My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 Page #4

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. DANCING ZORBA’S - DAY

Late February Thaw.

COSTA (PRELAP)

Give me a word, any word and I will

show you how the root of that word

is Greek!

CUT TO:

INT. DANCING ZORBA’S - DAY

ARISTOTLE:

Okay, Chimichanga!

In a booth, Costa and Aristotle drink tea and play

backgammon.

(CONTINUED)

22

CONTINUED:

COSTA:

Sure. Chimi is from the Greek word

keema which means spicy beef and

changa is from the Greek word

tsanta which means purse. So, meat

that is shaped like a purse:

chimichanga. There you go!

ARISTOTLE:

There you go.

From the next booth, Gus doesn’t look up from his newspaper.

GUS:

There you go.

At the counter, Toula watches Paris buttering garlic bread.

Nick and Angelo come in, mid-conversation.

NICK:

Anyway, just meet her, she’s from

Holland.

ANGELO:

Nah, I don’t speak Hollandaise.

Quit setting me up.

They see Athena and Nikki through the short order window,

motion “hunger” at their mouths as they sit at the counter.

Nikki and Athena place a plate of sandwiches at the window.

Toula passes sandwiches to the men, puts one on a plate,

gives it to Paris.

TOULA:

Hey...

Paris doesn’t look up. Toula indicates herself.

TOULA (CONT’D)

Um, just because you don’t want

this to be your job when you’re my

age, doesn’t mean you have to run

off to college in another city. I

hope you applied to some local

colleges too.

Paris looks Toula straight on.

(CONTINUED)

23

CONTINUED:
(2)

PARIS:

Why do parents always say, “dream

big”, when they really mean, “but

not too big.” Like, “fly little

birdie, oh wait, let me hold your

wings.”

Toula cannot deny this is true.

Gus walks by, coughs into his hand.

GUS:

Payback.

TOULA:

What?

Gus covers, jerks a thumb toward the back.

GUS:

Office.

Gus passes Mana-Yiayia running a floor-waxer bigger than her.

CUT TO:

INT. DANCING ZORBA’S OFFICE - DAY, LATER

Toula comes in. As if he’s hiding something, Gus quickly

closes a cupboard, limps to his seat.

TOULA:

Dad, let me take you back to

physical therapy.

GUS:

I can fix it myself.

Gus waves her off, points to a chair, Toula sits.

TOULA:

Please don’t lecture me about my

daughter.

GUS:

I’m going to find her a boyfriend,

she’ll stay in Chicago. Relax,

you’re getting wrinkles like the

dried figs in my village.

Toula tries to relax her face. Gus motions to the computer.

(CONTINUED)

24

CONTINUED:

GUS (CONT’D)

Show me how to work that.

TOULA:

You want to learn how to use a

computer?!

GUS:

Yeah. What’s that called where

people search for... DNA?

TOULA:

Uh... a crime scene?

GUS:

No, where they came from.

TOULA:

Oh. The Find Your Ancestry site?

Gus nods. Toula types it in. Gus looks at the site.

GUS:

Ha! I’m going to prove to your

mother that I’m related to

Alexander the Great. Don’t tell

her.

He holds a finger to his lips, shhh, it’s a secret.

TOULA:

No noooo. You’ll have to type in

your relatives all the way back to

300 BC. You get frustrated just

adding up checks.

GUS:

Your mother talks to me and I lose

count! Show me.

Toula exhales. Then, points to the cursor.

TOULA:

Okay, this is called a mouse.

GUS:

Why?

TOULA:

I don’t know. Put your hand on it.

Gus covers it completely.

(CONTINUED)

25

CONTINUED:
(2)

TOULA (CONT’D)

Less.

Gus does.

TOULA (CONT’D)

All right, now look on the screen.

GUS:

Don’t make up words, you confuse

me.

TOULA:

Okay. See, on the scree -- uh,

computer? That’s your mouse

moving.

Gus stares. Moves the mouse. Then... sees it. His entire

face lights up.

GUS:

I got this.

A LITTLE LATER:

Gus pounds the table, Toula turns from the cabinet.

