula said.

TOULA:

Thea Voula suggested we don’t talk

about Paris. How was your day?

IAN:

Um, good. What’d you do?

TOULA:

Worked, found out my parents aren’t

married. You?

IAN:

Your parents are swingers.

The Waiter pours their wine. They drink. Smile awkwardly.

IAN (CONT’D)

So wait, why can’t we talk about

Paris?

TOULA:

Right? I have to!

IAN:

Okay, how do we keep her from

moving away for college?

TOULA:

We could act like it’s okay with

us.

IAN:

Reverse psychology. Good. How

about a letter? Dear Admissions

Board:
I sure hope you accept my

daughter and her twelve piece drum

kit.

TOULA:

Add in, “do you have a Student

Lounge where she can sell pot?”

Toula laughs, Ian laughs. They lock eyes.

(CONTINUED)

38

CONTINUED:
(3)

Toula gets emotional.

TOULA (CONT’D)

I don’t know what I’ll do if she

goes...

Ian takes her hand.

IAN:

C’mon, hon. It’s our one night out

in forever.

Toula fights to not cry. Ian picks up a menu.

IAN (CONT’D)

It’ll be okay.

Toula sadly nods.

DISSOLVE TO:

I/E. MILLER CAR/PORTOKALOS STREET - LATER THAT NIGHT

The radio PLAYS. Ian drives as Toula looks out the window.

It’s tense; their date didn’t go well. Ian sighs.

IAN:

This is why Aunt Voula said don’t

talk about Paris.

TOULA:

But once you’re a parent, what else

do you want to talk about?

IAN:

I don’t know.

TOULA:

Thea Voula said to remember I was a

girlfriend before I was a mother.

Ian slowly smiles a bit at that.

IAN:

Yeah, you were my girlfriend.

Now Toula slowly smiles a bit.

Ian turns the corner.

They’re on their street. Ian points to the Portokalos family

home in the distance.

(CONTINUED)

39

CONTINUED:

IAN (CONT’D)

Remember when we were dating, how

you wouldn’t let me drop you off in

front in case your parents saw me?

TOULA:

No, I didn’t want you to see the

house.

IAN:

How could I miss it?

Ian pulls over and parks.

IAN (CONT’D)

We used to park right here.

It’s dark. And quiet. Ian looks out the windshield.

IAN (CONT’D)

I remember those good night kisses.

Toula looks at him.

TOULA:

You do, huh?

Ian leans in.

IAN:

Yes.

They kiss. It’s nice. It keeps going. And going.

Really going.

The MUSIC swells.

And then -- a LIGHT shines into the car.

GUS (O.C.)

What are you doing?

Toula and Ian cover themselves, shield their eyes.

Gus shines a flashlight into the car.

TOULA:

Nothing, nothing, we’re going.

IAN:

Everything’s okay.

(CONTINUED)

40

CONTINUED:
(2)

Ian struggles to dress himself, Gus realizes what’s

happening.

GUS:

You don’t have a house to do that?!

Just then, Paris, Aunt Voula and Maria, walking the old Lab,

Socrates, round the corner. They see Gus.

AUNT VOULA:

Gus, what’s wrong?

Aunt Voula and Maria run up, realize it’s Toula and Ian, try

to push Gus’s flashlight away.

AUNT VOULA (CONT’D)

Gus!

Paris realizes it’s her parents.

PARIS:

(nuh-uh)

Perfect.

AUNT VOULA:

Parents deserve a sex life.

PARIS:

Said no one, ever.

IAN:

We’re just talking. By the way

Paris, we think you should go to

college out of state.

Toula nods her head as hard as she can.

MARIA:

What is that, reverse psychology?

AUNT VOULA:

That never works.

MARIA:

That never works.

PARIS:

That never works.

The nosy/cranky neighbor Mrs. White, walking her dog, sees

the commotion.

(CONTINUED)

41

CONTINUED:
(3)

MRS. WHITE

What’s going on, I’m calling the

cops.

