My Blue Heaven Page #4

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one of those frustrated women.

So out of desperation,

we decided to adopt one.

Then, brother. One, two, three in a row.

I was afraid to shake hands with her.

I guess it was because

I stopped worrying.

But you said Tony too.

JANET:
His mother and father

died in an accident.

He wasn't quite 3 months old

when we got him.

I thought it might be a good idea

if you would consider...

Where did you get them?

JANET:

Through the Sarah Wilson Foundation.

I'll give you the address

in case you ever want...

- Well, I bows to you.

- And nods accordingly.

Likewise.

The reason we came out here

was to try and talk you two...

...into doing a television show.

That right, Kitty?

What? Oh, yes.

Why, you inconsiderate

city-bred fella, you.

Do you think I'd give up my book,

leave this farm for that?

- Unless, of course, it pays money.

- Unless, of course, it pays money.

- Oh, only a few thousand a week.

- A mere pittance.

- Real money?

JACK:
Oh, yes.

- Exchangeable in any bar in America.

WALTER:
Well, let's drink it over.

- Well...

- We might as well go in and look.

Is there any law that says

we have to take one we don't like?

Oh, I think you can at least

pick and choose.

What do we have to lose?

- Is it a boy?

- You bet he is.

- Oh, he's beautiful.

- Thank you.

Come on, honey.

Have you ever applied for a child

in any other home or agency?

- No.

- Who sent you to us?

Mr. and Mrs. Pringle,

Walter Pringle.

Oh, yes, of course,

Mr. and Mrs. Pringle.

You'll want to use them

for one of your references.

- One?

- You'll need at least three.

Father's occupation?

We're Kitty and Jack Moran.

Remember?

Oh, yes, of course, how dull of me.

Jack and Kitty Moran.

I still don't seem to place you.

What do you do?

We've been on the radio.

Now we're going into television.

Oh-oh.

What does that mean, "Oh-oh"?

Oh, there's nothing

to worry about, really.

It's just that we've had two or three

rather unfortunate experiences...

...with people from the stage,

and Mrs. Johnston...

That's she there on the wall.

... Sarah Wilson was her mother.

Well, she's a wonderful woman, but...

She doesn't think that actors

are parent material, is that it?

Oh, there's no set rule.

It all depends on the individual

and the kind of program that you do.

We have a comedy program.

Yes, and we've also been

known to sing and dance.

Oh, I suppose I should be ashamed

to admit it...

...but I never listen

to programs like that.

Squeaking doors, murder,

that's the kind of thing I like.

Just last night,

I was listening to this program.

There was a detective,

he was on a case...

...oh, I forget what it was,

but, oh, it was thrilling.

I don't know how they ever think

up all those things, do you?

It's one of the mysteries of the ages.

Would it be possible

to see the babies...

...and give you an idea

of what we'd like?

Oh, but there aren't any babies

available at the moment, Mrs. Moran.

It may take weeks, months.

I've known some couples who

have had to wait as much as a year.

- A year?

- Well, you should see our waiting list.

Our trained workers have to make

a thorough investigation of you first.

Of your character, your home,

your general reliability.

Oh, yes, before we're through,

we'll know all about you, Mr. Moran.

But don't worry. I hope everything's

gonna turn out just the way you want it.

JACK:

Sure. Well, thank you.

If anything turns up,

we'll let you know.

In the meanwhile, I'm certainly

going to be watching for your program.

Then we ought to throw in

a few squeaky doors first.

That's all right, Mr. Moran,

I suppose I deserved that.

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye, Miss Gilbert.

- Thank you.

- Oh, not at all.

- Goodbye.

- Yes, thank you.

- It's been nice seeing you.

- Thank you.

Do you realize

what that woman said about us?

Yes. I should have married

a truck driver.

What's wrong with actors?

I'd make a wonderful father.

- I'll go back and tell her a thing or two...

- Jack, wait a minute.

- We want the baby, don't we?

- Well, sure we do.

- Why do they make those cracks?

- Come on.

What's wrong with theatrical people?

I pay my taxes. Let them investigate me.

When they wanna run a benefit,

the first people they call are actors.

They don't ask a truck driver

to drive for nothing.

All an actor's got is his talent.

He gives it for nothing.

Next benefit, put a truck driver on.

- See how much they raise.

- Jack, you're attracting a crowd.

Shows I can do business any place.

- Hey, bud.

- What?

What's wrong with truck drivers?

Oh, nothing.

I think they're charming. Come on.

[CROWD LAUGHING]

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

We go on in exactly one minute.

Now, I wanna show you

a signal that we use here.

When I go like this,

I want you all to applaud.

- Now, let's try it once and make it big.

- If we're 30 seconds over...

...at the number three spot,

give me a speed-up.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

TECHNICIAN:
Five seconds.

Four, three, two, one. Go.

[ORCHESTRA PLAYING]

ANNOUNCER:

The Cosmo Cosmetcs Show.

CHORUS [SINGING]:

Cosmo

It isn't carbonated.

Cosmo

It isn't alkaline.

Cosmo

But it's smooth as silk.

[SINGING]

Cosmo Cosmetcs are fresh and new

Cosmo Cosmetcs are good for you

Our lotons and our beauty creams

Have really ht New York

So get yourself a jar of t

And loosen up the cork

It blends wth all your clothes

It keeps you on your toes

Wth Cosmo Cosmetcs

From foot to head

You wll be lovely

In or out of bed

Mrs. Huntington Piffle I endorses it.

CHORUS:

Cosmo

The Grand Duchess Gisella Von

Graffengreed Il endorses it.

Cosmo

And the Princess Ambrosia de Palmer

House de Bourbon V endorses it.

Cosmo

[CHIMING]

I love a Mew Yorker

Bold. breezy and brght

I love a Mew Yorker

Who's out on the town every nght

I found me a woman

Cute knd of a bean

My knd of a woman

Who's out on the town to be seen

From the Waldorf down to Broadway

He's my prde and )oy

And though I mght te

A black or brght te

I'm )ust a whte-te New Yorker boy

Born. bred n Manhattan

Rght knd of a pal

Hat from Bonwt Teller

Shoes from Andrew Geller

And I'm her only feller

You can't oversell her

She's a corker

My New Yorker gal

From the Waldorf down to Broadway

He's the talk of Mew York

[WHISTLES]

Can't play canasta

He never hasta

He drnks a Shasta

Down at the Stork

Born. bred n Manhattan

We're rdng n hgh

- Hop and skp together

- Stop and sp together

- Hp. hp. hooray together

- Gonna stay together

He's a corker

My New Yorker

She's a corker

My New Yorker gal

- He's my fella

- She's my gal

CHORUS:

I love a Mew Yorker

Bold. breezy and brght

[CLOCK CHIMING]

Hop and skp together

Stop and sp together

Hp. hp hooray together

Gonna stay together

He's a corker

My New Yorker guy

My New Yorker gal

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

- Fine, Kitty, Jack.

- Oh, I'm melting.

JACK:

You insist on overdressing.

- Mrs. Moran?

KITTY:
Yes?

I hate to bother you,

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