My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 Page #5

Aunt Voula turns to Uncle Taki.

AUNT VOULA:

Lucky we got married in Athens.

They cross themselves.

Uncle Taki picks up the paper -- no signature.

UNCLE TAKI:

Our Priest just can’t sign it?

GUS:

Not allowed.

UNCLE TAKI:

What did Maria say?

GUS:

I don’t know how to tell her, you

know how upset she’ll be.

SMASH CUT TO:

INT. PORTOKALOS KITCHEN - DAY

Maria laughs.

MARIA:

We’re not married?!

Maria holds the marriage certificate.

WIDEN:
Uncle Taki and Aunt Voula see that Toula, Ian, Nick,

Ilaria, Athena and Yianni are stunned.

GUS:

No.

Maria laughs harder.

(CONTINUED)

30

CONTINUED:

MARIA:

We were never married? And we had

children?

GUS:

Yes.

Maria loves it.

MARIA:

I’m a hippie!

Gus and Uncle Taki frown.

GUS:

Maria, this is serious, it’s not

right.

MARIA:

Who cares! We’re married now by

what’s that called? Time served -

Maria is still laughing.

GUS:

People will find out. We have to

get married.

TOULA:

(teasing)

Yeah Dad, you better get married,

you’re starting to look old.

The room is quiet. Ian discreetly shakes his head.

TOULA (CONT’D)

Too soon?

Toula leans back.

GUS:

The Priest says he can do it, we

can go today.

Maria stops laughing.

MARIA:

Today?

IAN:

Sounds good. Let’s go.

(CONTINUED)

31

CONTINUED:
(2)

MARIA:

I’m not ready to get married -

Ian pivots back.

GUS:

We’re married already!

MARIA:

Then why do we need to see the

Priest?!

Gus looks confused.

GUS:

What’s going on?

Maria gets up, paces. Then... blurts:

MARIA:

I want you to propose.

GUS:

What?! I did.

MARIA:

No, not really. You didn’t say it

right and it’s been bothering me

for 50 years.

The family exchanges looks.

GUS:

What did I say?

MARIA:

You don’t remember?

GUS:

It was a long time ago!

MARIA:

You said, “I’m going to America,

you coming or not?”

All the women wince. The men nod, sounds good.

UNCLE TAKI/YIANNI/NICK

It’s direct./What’s wrong with it?/

Better than me.

Ilaria swats Nick.

(CONTINUED)

32

CONTINUED:
(3)

ILARIA:

Yeah, you said, “I want to put a

baby in you.”

NICK:

I thought it was romantic.

ILARIA:

And that was the last time you

tried to be romantic. Nobody warns

you when you get married, the

romance is gone, just like that!

That lands on Toula and Ian. They can’t look at each other.

Aunt Voula sees this reaction between them, takes it in.

NICK:

Can we focus on my parents here?

TOULA:

Ma, what’s wrong?

Maria is upset, trying to decipher her feelings.

MARIA:

I don’t know. I just don’t want to

get married today.

Disconsolate, Maria goes upstairs.

ATHENA:

Toula, do something.

Toula starts to follow Maria. Aunt Voula stops Toula.

AUNT VOULA:

I’ll talk to her. Everybody out.

Everyone avoids eye contact with Gus and quickly disperses.

CUT TO:

INT. MILLER MASTER BEDROOM - EVENING

Toula hurriedly sorts laundry, knocks over a picture. It’s

Paris, at four years old. Toula sits on the bed, sighs.

Holding a Marshalls bag, Aunt Voula walks in, lays a WHITE

LACE DOILY over the back area of an arm chair.

TOULA:

Um, hi Thea.

(CONTINUED)

33

CONTINUED:

AUNT VOULA:

Just a present from me. I already

did your living room.

TOULA:

Ah. Thank you.

Now Aunt Voula pulls a small box from the bag, hands it to

Toula.

TOULA (CONT’D)

I have tweezers, oh with a light!