MARIA:

No, it’s okay, Mrs. White,

everything is okay.

Socrates starts barking at Mrs. White.

MRS. WHITE

Stop that, quiet!

MARIA:

He doesn’t speak English.

(in soothing Greek to the

dog, subtitled)

Bite her tomorrow.

The Portokalos dog immediately sits.

Mrs. White suspiciously looks at them all as she leaves.

MRS. WHITE

I have pepper spray.

Gus turns back to Ian.

GUS:

Ian Miller, in the street?! It’s

not decent!!

Maria turns on Gus, furious.

MARIA:

What’s the problem? At least

they’re married.

GUS:

Maria....

MARIA:

Don’t Maria me. We’re not married.

Paris’s jaw drops.

MARIA (CONT’D)

You want decency? Tonight, you

sleep in another room.

Maria takes the dog toward the house.

(CONTINUED)

42

CONTINUED:
(4)

GUS:

Fine!

MARIA:

No fine!

Neighborhood lights go on. Gus follows Maria in.

Aunt Voula leads Paris to the Miller house.

PARIS:

Uh, can I just ask....

AUNT VOULA:

Yes dear, your grandparents are

living in sin. Your Pappou won’t

propose-

PARIS:

I don’t get why Yiayia needs that-

AUNT VOULA:

Because you’re not a woman who has

lived with Pappou for 50 years.

SFX:
A door slams inside the Portokalos house.

Inside the car, Ian and Toula look at each other.

TOULA:

I have to fix this.

Smiling, Ian moves in.

IAN:

Right, right. Anyway, where were

we?

Toula pushes him away, laughs.

TOULA:

We can’t....

They go back to making out.

From the dark Miller yard, Mana-Yiayia runs by, wearing the

red nightgown.

DISSOLVE TO:

43

INT. REHAB CENTER - DAY

Gus sulks. A PHYSICAL THERAPIST attaches weights to Gus’s

ankles.

PHYSICAL THERAPIST

You’re late today.

GUS:

(mumbles)

My wife wouldn’t drive me.

PHYSICAL THERAPIST

Pardon?

GUS:

Nothing.

PHYSICAL THERAPIST

Lift these, I’ll be back.

Gus lifts them to impress her. As soon as she’s out of

sight, Gus and the OTHER MEN stop working.

A swarthy man, KAVEH, 70’s, sits on the table beside Gus.

GUS:

You Greek?

KAVEH:

Iranian.

GUS:

So, Persian?

Kaveh nods.

GUS (CONT’D)

In 334 BC, Alexander the Great

conquered the Persian Army and

occupied the east. You are so

Greek, we’re probably related.

Insulted, Kaveh puffs up.

KAVEH:

We had civilizations in Persia 3000

years before you Greeks discovered

rocks.

Gus is stunned.

(CONTINUED)

44

CONTINUED:

GUS:

The Greeks gave the world

philosophy, democracy-

KAVEH:

In 2500 BC, we already had

instruments that measured weight

and money!

A Chinese man, PIM, 70’s, chimes in.

PIM:

The Chinese gave the world paper

and tea and medicine!

Another man, BAIRD, 70’S, chimes in with a Scottish accent.

BAIRD:

Without Scotland’s Alexander

Fleming, the world wouldn’t have

penicillin!

GUS:

Soon I’m going to have proof that I

am a direct descendant of Alexander

the Great!

The others now laugh HARD at Gus.

The Physical Therapist comes back, they lift their leg

weights.

Gus sulks.

CUT TO:

INT. DANCING ZORBA’S - DAY

From the counter, Toula watches as Gus still sulks in his

corner booth. Uncle Taki listens.

GUS:

I sleep with the dog. She won’t

give me my pills in the morning,

she won’t clean --

UNCLE TAKI:

Anarchy.

Gus looks over at a table near the counter: Maria whispers

with Aunt Voula.

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