GUS (CONT’D)

Where did it go?!

TOULA:

You have to press SAVE!

Toula tries to help Gus input information.

ANOTHER DAY:

Gus and Ian scream at the computer screen.

IAN:

Quit?

GUS:

No quit!!

ANOTHER DAY:

Gus is inputting numbers Ian is reciting. Of course, Gus

gets them all wrong.

ANOTHER DAY:

Gus is inputting a document’s numbers as Nick sleeps.

(CONTINUED)

26

CONTINUED:
(3)

GUS (CONT’D)

3276

Toula comes in with snacks. Nick wakes up, tries to shove

Toula into the chair. Gus never turns around as Nick and

Toula wrestle to force each other to stay.

ANOTHER NIGHT:

The desk lamp glows as Gus works alone. He puts a document

into a dusty tin which once held Greek cookies... sees his

marriage certificate, picks it up.

CLOSE-UP:
the signature line is empty.

Gus is confused.

CUT TO:

EXT. CHURCH - DAY

An OVERHEAD SHOT of the parking lot: Gus’s Cadillac is parked

askew with its rear tire up on the curb.

The service is over, Gus and Maria walk out with Mana-Yiayia,

Aunt Voula, Uncle Taki, Angelo, Athena, Yianni, Nick, Ilaria,

their BABY BOY, Nikki, her husband, all the SONS.

Toula, Ian and Paris come out. Maria indicates the FAMILY.

MARIA:

See Paris, you can’t move away, who

would you go to church with?

This lands on Toula and Ian, Paris doesn’t have an answer.

Gus points to a GROUP of GREEK BOYS.

GUS:

Look Paris, husbands.

Paris quickly turns away.

PARIS:

I’ll be in the car.

TOULA:

I’ll go with you.

IAN:

Me too.

(CONTINUED)

27

CONTINUED:

PARIS:

(dryly)

Of course.

Aunt Voula nudges Angelo toward a group of ATTRACTIVE WOMEN.

AUNT VOULA:

Angelo, go pick a wife.

ANGELO:

Let it go, Ma.

The PRIEST introduces ANNA, 40’s.

PRIEST:

Gus, Maria, we have a new family.

Maria shakes Anna’s hand.

MARIA:

How do you like Chicago?

ANNA:

We love it! Da Bears.

MARIA:

(not getting it)

Okay.

ANNA:

We’re the Mikoses. I’m Anna, that’s

my husband, George--

Gus sees the back of GEORGE, 40’s, chatting to a GROUP.

MARIA:

I am Maria Portokalos this is my

husband, Costa. Do you have

children?

GUS:

Do you have a son?

ANNA:

We do!

Gus grunts to Uncle Taki.

GUS:

Meat-eaters. Maria, invite them to

the restaurant. Excuse me, I have

to go talk to the Priest.

(CONTINUED)

28

CONTINUED:
(2)

Gus heads to the Priest who is heading back up the stairs.

MARIA:

Go slow, your hip.

As Anna’s husband George gets closer to them... Nikki

brightens.

NIKKI:

I know you!

ANNA:

(so proud)

Ah, yes, you must recognize my

husband George from the channel 7

news.

George flashes gorgeous white teeth.

GEORGE:

Hello ladies.

Nikki gets excited.

NIKKI:

Yeah, I know you! Do the thing.

GEORGE:

“Good evening Chicagoland.”

George winks. Nikki unzips her top, grins.

Gus goes to the church entrance, holds out the certificate

and a pen to the Priest.

GUS:

Pater, look at this. Never signed.

Will you-When

he sees the unsigned line, the Priest looks alarmed.

SMASH CUT TO:

INT. DANCING ZORBA’S - DAY

In the corner booth, Aunt Voula and Uncle Taki lean to Gus.

AUNT VOULA:

You’re not married?!

Gus shushes them, looks around.

(CONTINUED)

29

CONTINUED:

UNCLE TAKI:

How can this be?

GUS:

You know, the war! The village

priest didn’t finish seminary,

there was no money for anything. I

guess he just came back to town and

performed the baptisms, funerals,

the weddings, and no one knew!

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