How’s my mom?

AUNT VOULA:

She’s not talking to your dad until

he proposes. Your dad said she’s

always been bossy and he won’t do

it.

TOULA:

Okay, I’ll talk to them after I

make dinner.

Toula gets up. Aunt Voula pulls her back down.

AUNT VOULA:

You and your husband look terrible.

TOULA:

Okay.

AUNT VOULA:

Stop trying to fix everything. You

baby your parents because you can’t

parent your baby anymore. Your

generation, you’re super mommy.

Then one day you wake up, realize

she doesn’t need you, and you

forgot how to brush your own hair.

TOULA:

I don’t have time to -

AUNT VOULA:

Text your husband, you’re going on

a date.

TOULA:

Where?

(CONTINUED)

34

CONTINUED:
(2)

AUNT VOULA:

I don’t know, do I have to do

everything?

Aunt Voula pulls a sexy red nightgown from the bag.

AUNT VOULA (CONT’D)

And for afterward, this will help

you sleep better.

Toula looks at the nightgown, groans.

AUNT VOULA (CONT’D)

Satin is slippery, like an eel in -

TOULA:

Thea, please! That’s the last

thing I can think about. I need a

shower and wrinkle cream --

Aunt Voula cups Toula’s face, looks her over.

AUNT VOULA:

Wrinkles? No, no, wrinkles. Greek

don’t creak.

Aunt Voula points to the nightgown.

AUNT VOULA (CONT’D)

Anyway, you know what Taki likes in

bed?

Toula covers her ears, makes noises to drown out Aunt Voula.

AUNT VOULA (CONT’D)

Confidence! That’s sexy. Okay,

I’m done.

Toula uncovers her ears.

AUNT VOULA (CONT’D)

And, dress up like a hotel maid,

men love morning room service,

sunny side up!

Toula claps her hands.

TOULA:

Good talk!

AUNT VOULA:

Go on your date, don’t worry about

anything.

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

35

CONTINUED:
(3)

AUNT VOULA (CONT'D)

Mana-Yiayia and I will stay with

Paris. I’ll talk to her, scare her

out of moving away from her family.

(laughs)

I’m kidding. But not really.

Anyway, have fun. Laugh, flirt.

One rule:
don’t fight, which means

don’t talk about your daughter.

Remember, you were a girlfriend

before you were a mother.

Toula smiles, doesn’t know what to say.

AUNT VOULA (CONT’D)

You’re welcome.

Aunt Voula waves her hand from Toula’s eyebrows to toes.

AUNT VOULA (CONT’D)

Shave everything.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. UPSCALE RESTAURANT - NIGHT

Ian sits in a booth, DRESSED AND GROOMED LIKE HE’S HAD A

MAKEOVER, looking great, and a bit nervous. Toula, also

dressed up, hair blown out, makeup on, walks up. They see

each other.

A moment. It’s nice. Ian stands to pull her chair out.

IAN:

Quick. Sit down before my wife

gets here.

Toula laughs. They admiringly look at each other.

IAN (CONT’D)

You’re... clean.

TOULA:

Thank you.

IAN:

Your hair....

TOULA:

I washed it.

IAN:

You look pretty.

(CONTINUED)

36

CONTINUED:

TOULA:

Four hours, five hundred dollars.

IAN:

How much?!

TOULA:

You look so handsome!

IAN:

Yeah? Thanks. Aunt Voula called

me and said, “you used to be

handsome, get it together.” I got

my nose hairs trimmed.

Toula wryly smiles at that.

TOULA:

Ah, who says there’s no romance

after marriage?

Ian leans in.

IAN:

Me.

TOULA:

Me, too.

Ian takes her hand.

IAN:

Let’s work on it.

Toula smiles softly.

TOULA:

Okay.

They open their menus.

IAN:

Don’t have garlic. You might get

lucky tonight.

Toula blushes and laughs. A WAITER comes by.

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